Wiper Kids

Wiper Kids from Sarah Erlinder on Vimeo.

The Other Side!

Here I am, on the other side of the bar. Man, it feels really awesome. I've never studied for something for three months, been tested for two full days and lived to tell about it. But now I have and here I am. I never want to do it again and will probably spend at least a moment of each day between now and early May thinking about/hoping for good results. They tested Secured Transactions for the first time in over twenty years. Historical!

I had some misadventures getting down to Phoenix, which at the time seemed incredibly major and interesting. My story of trial, tribulation and triumph was probably going to be a Lifetime original movie. Turns out, it's not really interesting or all that dramatic. Basically, the windshield wiper transmission (there is such a thing...?) needs to be replaced (for $450...) and after the high drama, I finished the trek to Phoenix, courtesy of Rain-X and a really nice mechanic outside of Camp Verde, AZ.

Since returning home on Thursday, I've started in on the list of things I haven't been doing for 3 months a.k.a. My "Bar Trip."

Clean Bathroom!


Paint Bathroom (unclear if this marigold, excuse me "squash" counts as the "orange room")


Painted the guest room! Liquid Blue!Got my nails did (photo obviously post-guestroom painting.) "Chop-stick it to me." So awesome the woman next to me changed her mind from some purple and totally copied me! And then apologized for looking at my feet, which I found strange and unnecessary.

And a massage (not pictured)! And now you owe me an apology for looking at my feet.

And also, a real heartfelt thank you. I can't really explain how much it meant in the last few days pre-bar to get so many well wishes and notes. It's a little silly and sappy but it really made a difference in my mental state, also something I've never really experienced before. I mean, good wishes and good luck are always nice, but this time, as I was cresting the 3rd floor of the Phoenix Convention Center on the escalator, holding my laptop and bag of pens so tight I couldn't feel my fingers... well, I felt like I had a small army/cheering section/booster club behind me. Turns out it was just some sweaty ASU Law 09 grad. Well, him AND the small army. But seriously, it was really nice. So, thank you.

3 Good Things

First, this brought me great joy today. May I present, Gus Being Awesome:


Second, after 19 years of school, this is hopefully the last one of these I'll ever need to assemble...


Third, sometimes love is "I love you, you've got this, you're going to do great." And sometimes love is, "I bought you a bottle and a box in case you wanted to bring wine to Phoenix but forget a corkscrew."


Onwards and upwards, see you on the other side!!

Opposites Attract?

May I present:

Charlie's Bar Flash Cards:



And.... mine:

Another tidbit

Just to include you in this riveting process of studying for the bar:

Arizona's rape law does not allow a person to consent to sex for some
standard reasons- the victim is a child, developmentally disabled,
etc.... But also: a person cannot consent to sex if they have been
tricked into thinking the other person IS THEIR SPOUSE.

Once the dust clears, I'd really like to read the case that created
that rule.

Kristina guessed it had something to do with twins... When I figure it
out, I'll share.

2 weeks from tomorrow, can I keep my hand attached until then?

#5 should say, "violation of knock & announce." That was the best I could do. I mean, after #1's Mirarrararda rights.

Doors!

Remember when my dad came to visit and bought us doors? Here they are, almost completely installed! This post would be more compelling with "before" pictures, but basically the side door was solid wood and the front door was completely glass (which is creepy, everyone driving or walking by can see in the front door? ick.) Oh, and they were installed so shittily/the wood around them had rotted and so there were these big gaps where you could see to outside around the doors. No good. Plus, we only had one house key-- now we have new locks, new keys, new doors! These doors are steel, even, so the bad guys can bring them battering rams. Bring it, bad guys! These will serve as good "before" pictures once we paint them away from their antiseptic white, too.

There's only light slipping through this one because it's not closed all the way... because I ran outside in the snow to take the picture. Oh yeah, it's snowing again!

That's so Raven

Tiredness and stress, I wish you were to blame. But, alas, I am able to transition the conversation with someone capable of hiring me from my career ambitions to the penalties for offering oral sex in Louisiana all by myself.

That's awkward.

No, wait-- that's so Raven!

Especially if Raven is a super-awkward weirdo.

Learning about Presumptions

a. Legitimacy
Every person is presumed to be legitimate.

d. Death from Absence
If a person is inexplicably absent for a continuous period of seven years and he has not been heard from, he is presumed dead.

f. Chastity.
Every person is presumed chaste and virtuous.

The lesson? The law is weird.

