Resolved

I don't think I really made a New Year resolution before last year. Like, a real, tangible one I could hold myself accountable for. My previous "resolutions" were things like to be nicer... but I think I've made some major gains in the past 1, 2, 5, 10 years. I see a difference, at least. I am a lot less angry than I was, I am still working on keeping "mean" in the realm of sassiness.
Last year, I privately resolved to avoid bottled water. Kind of for environmental reasons, kind of just because it seemed like a good idea. Now, the environmental angle has some flaws because choosing a soda or bottled juice instead is still problematic, but in 2008 I drank predominantly water from the tap/Brita, coffee and diet coke. Don't make me give up the Diet Coke...
This year the best resolution I can come up with is to run the Madison Crazylegs at the end of April. It's a 5 mile fun-run type thing, starting at the capitol and going all around the isthmus. Now, my limited readership probably knows, I am not a runner. This fall was probably my most concerted effort at becoming one... and I was sidelined by insane shin splints. So, I am back with a ease-in-to-it plan and some good (expensive-ish) insoles.
So, I won't go so far as to vlog it. But for the first time, I am making my New Year's resolutions public. So enjoy it and I'll let you know how it goes.
In other news, I found myself at a bit of a loss in writing New Years cards (they are like xmas cards but 50% off and for people with finals.... also everyone is forced to abide by the Roman calendar...) In the past, well, as long as I have been writing them, I have wished people a better next year than this year. Because each year was so disastrous and depressing. 2008 has been pretty amazing, though. And since none of my recipients have 401ks worth noting... I guess my wish for us all is to have a 2009 on par with 2008. I hope 2009 is filed with excitement and community and inclusion and hard work and big fun.
I got this CD from MoveOn.org in 2004, which includes the song "This Will Be Our Year" by Ok Go. I just realized I am a little bit fearful of resting on laurels and thinking that "our year" just happened. It didn't. 2009 will surely be a challenge, still. But 2008 really did convice me that we're up to it.

Ok, enough slop. Now enjoy the song (please ignore the Finding Nemo graphics)-- and HAPPY NEW YEAR!:

Dear Cake Batter Ice Cream,

I didn't know it was possible to love a non-chocolate flavor of ice cream this much. You've opened my eyes and made me a more accepting, worldly person.

Your friend 'til the end,

Sarah

ps. I have been home alone since Saturday night with very little interaction with other people... except for store clerks. It's been weirdly nice, but also has me cracked up. Writing love letters to ice cream flavors, for example.

Faith

I went to the Dominican Republic for 8 days and then I came back and had Christmas and now I am housebound because of an ice storm. It's me and my 93 yr old grandma here. It took most of lunch on Christmas Eve to get my dad to understand that this was actually her 94th Christmas. Not even me saying, "ok, I'm 27, but let's count my Christmases-- 1981, 1982, 1983... see, 28!" convinced him. I come by my fear of math honestly, I guess.

On the way home from the DR I arrived at SDQ intending to go standby at 8:50 (my original flight left at 4:30pm.) The man at the counter squeezed me on to the 9:20 flight and told me to run. And then said it again for emphasis. I looked shifty and sweaty going through Dominican immigration/customs. I got to Miami at about 10:30am Miami-time (the DR is an hour later than that.) The SDQ man told me I would have to stand by in Miami for 2:55. By the time I cleared customs and immigration it was almost noon and I was sweaty and shaking. I think because of no food, so I have some chicken nuggets at Burger King, with lots of BBQ sauce for energy. Then I got myself on the standby list for the 11:55 flight which hadn't left. That flight was pushed back over and over until it finally left at 3, with me on it. The 2:55, a 4pm and my original flight at 7:30 had all been canceled.

I arrived in O'Hare to a fresh kind of hell. But one I wasn't really involved in... I was just there long enough to wait for the parking shuttle. People were tired and crazed and were running up to car rental shuttle vans desperately asking if they had cars available. I shared my parking shuttle with a guy who had spent all day trying to get to Phoenix. Eventually they told him he wasn't going the 23rd and he wasn't going the 24th... so he was on his way home to open a bottle of wine and make a new plan for Christmas.

Anyway, the point of all this is such:

1. Lots of bad travel things happened to people over the holidays (like the guy who fell 40 feet off the overpass in his car??), but this is a good story.

2. Standby travel is amazing. I haven't ever really done it before, but I am a convert for sure.

3. Maybe we all do a lot of bitching, but this all worked out very well for me. I was very lucky-- if I hadn't made that early flight in SDQ, I would have spent Christmas in Miami.

4. I am stuck in the house because of an ice storm... why was it again I didn't want to spend Christmas in Miami?

5. Happy belated-Solstice, Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Boxing Day, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year.

Wow.

It's still a good idea, even in St. Paul. It just amazes me we're on par with NY, New Orleans, etc.

No analog in Mpls public schools, so far.

Good Idea/Bad Idea

Welcome to the latest installment of Good Idea/Bad Idea. Let's get started:

GOOD IDEA:

Being done with finals and leaving for the Dominican Republic. Yes, thank you, I thought it was a good idea, too.

BAD IDEA:

Bettern Peanut Butter. See it here. The consistency is weird and sticky and it is too sweet. And tastes only vaguely like peanuts. Yes, it is a good diet food... because it's gross and you won't eat it but will feel guilty about buying more real peanut butter as long as you have it. We finally overcame this by deciding the best thing to do would be to mix the fake-o peanut butter with real peanut butter. I'll review that later on.

GOOD IDEA:
Getting beautiful regular manis (and less regular pedis.) I just love looking at them and not gnawing on them because they are painted. Friend Danielle provided a good idea that you buy the color you want, have them paint you with that and then you can do touch-ups on your own at home. An even better idea is what I did, use the nail polish she bought for this purpose.

Look how beautiful I look!

BAD IDEA:

"Body Pump" class and "Body Attack" class back to back over two days. Ouch.

Another BAD IDEA:

Letting me out of the house? At Target the other day I bought a 5-piece luggage set. Long story short is that an extra 4 pieces were like $10 more than just the suitcase I came for. So consumerism won, I was super American and bought it, whatever. At check out, the checker says she has to check through the "pieces" trying to make it sound like it was to be sure they were all there, but more importantly probably making sure I wasn't stealing anything in the 5 pieces. So she starts going through the suitcases, which are nested inside one another, and I say:

"If this were Law and Order, I'd be stealing a baby out of the store in those."

Yeah, um, it seems she was not the L & O fan I am. What a weird thing to say to a stranger, Sarah. Jeesus.

GOOD IDEA and BAD IDEA:

Bar Bingo. Or "drinking like you're still in college."



Bad idea for the way I feel (probably contributing to the pump/attack full body pain.) Good idea because I came in 3rd... I mean, if you're going to play, you might as well win, right?


Ok, time to get back to a little packing, a little paper-writing and a little getting ready for the trivia playoffs tonight. My next dispatch may be from the DR... or you, my adoring public (of three?), will have to wait with bated breath until after x-mas.

Happy Holidays but mostly Happy Chanukah.

I am so mad!

