Time Moves Quickly...

When you're an unemployed lawyer... or so I've learned. If you ever noticed that posting picked up around finals or other busy times, it'll make sense why it will kind of drop off now. I really don't know what to do with myself. This last birthday weekend was fantastic, with great friends enjoying great weather and a potentially toxic amount of boxed wine. I had birthday greetings from across the country and world and really felt very loved and honored. So, thanks. Kristina came from Minneapolis and Lindsey and Sylia from Chicago, we spent most of the time on the deck and other than that on the terrace. It was wonderful.

Since then, things have really died down. It's hard to know what to do with full days when you also can't spend money. I applied for foodstamps today... so there's that. Truthfully, I don't feel like a jerk... well, I do a little. But it's also necessary. Or, will make life possible. I am not sure one can be a licensed attorney with an iphone and a 2006 car on foodstamps and not feel like a little bit of a jerk... but here I am.

And moving away from that downer, you've previously like when I post successful recipes. So, I made these tonight at the recommendation of my mom. She's right, they are delish. I didn't have coriander and I baked them and they were delish. So, there. Charlie advocated for less cinnamon next time, FYI.

So, that's the boring news from here.

Also, I got a new car...

It is pretty cute and pretty sweet. It looks like this except the girl driving it isn't me...

Not really trying to preach, just trying to explain:

From Days and Nights with the Unbored, here's p.d. El Cholestero on jail visiting:

...I've spent more time in jail facilities than most religious people have spent inside of church. I've heard such stories of sadness, anger, desperation, stupidity, recklessness and pure evil. How can I remain unchanged?

Lazy & gross or what? No, I didn't buy it.

But interesting option for saving 20 seconds of prep for the next dip
party.

Thinking about the Wesleyan shooting, bad things and a career in criminal defense (once someone will let me have one!!)

I also first thought there has to be something else- what is that something else?  And usually that something is untreated mental illness. Because, well, most simply, mentally healthy people don't do things like this. It has still not failed to astound me,  the strange catch-22 of violent criminal behavior... 

I think that reaction and question is good, though, too, because at least for me its an inability/unwillingness to believe in people being just pure evil. I prefer to live in a world where people do terrible things because they're sick or addicted or horribly abused by people who are sick or addicted, than one where they are just evil.** 

More than once more cynical classmates have implied this makes me naive.  That's (insulting and) just not true. Perhaps if something being "god's plan" makes you feel better, you'll also feel better just knowing someone is evil. But neither works for me.  It's too easy and sadistic to just want to punish people because they are "bad." It is much harder to look at people individually and try to see how they are the way they are.  It's harder because sometimes identifying the discrete ways someone who has broken the social code is different than you is a frightening examination of yourself. And, just to answer the cynics, none of this makes it ok.  It is completely possible to both want and work for the best outcome for the person while being truly disgusted by what they did. I sent a letter to an inmate today who had a on-going relationship with a 12 year old and wanted to reduce his sentence because she had her period on one of the dates of the sexual assaults he was convicted of.  So, um, believe me, it's very possible to be completely disgusted as a person and still give some darn good advice.  

Little of this has to do with the events of the past day + now.  But, so be it.

** I am not convinced taking advantage of a position of power isn't evil... there are some members of the last administration I'd be willing to concede on.  

There's not a lot I can or should say about this, but I've been trying to figure out, over the past 24 hours or so, why the murder of Johanna Justin-Jinich has bothered me so much. I think it's obvious that the tragic death of any young person should be bothersome, but the fact that it happened at Wesleyan is definitely what makes it stick.  And so I find myself thinking about her family, as one typically would... but also the girl quoted as planning to live with her next year.  I imagine how excited they were about their senior house. Because I know how excited we were. 

I think my mom actually hit it when she said, "It is natural that you would be so bothered – Wesleyan was one of the most emotionally safe & happy times in your life. It’s very sad."  That's still not entirely it, I loved college but it was not a completely happy time- either personally or nationally.

Aside from the personal, Fall of our junior year was 9/11. I remember the feeling on campus so clearly, the generalized fear and lack of information that morning. We somehow could tell the world (and our world) would never be the same... but we were still safe at Wesleyan. The world might have been in flux and scary, the planes crashed about 100 miles away, classmates were worried about where family and friends were.  But there, we were completely safe.  I think what has made me so sad about this is that all of those kids and all the ones to come have lost the ability to feel that way.  When college turns into a blur punctuated by certain memories, like it already has for me, I am afraid their late-night discussions and meteor showers and food fights and silly crushes and prank calls and the excitement of the pre-Presidential Obama graduation speech will fade and the terror and loss of these days will dominate.  

I hope I'm wrong... but yes, I think that's why I'm so bothered.

Question

Sweet Jesus, who is eating a hamburger every day and did we need a ten-year study to tell us those people will die sooner?

See here.

Ok, back to studying for second exam in 2 days. In 22 hours, this whole law school thing is done. Weird. And awesome.