Haitian Beef

All of these companies that are attaching themselves to Haiti relief are really starting to irritate me. No, Hyatt, I don’t want to donate my rewards points to Haiti. I want you to donate your profits to Haiti and I will donate my points to someplace with hotels for people in stay in! Chase, although it’s our money anyway (as my astute junior cultural anthropology-major hairdresser pointed out), make the donation yourself. “HELP HAITI NOW” on the Avon catalog looks opportunistic and silly to me. And I think lends to fatigue over the whole thing. Haiti doesn't need a signature color of liptick... it needs short and long-term just aid and recovery.

It’s similar to how my work sends around requests for donations of leave. I mean, I get that we’re in a budget crisis and all… but the right thing to do is have more liberal leave policies, not unpaid FMLA time, and let the rest of us keep our vacation days. Or when the airlines want you to donate your frequent flier miles to bring kids with cancer to the hospital or Disney World or whatever. Um, why don’t you use your airlines to do that and not take credit for a program that sounds charitable but really just saves the company money. Or gives them a good name and lets them break even.

Maybe I just want to keep my Hyatt rewards and frequent flier miles and am letting my cynicism get the better of me. Or maybe I'm just mad I don't have a signature shade of lipstick (wait until 200 years after I hold my successful slave rebellion and then am decimated by an earthquake made worse by my long-term underdevelopment caused by global colonial powers, then Scarlet Sarah will be all the rage)… but this is my beef for the day.

Dogs

I love these guys. A lot. Even when they're so rambunctious the
picture is blurry. Or when they're snoring, like now. Or when they
join in our rendition of Death Cab's "sound of settling" by both
howling along with "ba-baaaaa this is the sound of Aberdeen. And Gus!
This is the sound of Aberdeen!" on the way home from the grocery
store. In fact, that made my Sunday. Or when Aberdeen warms my feet
and Gus refuses to get on the bed, because he's not allowed, but I
invite him anyway. These are good dogs.

Promises, Promises

I promised, to myself and to you, that I wouldn’t complain about bar preparations very much here. And I think I’ve pretty much stuck to that, but my first real bar-related melt-down last night is a good reason to make a rare exception. I was upset in a way that only a tremendous amount of stress and a couple glasses of Sunday night wine can make a person. I had been pretty blasé about the bar, until I started studying. Out of the hundreds of people I know who have taken bar exams (aside from kooky ones like Louisiana) only a handful haven’t passed the first time. Even counting Louisiana it’s a large handful. Arizona isn’t considered particularly easy or particularly hard-- 84% of first-time test-takers pass. The rate is significantly lower overall in February test administrations, but that’s because of the way higher number of re-takers. I went to a good law school and I am not a moron. I know all of this. Yes, I’ve never been in the bottom 16% of anything (I’d say I’ve never failed anything, but those who have been with me for long enough may remember the 12th grade post-college admittance dance class debacle. Fun fact.) I’ve never failed anything I’ve attended, how about that?
The thing is… neither have most people who don’t pass bar exams. The people I know who haven't passed... well, some of them are morons, but some of them are great people who I greatly respect. The opposite of moron!
These truths (and the appropriate and appreciated reassurances from the one I sob next to) don’t do a lot for the blind fear I am entering. Not only would I be disappointed in myself and frustrated by the approximately $5k I've sunk into this whole stupid episode… but I have become pretty profoundly unhappy in my current situation and the thought of continuing the way I am until October (instead of May or even July) is enough on its own to make me cry.
I am grateful to be employed and really, really like getting paid regularly (little as it may be…) And this situation continues to be about as good as it can be seeing as I chose to move where I am not licensed (for the Constitutionally-inclined, a friend on his upcoming move from IL to TX, “The irony of studying article IV privileges and immunities for the multi-state AGAIN because I can't change states and stay in my profession without jumping through multiple flaming hoops lit with hundred dollar bills from my wallet is not lost on me.”) Again, the difference between what I know and how I feel. I have a lot of things going really great. Charlie’s work situation is not ideal, but his work itself is great and we can bide some time until he can work within commuting distance from our house. Our house! That’s great. The dogs are awesome. Yes, there is so much good, but goddamn it, I want a career! I want to do things I am excited about and be a professional and not be the bottom rung of a situation very similar to the one I went to law school to escape. I hate when people talk about deserving things and being “entitled” to things is for jerks… but these are things I really want, have put the time and work into and have been very patient (I think) in waiting for them to happen.
The bar is three weeks from tomorrow. I am going to continue trying to conquer the extreme fear of “what if” and soldier on through. There is so much material… But, in 3 weeks, 2 days and 9 hours, I am going to drink soooo much more wine. And probably cry again. But hopefully in a good way.