And hoping complaining about it will allow me to refocus on what I should be doing-- learning Remedies and Business Organizations for the two exams I have tomorrow and Thursday!
But. I just got this phone call and it made me cry with frustration and stress. It was a collections agency, telling me a private college loan was more than 60 days overdue. It started out ok, I explained that I had gotten a letter about this, called the servicer and subsequently sent in a verification that I am still a full-time student, so the loan should be back deferred.

But this is where she gets crazy. She says the loan is owned by "First Modelhead." I say "MODEL head?" She says yes. We go around like this a few times, including my SPELLING "model" and her confirming, before I remember my former fluency in Masshole. Turns out she is saying "Marblehead."

She starts telling me that this loan, no wait, NO loan can be in deference. And this one especially can't be, because it's been more than four years. I tell her, actually, it's been over nine years since I took it out... and 5.5 since I graduated from college. And now 2.5 since I've been back in school and not paying it. So why call me and tell me about it for the first time TONIGHT? She tells me I had forebearance... and I ask how that would happen if I never applied for it. And she tells me I "must have." This is the beginning of the end... so I ask whether she works for the lender or a collections agency, she becomes incredibly condescending and tells me twice "I work for the people who gave you the money to go to school." Now I am really mad. I tell her I am not going to give my credit card number to someone who calls me, telling me about a debt I have never heard of without some kind of verification.

Then she tells me I have to pay her $126 before 7:30pm (two hours from when she called.) I literally said, "or what?!?" She tells me some bullshit about "breach of contract" which I know not to be true and a lot of mumbo jumbo words.

I hung up for the call and cried, so pissed. And slightly suspected it was competitive classmate trying to throw me off my game for the exam tomorrow.

I think at one level pissed plainly because I have two exams in the next 36 hours and am just stressed. But I think also pissed at how much things like this affect me and how helpless I feel, even though I know it's ridiculous and even though this is supposed to be part of the career I am entering. I am supposed to fight for little guys but I can barely stick up for myself? It makes me mad how much power some bitch like she has, when I actually know what these words mean and know she's being tricky, but it still scares me. Kind of like when I got pulled over right before Thanksgiving and the cop told me I could "sign here promising you'll pay the ticket" or be taken into the station. Intimidated the shit out of me even though I know that can't possibly be the law.

And lastly, I think frustrated because I have all these stupid private student loans that I can barely keep track of. And none of them are for that much individually, like I think this one is $4 or $5k... I just really so wished I had the money to pay it off so that mean woman would never call me again.

But.

It'll be okay, I talked to the servicer, I think that woman is crazy and lying and it'll be able to go back into deferrment. Hopefully not being too damaging to my credit before that happens... meanwhile, the other thing worse than receiving vague and condescending threats... is reading about Business Organizations.

I am sure why...

This strikes me as so funny. You know how in English, some people (not me or probably you, but some people) write things like "got 2 go" and "4ever yours?"

Well, I just noticed on facebook a spanish-speaking friend offering another "salu2."

You know, "Saludos."

I've Always Wanted a Hobby...

A week or two ago I went into Starbucks. Now, I wanted a medium, skim, sugar-free vanilla latte, but I am hip to their lingo (aka trained like a Pavlovian dog) so I asked for a "grande skinny latte." I move to the end up of the counter and wait, eventually the barista puts a drink up on the end and says, "grande standard." I didn't take it, no one else took it and they called it again, "grande standard" then kind of giggled and said "grande skinny vanilla latte."

Now I never really thought I was going to Starbucks for the respect... but this seemed to cross some line. Like you extort $4.50 out of me for a coffee and then you say I am just like every other ugg and leggings-wearing bimbo to walk through these doors (except, notably, with neither uggs nor leggings)?? I don't think so.

So I engaged in what I plan to become my hobby-- complaining to corporations. I spent longer than probably necessary on Starbucks.com telling them how on one hand their success to due to them serving the exact same thing all over the world... on the other hand they have had this whole campaign of expressing yourself through your coffee. Either hand means it's bad business to alienate your customers and make them feel like losers. Or try to, since in reality it didn't really work. But on starbucks.com, I was very offended. And it resulted in two free drink coupons in the mail. A little righteous indignation and 6 minutes of work for a $10 value? This is like having a job or something!

So my new plan is to complain to lots of corporate HQs, in the hopes of being similarly compensated. The one kind of rule I created is that I can't make up what happened, but I dial up the actual outrage I felt in the situation. So, for example, Chipotle will soon be hearing how offended I was that they told me the guacamole was extra-- I am just unsure whether to explain it was because they didn't recognize me as a "regular" or because I felt like they were calling me "poor."

I'll let you know how it goes.

Happy Holidays from the Sluts

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Time for a Little Evolution

Why does this shoe exist?

It doesn't even make any sense.

Just so we're clear, this is a rubber flat made to look like suede, lined with some kind of synthetic fur and finished off with a promise ring? And here I was thinking Crocs couldn't get stupider.*

*Full disclosure, I do kind of want these. I have held off, not only because they are crocs and not only because they are not apparently sold in the winter and not because $30 for plastic shoes just seems wrong... but they actually make my feet look pregnant. Not like pregnant person feet, but like my feet are going to have their own feet babies.

And while we're on the topic, I also want these. I was looking for less expensive alternatives when I stumbled across God's mistake, the promise ring furcrocs. I guess I can lay the groundwork for xmas.

Oh, also, I am going to New York tomorrow. When is a better time for a little mid-week getaway than finals?

Disappointed

In Obama. Because of this. I am.

I thought he and Michelle were different, she's cooler for not wanting that kind of stuff and he's cooler for not wasting money in a recession. I don't know, I guess I think it's poor judgment to spend $30k on a ring.

Hanging Chads

I have spent a lot of time evaluating ballots today on Star Tribune.com. You can take the Senate Ballot Challenge, too. Some of them are totally normal-looking, to me at least. It's clear who they meant to select, even if coloring inside the bubble isn't their strength. But, what I've really noticed here is that folks really screwed up their ballots and then turned them in. Like, you can't circle "Norm Coleman," then draw an X through it and fill the dots next to both Dean Barkley and Al Franken. That's just silly and, to be honest, looks to be more of a crazy problem with crazy Coleman crazy voters. So, here is my PSA for today-- if you mess up while voting, please just ask for another ballot and try not to screw that one up. I know it is state-by-state, but in Wisconsin you get up to three ballots to figure out what you're doing. Or, you know, let each of your personalities vote once and then arm wrestle each other for whose vote to count.

Just say "yes."

Customer Service Agent: I'd be happy to assist you, first I need to verify some information.
Me: Ok.
CSA: Are you still living at ________?
Me: Yep.
CSA: And is your phone number still ______?
Me: Yes.
CSA: And your email address is "Sara H. Erlinder at yahoo.com"?
Me:.....um....yes.

Consumer Update

Every so often I like to update you, my loyal readers, on things that I've bought and how they are working out.

1. Gillette Alluring Avocado Shave Gel. If you, like me, think that this will smell like Avocado instead of super-sweet melony crap like every other women's shave gel... well, then you, like me, would be just plain wrong.

2. The iPhone. I bought it about a month ago. I love it so much, it's like my new best friend. You know, like the kind of best friend you pay a lot of money for and then are very worried about getting wet. We play games together, it reminds me to do things and can answer any question in pinch. A true pal.

3. Kemp's 100 Calorie Ice Cream Bars. I can't find a link to them. They are delicious and tiny. And have 7 grams of fat in each tiny little one. I feel a little duped. Quantity over quality, people.

4. Haircut. Got this one today, it was desperately needed. I don't think it's a Madison-is-cheap thing, I think this place is stuck in the 90s or something. It's an Aveda salon, they rub my head with oils and do a good job cutting my hair... for $35. I kind of realized lately I've been letting myself go... ratty hair, ill-fitting jeans, oftentimes some kind of stain on my shirt. Time to get it together, sister.

5. Ticket to Nashville in April for "the house" plus Erin. Will be awesome. Want to stay at the Gaylord Opryland. Also want to wear cowgirl boots and will need tight jeans by the trip.

6. Airfare change from American so I won't spend xmas eve eve in Miami on the way back from the DR... it was $147 to fix my stupidity in scheduling. I have been stupid in much more expensive ways.

"I'm Still Hoping for a New Day Every 24 Hours"

That's a quote from one of the Restorative Justice class participants I saw graduate from the program on Monday at Columbia Correctional Institution. There was a lot that was really cool about it-- not only did the official diploma holders and speeches and so on mean a lot to a bunch of guys in maximum security prison, many of who have never successfully completed anything in their lives... but it was also cool that the reverend who runs the program brought all of these parishioners from his church to watch. Most of them had never been in a prison before, and now their experience was moving, uplifting, eloquent and replete with cake! MLKJ was quoted no fewer than 7 times and a really lovely allegory (it's all over the internet, like here) was told in the graduation speeches.

I hate prison. I hate the idea of it and I hate what it does to people. Going to prison is exhausting, even for me, just for the day. I find myself thinking about people who are in prison while I am going about doing other things... they are just still right there. It's interesting and depressing to see the different stages of acceptance and growth inmates have. I am not sure what I would do. At lunch on Monday, one of the social workers from the prison told us going to prison is her worst nightmare. She claimed she would kill herself before going to prison. I have been doing this small job since last spring, responding to inmate research requests from the federal supermax. Read about what it's like to be there. Twenty three hours a days in a cell alone. One hour of exercise. No contact with other people. I can't even imagine. I've responded to letters and had regular correspondence with some pretty illustrious guys over there... famous in the world of crime and "terror." This semester since now I am on a flatrate instead of an hourly payscale, I have found myself getting annoyed with some of the requests... I got one the other day, though, that jarred me out of being annoyed. I had provided this guy some divorce materials for Colorado, forms he could fill out and file himself. He wrote back, thanking me profusely and asking for a couple of other things. He included a copy of a form letter from the Colorado Bar... he had asked for referrals and they gave him an sheet of websites and phone numbers. Well, he mentioned, he doesn't have access to the internet. Or a phone. So could I just go to the website and tell him if there is a mailing address and what it is. "We are only allowed to send letters." Today I sent four letters to four different guys who, according to an old New York Times article were convicted together, two are cousins... I wondered if they even knew the others were there also? Did they all find me separately? How would they tell each other to write to me?

Anyway... most prisons are nothing like that. I am continually impressed by the brotherhood among inmates and how many help one another out. So I saw that on Monday, as well. Even though I missed out on the cake.

Obama Fever. Yes, I still have it.

Barack Obama seems to be a really good dad. I love that. And I love those girls. Look at these (and these) pictures and love them, too.

Here's Something Exciting

It's happening!

A Couple of Things Since the Election

1. Saturday I took the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam. It sucked. Here's hoping I passed so that I don't have to do anything that sucky until the Bar. I think I am plenty ethical. Plus, you pass in any state if you're like 2/3 ethical, I can totally do that.

2. I applied for an application with www.change.gov. It's like fate or kismet... I need a job. And my country needs me. And I love Barack Obama. Here's hoping I am ethical enough to work for him.

3. My newest hobby is surfing youtube for things to make me cry.
Recently:



Less Recently, but have watched it no less than 12 times and gotten misty each time. Also sing it in the car:


And then of course:


Lauren likes to get all mushy, too. She has a lot of these over there, as well.

This is Really Quite Lovely

I luv Minneapolis.


The article is nice, too.
MichaelMoore.com has a bunch of other beautiful linked videos.

Taking it to the streets!

OK, so what was the best part?

Was it literally dancing in the streets?

Was it drinking champagne and crying?

Was it running into a french-canadian acquaintance who embraced me and said, "thank you?"

Ok, how about the smile and tingle each time the radio says "President-elect Obama?"

Or maybe hugging and hi-fiving strangers?

Or maybe talking to loved ones far away, every so completely joyous?

This has been an awesome 18 hours or so. I've had an election-hangover all day. Kind of fuzzy and unsure what happens next. And feeling like spending money and being decadent and thinking about the future....

And I loved Obama's acceptance speech and the emphasis on this not being the end of things, instead the beginning. Which is true. But right now we still need a couple more days of ICANTEVENBELIEVEITOHMYGOD!!!!!!!!

And, let's be honest, probably a lot more crying.

Also, turns out I'm still really white.

Welcome Home!

Remember to Vote and Ethical Dilemma

I know 2 people personally who are voting for McCain. Not bad... One of them is from Illinois, in Wisconsin at school with me and asked yesterday where to vote early.

Ethical dilemma!

Keep your nasty old John McCain vote away from me! I told her, "Illinois."

"Ha, ha, but really?"

Um.... so I told her.

I feel overwhelmed and scared and excited. The NYTimes.com has a feature, asking voters to describe how they feel in one word- my first one this morning was "aflutter." I can't concentrate on anything, I am pretty sure by this afternoon-- and definitely by the time I have my first beer after class tonight-- my word will be "hotmess."



Also, looks like McCain himself made the right choice:

I'm Endorsing Obama and Crying All the Time

Ok, I mean, duh, right? I have endorsed Obama for President since 2004. There is a moment stuck in my mind and it comes up whenever I think of Barack Obama. Election night, 2004 in the old apartment in Brooklyn. Erica and Daniel are watching coverage on TV and I just can't handle it anymore, so I am in bed, listening to NPR. They report from the living room that Kerry has conceded Florida... and I start crying. NPR announces Obama has won in Illinois, making him the third black senator since reconstruction. And that was when I started wailing. Not only were were looking down the road of another 4 years of George Bush... but howfuckedupisthewholefuckingcountryanywayohmygod.

I've been getting really emotional about the election recently. I voted yesterday and started crying while connecting the arrow next to the Obama/Biden ticket.



Perhaps it was that I had waiting in line for 2 hours... but I think maybe the Hope has gotten to me. And not really hope for the country or hope that things could be better, but hope that it's my place after all. By far the hardest thing in 2004 was feeling like I could see so clearly how badly things were going, what a schmuck G.W. is, and then the country voted (and even if not all the votes were counted) many, many (most) of them voted for Bush. I felt so alienated from my country and just kind of afloat. Now, the idea that most people could vote for Obama... well, obviously it makes me cry. But for partially very selfish reasons-- it means my home is a place I want to be.

I cried about the election a second time yesterday. After voting, I was driving to get some Halloween supplies and passed a man standing on the side of the road, wearing Obama gear with a giant handmade sign that read, "VOTE!" I honked and gave him the thumbs up and we shared a milisecond of smiles.

And then I started crying again...

This time, I think, because it has also been so touching and inspiring how people have gotten into this election and taken ownership of the process and the candidate. Every election I've been able to vote in has been a disappointment... but all these people, they have that Hope, too. And they're making their own signs and spending Friday afternoon standing on a street corner.

There is a lot I can identify with in this article. Until about a week ago, I couldn't let myself go- we've been so devastated before. I can't let my hopes rise to have another 2004.. but maybe that's been this "hope" thing the whole time. And I don't want to live in fear or be a victim of the political process in my own country. Apparently, neither do others-- and so this is what has been so exciting about this election.

And, also... YAY! There will be crying on Tuesday night no matter what (Charlie, be warned). Here's to the happy kind!

Louisiana Loves Obama

Strangely exciting and historic...

Today I filled up the Chevy with gas for 2.99. Holy cow.

It's like there's an election coming or something...

For You Law Nerds Out There

In an interview with the public defender of a state that shall remain nameless, but is sometimes thought of (by me) as Vermont's evil twin (although less so now that they're apparently going blue):

Interviewer: What's your favorite Supreme Court case?

Me: Um... Is the right answer Gideon? Because that's the case that means we have jobs?

Interviewer: YES! Yes, Gideon is the answer-- and I've been waiting three days for someone to say it!

Other highlights include making up potential responses to the rumored Philly question, "do black people make you uncomfortable?" So far, we have:

a) Do white people make you uncomfortable?

b) No, no, I've spent a lot of time in prison.

Or, my contribution:

c) Um, everyone makes me uncomfortable.

Jetplane (Leaving on a)

Three days in D.C. start this evening. Saturday will be 6 job interviews. NY? DC? Philly? Colorado? New Hampshire? San Diego? Or more likely none of them since I am very skeptical anyone gets jobs this way, anyway.

Nonetheless, my suit is drycleaned, I got a good hotel deal on Hotwire and there will be lots of folks there I know or "know" via email from SHN. And of course, generally being famous and awesome. Any suggestions on what where to eat or what to do?

Let's see... I have been nursing myself back to health from something nasty through the use of hippie drugs. Like Oregano Spirits and the Neti Pot. So far so good.

Oh, yeah, and my little baby boyfriend turned 26 today. Awwww....

Happy Birthday!

Baddest Ass

Friday morning I flew from Milwaukee to New Orleans at 6am. (Thursday night I had dinner with my step dad and this guy and this other guy who represents Guantanamo guys and Padilla and other cool stuff.)
The weekend was wonderful. I was there for a wedding and got to spend great time with new and old friends. It was a beautiful ceremony (including a reading from the law nerdily appropriate Goodrich v. Dept. of Health.) I discovered I still had "it" when I caught the shuttle to the airport at 3:50 a.m. on Sunday, still wearing my dress. I had actually decided to leave the rest of my stuff in New Orleans and fly back as-is... but made a last-minute good call.
And so, I am still recovering. I arrived home without my cell phone charger but with some kind of upper respiratory infection. Nevertheless, internet, please know, I am badass.

)

Musical Reviews

I've gone to concerts for free the past two Friday evenings. You wouldn't know it. In fact, if you only read this, you'd know very little about now.

Friday before last, Charlie won tickets to Langhorne Slim. I've found it very easy to win tickets to minor concerts in Madison. Basically, if we both enter three main sites (Madison.com, the Onion and Muzzle of Bees), we seem to have a better than 50% chance of winning. Overall odds are helped by incidents like where I won tickets to the Avett Bros. from both Madison.com and the Onion. Anyway, the show was really high energy and fun. I didn't really realize his following is approximately 8-10 years younger than me... but it was cool. We just sat in the balcony with the old people. I don't know his music that well, but the other fans did and it always makes me happy to see a bunch of people get SO STOKED when a song comes on.

Last Friday I registered people to vote at the Neko Case show, one of the first acts of Madison's ingaural Forward Music Fest. Yeah. That's right, I exercised my giant muscle of democracy while being entertained by a slightly-less-hot-than-I-remember-but-still-pretty-hot Neko. I am a really good person.

My good personality continued through Saturday morning when I participated in a 5k raising money for public interest law students. It was a lovely day in Madison. Riding to the race along the lakeshore path, I mused that if UW were located in a more temperate climate... it would be the hardest school to get into in the country. Because, let me tell you, on a nice day, it's unbelievably lovely. Post race we did what Wisconsinites do when it's nice outside... start drinking. And kept drinking. All day. Until 10:30 or so at night when I caught 20 minutes or so of SNL and decided that "the free market... not looking so free lately..." was the cleverest joke I'd ever heard. And then I fell asleep.

Now, see, this is why I don't blog more often. I try to talk about music and it turns into some minute by minute rundown of my day to day. Lame.

Tim Wise Does A Really Good Job

White Privilege and the election, via my mom.

This is Really Funny

Bad Sarah, for reals.

So Sarah Palin is totally crazy. But I guess the real question is, crazy like a fox? (or a caribou, in her case?)

"I believe Alaska is one of the refuge states in the last days, and hundreds of thousands of people are going to come to the state to seek refuge and the church has to be ready to minister to them."

Um, hundred of thousands of people don't even believe Alaska exists. Increasingly, I may be one of them. All of this crazy-ass Sarah Palin stuff has given me some good tips, though. When arguing my point, be sure to mention that's what God wants. She says God wants off-shore drilling. Well, I say God also wants to you find my crack possession client not guilty. God also wants me to have an iPod touch and go on some kind of tropical vacation later this year. Um, and professors, yeah, since it's my last year and all, God would prefer you give me straight As and require no effort on my part. I mean, it's for God and all. Wow, this is awesome. I can see why she's so qualified to be John McCain irregular heartbeat away from leader of superawesome America.

Addendum: Found this-- while Palin was mayor of Wasilla, the town was billing sexual assault victim's insurance for their evidence-collecting exams. WTF?

More Complete Outrage

Two Things About This Article...

1. "I was vetted by John McCain" sounds dirty. Like there is a lawsuit in the works....

2. Sarah Palin is like Paul Wellstone how exactly? No, gross. Find a new analogy, please...

Oh, this is the article I'm talking about.

RNC, Yeah You Know Me

I was in Minneapolis this weekend, in St. Paul for what was supposed to be day one of the RNC. Of course, the Republicans cared too much about poor people in the Gulf Coast to party? Or I suppose that's the line.

Anyway, I was a legal observer on Monday. And saw some shit. The whole thing was so disheartening, kids being beat up and tear-gassed in my home. As I said in my email to St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman, we're supposed to be better than this.

So here are the pictures I put on Facebook, with a little more narration.


The National Guard, getting ready to bust some anarchist kids' heads. Then, about 6 cops take a non-violent kid (with no shoes on) down. And kick him repeatedly on the ground. Onlookers from the sidewalk start shouting, "hey man, take it easy, chill out!"


So those onlookers got pepper-sprayed. Naturally.


Paul and Sheila would be proud of those kids, and grossed out by the St. Paul police.

I wish I could have stayed in town longer, there was literally tear-gas in the air and it was exciting... but stupid school got in the way. Today was day three of 3L... oh yeah, and SENIORS!!!!!!!!

Proof Anyone Can Get a Book Deal

Alternate title: Sometimes Making Things Into Books Ruins Them.

Exhibit A.

Show and Blow Sounds Funny

I am back in Madison after more than 3 months and 3600 miles:

View Larger Map

And so there will be more on the end of New Orleans, the road trip, the wedding, the new apartment. But for now, enjoy this:

Dear Student Badger Fan,

Congratulations on receiving your season tickets for football. The Dean of Students Office wants you to have a great experience supporting our team this season. We also would like to make you aware of a program and also ask for your assistance in making game days great.

Our office operates a program called “Show and Blow” that affects students who are ejected from Camp Randall for alcohol related reasons. This program requires students ejected from a game to come to all subsequent games completely sober if they are underage, or legally sober if they are of-age. We implemented this program last year in an effort to address serious alcohol related behavioral issues at football games. There are important changes this season related to student season ticket holders who are required to participate in this program.

Vouchers for any student season ticket holder ejected for alcohol related reasons will be electronically tagged. This means that if a student season ticket holder is in the Show and Blow program and their voucher is used at any of the remaining games, the user of that voucher will be directed to the Show and Blow area to complete a preliminary breath test (PBT) to verify compliance with the program.

Kismet

My friend Liv (pronounced "leave") studied abroad with us in Chile and coined a new email address for the move-- liv2chile. It was cute and clever and of course she changed it when we got back and graduated from college...

So this guy is a UW grad, I've met him through one of my professors. And this is his run for Congress:

http://www.kenya2congress.com/

Funny.

Sunday, for God and Fun

Saturday: Abita Springs, LA

This is a place where the beer is free and flows like water. Water you pour yourself.

Then things got silly...


And mini...

And clever (Lindsey bought one... I tried to get one for Charlie...)

Last Weekend

And two very New Orleans Events:

1. Friday Night: Chicken Drop at Outer Banks Bar. You can ask me questions about what this means, but the pictures and video should pretty much explain it all. Yes, this is a bar game here. And yes, if you're poor in New Orleans, these are your lawyers...

And then, Saturday, White Linen Night... where bourgeois New Orleanians dress all in white and walk around looking at art.

Next weekend? Abita Brewery Tour and tubing on the Bogachitta river, in Bogachitta, MS. Stay tuned.

Press

This has been a great series of articles about some of the issues the office runs up against.

Take your pick:

Stings Targeting the Homeless

Silly Pot Busts

Crime Against Nature

Spiders & the South

You know the urban legend about how you swallow seven spiders in your sleep over the average lifetime?
I think most places folks average 0 or 1... And the deep south brings up the average. There are so many spiders in my apartment! And strangely, I don't think I've seen the same kind twice. They also don't seem to bite. Which, you know, is a good characteristic of anything that tries to share my bed.

Today at TJ Maxx here, I saw a white teen wearing a shirt with a confederate flag on it, that said, "if this offends you, you need a history lesson." I am curious about the content of this lesson. And also wondering where they sell the complementary shirt, with a picture of that shirt on it that says, "if you wear this shirt in public, you need an ass-kicking."

New Orleans Culture in a Safe, Non-Threatening Environment

Lakeside Mall, Metairie, LA

Our Sworn Duty

“We, as criminal defense lawyers, are forced to deal with some of the lowest people on earth, people who have no sense of right and wrong, people who will lie in court to get what they want, people who do not care who gets hurt in the process. It is our job – our sworn duty – as criminal defense lawyers, to protect our clients from those people.”

Updates

Some are nerdy, some are not...
A writ I wrote last week for a 15 year old accused of armed robbery was granted, so that's like, we won. At least enough to get him sent back to juvenile court. Where, really, any 15 year old belongs.
Friday night I went out with office folks, a long happy hour and a bar and Soul Rebels, which is always fun. Lots of funny, drunkish conversations with lawyers and clerk and staff. Mostly worth waking up on Saturday, nearly afternoon, and feeling like warmed over spit. And it was raining, so I went to Batman. And, since the whole country saw it this weekend, you probably already know that it's awesome. My two-year relationship with a comic artist, and pressure from some of his super-obsessed friends to see and do everything DC/Marvel makes me a little hesitant about seeing super hero movies. But, I'll be damned, this is not the Hellboy II they would have made me see (let's be honest, I never would have seen it, but they would have given me a hard time).

Saturday night we basically ate all night, first sushi and beer, then tried to eat cajun food but were too full. So I went home with everyone's leftovers, which meant I was eating Alligator Cheesecake for breakfast (amazingly delicious) and eggplant bouillabaisse for lunch. I tried to go on a run Sunday morning, but it was already about 95 degrees at 10am... so it quickly turned into a long walk with iced coffee. That segued into some time reading the Jonathan Franzen book, The Discomfort Zone by the pool. And a sunburn that I wore to an evening in jail for First Appearances.

Suntans and Batman

Strange Day

Some time in jail, a hostile client, one with the most amazing name which for confidentiality sake I can't divulge... and one of the other law clerks here died this morning. Which makes for a strange feeling day. I am going to sleep a lot tonight.

Vacay!

I am in the airport, about to take a mini-break. A long weekend away from the Orleans Parish Sheriffs and crazy judges and miserable clients and all of that hotness and absurdity and inhumanity. My boyfriend and I are meeting my wife and her husband and our communal son (godson, kindnessson, real son, potayto, potahto) and family and friends for a weekend at the lake. I am excited and ready to be very happy.

Some thing else that recently made me very happy is this:

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Happy Belated Birthday, America.

I had a couple of blog subject I'd thought about. Driving along St. Charles the other night with a song playing where "New Orleans" was pronounced in that way that it rhymed with the rest of the words, "land of my dreams." Thursday night I met one of the Orleans Parish DAs at a bar. An article I saw about a kid getting in trouble for selling his vote on Ebay and someone quoted in it talking about how during prohibition, it was very common to sell ones vote for booze.
But the topic of this one is how scared I am getting about Barack Obama. Faith -based initiatives? No Child Left Behind? And now, Abortion?? Say it ain't so, Barry!
:-(

What the Eff?

I was at work for 13 hours yesterday, about 8 of those in magistrate court. One of the PD lawyers was held in contempt after she was appointed to someone on the spot and ordered to hold the trial right then. I left at 9pm, went directly to drink an enormous fruity fishbowl called a "mambo," went home and discovered I have On Demand. You win some, you lose some.

Levee Ride

I went for my first bike ride in New Orleans today. It was 91 degrees, I was out for about an hour and came back wondering if I was dead. BUT, it was very nice. There is a bike path that runs along the top of the levee along the river. The New Orleans streets are so shitty and pot-holes and full of clinically insane drivers... that riding on the street is stressful and rather slow. So it was great to get up there and just ride, and not even have to stop. This city also doesn't really maintain public anything-- parks are threadbare and scary and obviously we know about silly things like schools and hospitals. But it was great to be on a rather nice road, ride along the river and explore. I passed countless bullhorns, elevated houses along the river, ports, families out riding.

On my first trip here, a speaker referred to the need to return to ones roots, especially those who "grew up drinking the water of the Mississippi." Well, I was also raised drinking Mississippi water... although long before it made its way all the way through the country. And I've been to the mouth of the Mississippi and grew up riding my bike along the very same river, 1200 miles north. So I had a very nice time, riding along, sweating profusely and thinking about all this and more.

This Evening

In a great cultural experience, I went to the movies. I saw Get Smart in Harahan, LA. And I bought a daquiri at the snack bar and drank it during the movie-- the greatest movie innovation since sour cream & onion pringles instead of sugared popcorn of the Chilean cinematic experience. The movie was "eh." But the first half sure was funnier than the second half when the sugar and booze wore off.

Speaking of cultural experiences, watching the movie tonight was a lot like watching movies in another country. At certain points, I wasn't sure Lindsey and I were watching the same one everyone else was (and no, I don't think it was all the daquiris.) Like they laughed at puke and people falling down and the few genuinely funny lines, we cracked up and they were silent.

It was all in all a very nice night. I was supposed to do this, but it started raining like crazy at 4pm. So instead I went to an Obama party at a bar, then Thai food and then this weird movie experience. Very enjoyable. Just like last night, actually, but hold the upsetting ignorance.

The Rope

Today I went to magistrate court, like usual. I talked to some parents of two cousins, a boy and a girl, who are both in college. And were arrested yesterday on three counts of armed robbery each. The girl is 6 months pregnant. She got house arrest. The boy has $100,000 bond on each count. These kids fucked up big time... but I had a hard time not being able to make it better to their parents. Another client was about to be extradited on an out of state warrant, he didn't understand why or really what was happening to him. At one point, he mouthed to me, "help me." Maybe it's just that Fridays are tougher. Or maybe the days are equal, I am just out of steam by Friday. I left a little early, realizing I had already been there for 8 hours and would get more done by taking the work home and spending an hour on it over the weekend than continue to sit there and stare at it. A friend from work lives with 3 Tulane undergrads, I went with them to a restaurant here that has 7-cent mojitos until 7 on Fridays. We had 20. Well, 21 since the waitress spilled some on me and brought me a new one. The bill was $1.54. Then we went and ate the "best burgers in the city" at Port of Call. The work friend told me how much of a relief it is to hang out with these girls, because they are easy and fun and not in this crazy world we spend all day in. But they are also 21 and mostly affluent and sheltered and say thing like, "well, if we got arrested, they wouldn't bring us to that jail, would they?" And then she went on and on about how difficult the Katrina semester was for her, because she was at American and didn't even enjoy shopping. All she could think about was the clothes Tulane had boxed up from her dorm, waiting for her back in New Orleans. "Yeah," I said, "that's a real story of Katrina hardship." On the way home, we passed the tent city under the I-10 overpass downtown. One girl remarked how she had never seen it before... despite the years both it and she had been in the city. The one who Katrina took from the desire to shop said that some people choose to live that way. And all they do is sit there all day. And I snapped. No, noone prefers to live in a tent under the highway than in a home. And, actually, most of those people work. She is one of those people that don't seem to notice when you snap and when you are stewing in the front seat thinking they are at best ignorant and a waste of time and at worst a
bad person. Anyway, I don't find that relaxing or a relief at all. I find it frustrating and stressful.
I had been doing this weird immersion thing. Like I literally come home from work all day and watch Law & Order reruns on cable. I have started reading this book, Down in New Orleans by Billy Sothern. Sothern is a NYU law grad in his late 20s/early 30s now who moved down here a couple of years before the storm to do death penalty work. He is still here doing that, I know people who work for and with him. It's very readable, even if not really a break from real life. Some of the commenters on amazon.com talk about the book like it's unnecessary, like it's all been said before and like he lays it on too thick. If the New Orleans temporary residents I was with tonight are any indication, this isn't true at all. Plus, a local book by a death penalty lawyer my age has lots of good bar and restaurant ideas...

Cable Thoughts

In this weird new temporary life, I have some things I don't have in real life. Like a pool and cable. Here are some things about the cable:

-Cox cable apparently has a monopoly here (I got a pedicure today after first appearances and the ladies in the chairs next to me were complaining about it. At first appearances I met a man who lost a leg in a construction accident. He told me supports himself by doing surveys on the internet. Me: Wow, that's amazing. Him: Yeah, well... it's a lot of of surveys. What did I say about every thing that happens being bizarre and interesting...?) and they play an ad where there is someone checking out at the grocery. The clerk scans bread, $1.50. Milk, $1.60. Coffee, $4.69, etc. And then the clerk says, "ok, that'll be $23.50." And the customer just walks away. So the clerk turns to the next person and says, "ok, that will be $23.50 extra." The point is supposed to be that if one person steals cable, everyone else's bill goes up. I guess we are supposed to start reporting our neighbors or something. Since I am not paying for my cable (not stolen, just comes with the place) all I do is marvel at how cheap all the food is. I paid almost $4 for a loaf of bread today!

-The Real World: Hollywood is now 4 women and 3 men. More interestingly, there are three white people and three black people. This seems unprecedented in RW history. There's nothing really more to that, but it's interesting.

-Why do they play 3 Law and Orders at a time all week and barely any on the weekend? Seriously, what am I supposed to watch. Apparently the answer to that is "Just Friends."

Sorry

I am a bad blogger, a bad phone caller, a bad emailer lately. So many things happen every day, it's really very tiring. I could probably just blog each day's events and it would be interesting to read about. Today was a day that peoples' situations really got to me. I was driving home, thinking about the situations people are in, what happens to them (ok, not even people in general, but my clients in this system) and realized that my heart gets broken, like, 16 times per day. I feel well-prepared and the legal part is fine, the human suffering part really overwhelmed me today. I feel a little like a medic in a war zone, seeing terrible things constantly and people on the worst day of their lives. It's dramatic, but also true. For some reason one of our newer clients, who offered a police officer oral sex for $20, really got to me. I mean, the state of this woman's life that she needs that $20 so badly... that was the #13 heartbreak today.
Anyway, in typical legal and New Orleans fashion, I dealt with this all by getting drunk. I went to a fantastic and scary bar near the office where every beer is $1 and then out and about... including walking around the french quarter and the marigny drinking a six pack of miller lite out of plastic cups. And watching a scene from a new Carmen Electra movie be shot. It is ingeniously entitled "Mardi Gras."

The dialogue I saw went like this:
An ugly white guy and a pretty black girl standing in a "mardi gras" crowd full of families. A brass band is passing playing "when the saints go marching in."

Him: When are we going to get back to Mardi Gras?
Her: This IS Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras isn't just Girls Gone Wild. It's more than tits and beads, it's a celebrate of our city, of our people. That man right there (the grand marshall) has been doing this for over 40 years! C'mon, show me what you've got!

And then he fat-guy comedically dances off scene, following the grand marshall.

Needless to say, I felt nauseated and it looks like a hit.

It's Super!

Scary Morning

I woke up this morning at about 8 to a huge thunder and lightning storm. So this is unusual for the morning, most anywhere, right? I had had big plans for the morning, since I have to go in to do first appearances this afternoon. I wanted to go grocery shopping and various other errands. So the storm went on until about 10:30 and finally stopped. I got dressed and hit the road. Things were wet and saturated, but I headed west to the next parish over for some big box shopping. Once I got over to this shopping area, the water started to get deeper and deeper. There were tons of cars and people pulled into the center divider. I didn't have my cell phone or know exactly where I was. Everything was going very slowly and eventually the water was about halfway up the door of the truck. It seemed to be getting deeper as I went, the lanes going the other way were obviously deeper than where I was... but I least I knew it got better going that way. So I turned around and spent 5-10 minutes terrified the truck would eventually just quit. I could hear water coming in somewhere.... fuck fuck fuck fuck. I could see the road going up over an overpass, so I just kept going, whimpering "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...."

The story ends with me going to a grocery store closer to home, noticing that the bed of the truck had, in fact, gotten wet... and while I know flooding has been serious up north, too... learning an important lesson about not fucking with water here in New Orleans. You can read about it here.

Day 4

Is over. There are so many things that are disturbing about the way that things work down here, it would be hard to list them comprehensively. So I'll start randomly. No lawyers or law clerks have been allowed to see their clients at the House of Detention for the past two days because they are filming a Jim Carrey movie inside it. I saw 51 people get their "first appearance" this morning (where the judge determines whether there is probable cause to hold them and what their bond will be) in about an hour and half. That's three minutes per person... except the judge was on his cell phone much of the time.

The state has 45 days to decide whether to charge a misdemeanor and 60 days for a felony. In Louisiana, a felony is anything punishable by 6 months or more. In federal criminal law, and I believe every other state, a felony is one year or longer. They are charging second possession of marijuanas as felonies. This means the second time someone is caught with a joint, they can be held for two months before charges are even filed. This also means that getting arrested, even if charges aren't eventually brought, causes many people to lose their jobs, house, visitation with children. One man I talked to today was most concerned that his cat locked in his apartment and his girlfriend was in Las Vegas.

Of the 51 people this morning, 50 were black and one was Latino. It's really bizarre and not any less shocking than anyone would expect. More shocking because I am working with some amazing attorneys who are smart and dedicated and in completely over their heads, trying to do right in a system with so many wrongs.

Things from Today that Indicate We Are Not in Wisconsin Anymore

1. You must be indicted by a grand jury if your offense is punishable by life in prison or DEATH.

2. The jury must agree 10/12 to acquit or convict if your sentence can include HARD LABOR.

3.

New Orleans, Summer 08

I am sitting in my borrowed apartment in New Orleans, listening to Law & Order: SVU on the tv behind me. I just finished a large bowl of gazpacho I made from purchases at Whole Foods this afternoon. It is delicious. I got in yesterday, driving through the night with my very sweet and helpful boyfriend who drove down with me. My mom got anxious and Charlie got a long weekend drive and a flight back to Madison. We hit the road after work time on Friday and pushed through the night, arriving at about 11am on Saturday. Then we slept. And had dinner. And watched tv. And slept more. And ate again. And went to the airport. I am lucky.

And I start work tomorrow. The first day we meet for Orientation not at the office, but I think I can take the streetcar to the office when the time comes, which is great.

Ok, updates to come, back to L & O.

Politico

I have a couple of other blog postings in the hopper, but I am in Day 4 of listening to public radio while packing... and this is driving me nuts.

What the hell is wrong with Hillary supporters?!!? (in general, of course some are sensible, like my wife)

Women keep calling in and saying they are Hillary supporters and will now vote for McCain. WTF? Why were you supporting Hillary in the first place? It obviously wasn't to avoid war in Iran, to exit the war in Iraq, for reproductive rights or to protect the environment. Clearly you weren't backing her for universal health care and money for schools and to take care of our most vulnerable neighbors and to rescue us from the past 7 years of bad decisions. This isn't 2000! I, too, thought we had the luxury to pick and choose and poo poo the candidate who wasn't exactly what we were looking for. Al Gore... meh. And then we saw how bad it could get. And then we got John Kerry and he still wasn't something to write home about, but he was something. Now we do have someone to write home about. We have the first African-American nominee of a mainstream party. And a man people are excited about and who stands for something and stands for something very different than what we have and what McCain offers more of. I think this whackos need to take a hard look at themselves, why they made the choice they did in Hillary and what kind of country they want to live in.

And then, like all of us, they need to start working like hell to make it a reality.

Two Things from the Drive to Mpls/St.Paul

1. Pleasehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif, for everything holy, may I never be the woman in the gas station asking her husband if he used the bathroom. And then, if I am, and he says he did not, let me never ask an adult man whether he is sure he shouldn't go here since we're getting back in the car... I do feel myself nagging sometimes and occasionally hear the voices of other people (some of whom I am related to) coming out of my own mouth. I try to stop. Or at least be sneaky so it doesn't sound like nagging. But jesus christ, I want nothing to do with a man who can't keep track of his own urination needs. And no one wants anything to do with a whiny crazy lady who devotes her energy to keeping track of when other adults have or should have peed.

2. How cool is it that after realizing I forgot to get a prescription refilled in Madison, I could googletext "Walgreens 55102," get the number, call them from Tomah and pick it up as a roll into town? The answer, of course, is very cool.

Since I Last Wrote

I turned 27, traveled from New York to Middletown to Madison to Chicago to Milwaukee and back to Madison, and now to St. Paul. I also got reunited and had a lot of fun. The reunion deserves much more blogging, although since I usually forget to when I say I will, maybe I should mini-discuss it. Obama spoke, we drank a lot, it was very much like being in college with all of the good and a little of the bad that college involved. Everyone reverted to 19, we shotgunned beers, befriended some new people and avoided some of the same people. I was extremely sunburnt and burnt out by the end, couldn't wait to get out of there, couldn't handle the "move-out-day" like good-byes. It was really like a microcosm of college. Brilliant and terrible. But mostly brilliant. I can't wait for the next one.

Update

The blisters have receded. Apparently, the best antidote to 3rd degree alcohol/birthday related burns are non-stop eating, drinking and good friends. And non-stop shitty NYC rain seems to help, too. Probably the mani/pedi didn't hurt. Even if the mani/pedi central american woman thought I had genital warts on my hand.

I just had my second birthday party, it was fun. Vacation in Brooklyn is also fun. It was fun to see a wide assortment of people and remember the community I used to have/remember people will still come out on a Tuesday night to say celebrate (including an uplifting number from the right sidebar.) I am very lucky. And am still not 27!!!

Good Idea/Bad Idea?

Is it a good or bad sign to wake up from your 27th birthday party with hands that look like this:



And what if the blistering were the result of a "flaming dr. pepper" gone awry? It was a very fun party and now I am laundering and packing for the next phase of the bender.

UMMMMMM...

I am not sure if the public knows about this (how could they, since I just discovered it!)

BUT, about 30 episodes each of Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place and Family Ties (and even shit like Star Wars, The Love Boat, Twin Peaks and McGyver) are available on CBS.com, gratis. Click here and enjoy your past.

Last night I watched teh 90210 pilot. You know, when Brandon, Brenda and Brandon's mullet move from Minneapolis to Beverly Hills. I have to say, the Walshes looked A LOT cooler in third grade.

Could Have Been Hilarious

I am sitting in the grass outside of the law, having just completed my Evidence exam. And there are all these kids being taken on tours of the University. Kid-kids, like approximately 7 or 8 years old. And they stop in front of the law school and their tour guide tells them, this is the law school, this is where we train the lawyers. "Does anyone know what a lawyer does?" So this could have been really funny and cute... but instead the kids says kind of boring (but uplifting things) like, "they fix things" and "they go to court when people have to go to court." Then the tour guide tells them that the law library is the quietest library IN THE WORLD and that when you go in, you have to open your bag and give the librarians your computer and cell phone. This is a lie. He says this is because when you're training to be a lawyer, you have to read very difficult things and can't be distracted. I did not show him the scrabulous game I was working on. He then told them that the law school is sinking into the hill and that the glass structure in the middle of it is what keeps it afloat. I had never heard this before, but for good measure, I plan to stay away from the building until August.

And another thing

The Tonight Show comes on at like 10:30 in the midwest. Which is something I haven't re-gotten used to. I hear the music and think... "fuck.......!" Although it's kind of like how my alarm clock is set half an hour fast, it's a nice surprise once I realize the real time. Cracking up? Me? Maybe.

Recent Highlights

Celebrating Cinco de mayo with Margs and Guac, courtesy of my current-professor-future-supervisor lady. Continuing to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with beer and then more beer at a place that offered $1 Wisconsin beer special. Studying Evidence some more, getting really, really bored. Eating 3.5 feet of Subway veggie patty sandwiches in the past week. Riding my awesome new bike around Lake Monona and continuing to love it. Also getting a little sun in the process. Also sweating out some of the aforementioned beers and veggie patties. I think that's about it. Exam on Friday, then just some bitty papers.

Oh, and today I also won tickets to the show I was going to on Friday anyway and a cash award for criminal law. This continues to be ridiculous. But also feels nice.

Proof the Baby Jesus Loves Me... And is a Socialist.

So the thing about states like Wisconsin (Minnesota USED to be much more this way)... is they love poor people. Ok, no one in America really LOVES poor people. But these socialist-leaning states provide a lot more social services-- health care, housing and so on than do many others. Taxes are higher, yes. But people value libraries and parks and childhood nutrition. The campaign in Minnesota a few years back sums it up perfectly, "Happy to Pay for a Better Minnesota." Raise my taxes, please, and give me schools and park board sports for my kids. Now, lucky for me, taxes are for people who make money.* In Wisconsin there is this homestead credit for renters. You file for this with your state taxes and it's supposed to give some money back to low-income renters. Great, awesome. Even if I didn't qualify, I would love this idea. Well, I do qualify. Heck, I paid $6000 more in rent last year than I earned (thank you, Uncle Sam.) So I file for it... and get $1150 back. Um, whoah. Awesome. This further relieves the stress of paying more or less for two apartments this summer in an unpaid internship AND... well... allowed me today to buy a new bike off craigslist. She is so beautiful. And so fast and fun and who ever knew how crappy my old bike was until she came along. She is this one, although the 2005 model. And bright red. Ooh la la. She also came to me from a woman in Monroe, WI with both a "ten commandments" and a Ron Paul sign in her front yard. An the most incredible added bonus? Upon getting her home, I found this:


Yes, that's right, the metallic baby jesus rides with me. And so I think I am totally converted... Obviously the baby jesus created the Wisconsin Homestead Credit so that I could get a new bike and see how much faster and cooler I could ride with him on my side. My left side, to be precise. So, baby jesus... THANKS!

Me & Bill

Bill's in the lower left, obvi. I'm in the upper right. We're, like, practically touching.

News

It is April 28, 2008. And it snowing, snowing hard, in Madison, WI. Unfortunately, I wore flip flops to school... so it remains unclear how I will get home.

At What Point & Thankful

The undergrad class continues to be a font of bizarre, boring and amusing things. I can't share all of them for fear my classmates will find my blog and I'll get the reputation of "old bitch." Assuming that is not already my nickname, of course. But there are a couple of things...
1. Say you're a white male in your late 20s with a ponytail and you work with a central american solidarity organization in Madison, Wisconsin. And say your name is Steve. Is it ever acceptable to introduce yourself to other Americans as "Esteban"? I don't think so. And the pony tail has a lot to do with my feelings on the matter. I guess I will never be confronted with such an issue, with a name that doesn't change in Spanish. Carlos? Pedro? A million years ago in high school, there was a Molly who swore her Spanish name was Maruja. Some things don't translate.

2. This afternoon, I appreciated my delicate and overpriced college experience when a girl was standing in front of the class talking about the gender binary and heteronormative language and suggested there is an intersection between race and gender. And her classmates totally didn't get it and spent a lot of time whispering and snickering. Poor girl. Some things still don't translate.

Remember when my mom thought I coined the term heteronormative? Well, she may still think that...

26.91 Years Old

It's a month until my birthday, so I thought now would be a good time to list all of the things I want. I am American, after all. I like to think that some day I will have money (I learned this morning I have $147 in my checking account... good thing I got half of my summer stipend early.)
1. A road bike that doesn't suck. Preferably with fully operational brakes and able to support a rack on the back. These are things the current bike lacks.

2. A Japanese 4 door hatch-back with working airconditioning, fewer than 10 years old and with under 100,000 miles. This is in contrast to the my 17 year old 181,000 mi, no A/C stallion.

3. A Mandolin. And instructional materials to acquire the ability to play this mandolin.

4. An iPhone. Just because.

5. New clothes from Old Navy for cheapass gulf coast casual summer wear.

6. 36 hours in a day.

7. More points in Pet Pupz, the Facebook Application that is sweeping the nation. So that I can get Steve the Chow Chow a virtual pet fried, possibly Margaret the Border Collie.

8. Not a new phone... since I just resurrected mine with a hair dryer!

Smartest Person You Know

Or not. I dropped my phone in the toilet last night... a replacement should be coming Friday. Soooo... sorry about that. The replacement is the slightly newer version of the same phone (score!) but only comes in black instead of the mint green I have been enjoying since August (bummer.) Oh well.

Upcoming Professional

After spending some quality writing a motion about a fake case. And outlining a cross-examination of a fake cop in the fake case, I thought I should reward myself by bringing my leftover giftcards to the sale rack at the Gap. And so I did. I did vigilante pants shopping and walked away with two pairs of pants suitable for work that fit just fine and came off the sale rack. This is, of course, a raging success. But I also tried on a bunch of white shirts, some of which fit fine... but were all kind of translucent. On top of their see-through nature, I was also trying them on with a black bra, so the effect was particularly Carrie Bradshaw Business Casual. Now, this presents a problem for someone like me. I am not dressing demurely sexy business casual in order to catch the eye of the cute senior associate one of the late nights we spend pouring over discovery boxes.... nope, I am wearing these clothes to prison. Or, in the alternative, to jail and court. This is not the time to be demurely sexy. Or sexy. Or translucent.
So, I didn't get any shirts. But I did kind of like that whole Carrie Bradshaw part.

Lame

I have been so lame this week, knocked on my butt by a terrible disease. I have left the house for a total of 2.5 hours since Sunday... and have spent most of the rest of the time sleeping, doing a little LITTLE work and watching DVDs. Completely pathetic. Internet, please have pity on me. Next entry, more uplifting-- I swear.