It's over. Kind of a relief. Although we got a lot more X-mas decor that I put up after shopping extreme clearance on December 26th. Christmas was really nice, though. We cooked a ham (have you done that? turns out baking a regular ham is tasty and not salty like the processed ones and takes a long time.) We had a variation of a Swedish smorgasbord. We went to the Grand Canyon on Christmas Eve, we were there with all the shintos and hindus and other Christmas rejects. My dad and his wife were here, we did a bunch of things I'd wanted to do with them, mostly involved eating different places. Like here and here.
It was nice not to travel for once.
It was nice to have them here and also kind of nice when they left Saturday afternoon and we went to True Grit and had another night and day of holiday weekend left. In all a perfectly lovely southwestern Christmas, it was even a white one (no, not an SB1070 joke) with the reasonable amount of snow we got on the 22nd.
Even though I am among the Christmas rejects, I was/am still grateful for the opportunity to spend time with people (and dogs) I love. Another highlight is that I ate way, way too many meatballs and have been practically mainlining broccoli and green pepper strips while I'm at work this week to try to compensate. Mmmm. Meatballs.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
DADT
"Our friend Maggie bought this wallet at a vintage store, and inside found a photo of the previous owner, up front, and then another, of him posing affectionately with another soldier, hidden in the back, behind a panel in the wallet.
Here's to our soldiers never having to hide who they love again."
from here.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Badass
I've spent this week in Phoenix, ostensibly learning how to do the job I already have been doing since September. It's been really helpful and I've been so glad I'm here. I think, because if you care about something and you're new at it... You want someone to tell you what to do. How to do it best. Like most things, there are no black and white answers. I've learned a lot of pointers and, thankfully, haven't learned I've messed up anyones life too bad so far. I was talking to Charlie tonight and at some point he said "whoa, wow! You're so excited." And I was. And I am.
I love my job because I get to feel totally badass at least once a day. And I care like shit about what I'm doing. Thats why I am 1. So fortunate and in such a good position for me and 2. Hope so much I never lose that feeling. The law is adversarial and basically, I almost never win. BUT I do win every time the government isn't able to do whatever the hell they want in a given situation.
It starts with this adrenaline rush of righteous indignation. Things I am indignant about on others' behalf which I would probably totally let slide if it were me... But the rush takes over and all of the sudden, my client is out of jail when the state finds it easier for them to be in.
It's this funny kind of relationship with the clients, because I am deeply invested in them, but they know very little about me. Last week we were working out when a blood test was going to happen and I told my client, rather officially, that I wanted to be present. He said, "oh yeah, I want you to be there," and there was that days' badass moment... Because OMG, I don't have a gun, I have very little real power- but he has so much less, and I'm his knight in shining armor. Practically, it is completely fair to ask what the hell am I going to do at the blood test and what is the point... but, I'm the one on his side, I'm his lawyer and his well-being is my job. It's humbling and awesome and this is surely not my last post about my job but one in a long potential string about my badass endeavors.
I love my job because I get to feel totally badass at least once a day. And I care like shit about what I'm doing. Thats why I am 1. So fortunate and in such a good position for me and 2. Hope so much I never lose that feeling. The law is adversarial and basically, I almost never win. BUT I do win every time the government isn't able to do whatever the hell they want in a given situation.
It starts with this adrenaline rush of righteous indignation. Things I am indignant about on others' behalf which I would probably totally let slide if it were me... But the rush takes over and all of the sudden, my client is out of jail when the state finds it easier for them to be in.
It's this funny kind of relationship with the clients, because I am deeply invested in them, but they know very little about me. Last week we were working out when a blood test was going to happen and I told my client, rather officially, that I wanted to be present. He said, "oh yeah, I want you to be there," and there was that days' badass moment... Because OMG, I don't have a gun, I have very little real power- but he has so much less, and I'm his knight in shining armor. Practically, it is completely fair to ask what the hell am I going to do at the blood test and what is the point... but, I'm the one on his side, I'm his lawyer and his well-being is my job. It's humbling and awesome and this is surely not my last post about my job but one in a long potential string about my badass endeavors.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Dirty 30
So I am turning 30 in a little under 6 months. I want to do something special, something 30-worthy, but I am kind of drawing a blank. I'll be with many of my friends shortly after the big 3-0 at Julah/Nolia's wedding in June. And having a party in Flagstaff, while surely better attended than it would have last year, I am still afraid would be more depressing than exciting and maybe make me rewind back to 29 in protest.
So, I need ideas. Special experiences or trips. One idea is to plan a fun warm weather trip for next fall/winter and do something smaller in May. One idea for that is a spa weekend, maybe in Sedona or Phoenix. But I want more ideas.
In general, while also feeling a general sense of disbelief, I am pretty psyched about my 30s. My 20s were, on balance, wearing rose-colored glasses and totally in retrospect-- pretty rad. It's a little like I felt when I was turning 23. I turned 22 the weekend we graduated from college. By the time a year had gone by, I felt like so much had happened and so many changes had occurred I deserved some external marker-- like being a different age.
When I turned twenty I was in Japan with my dad and his wife, I was toasted by the Japanese Communist Party leader and ate a lot of sushi. Then I lived in Boston over the summer and ate ice cream every day and walked miles to the library to check my email twice a week. Then there was September 11 and we lived in the In-town and I lived in Minnesota for a couple of months and then I went abroad and then I turned 21 in Buenos Aires. I also ate a lot of sushi then. Anyway, that was a long time ago. I am still friends with basically all my friends from then. It makes all these background checks easier. Smiley face. But I am pretty different, but also not. I am ready for a new decade to recognize it.
Now, back to the challenge, how to commemorate it?!?
So, I need ideas. Special experiences or trips. One idea is to plan a fun warm weather trip for next fall/winter and do something smaller in May. One idea for that is a spa weekend, maybe in Sedona or Phoenix. But I want more ideas.
In general, while also feeling a general sense of disbelief, I am pretty psyched about my 30s. My 20s were, on balance, wearing rose-colored glasses and totally in retrospect-- pretty rad. It's a little like I felt when I was turning 23. I turned 22 the weekend we graduated from college. By the time a year had gone by, I felt like so much had happened and so many changes had occurred I deserved some external marker-- like being a different age.
When I turned twenty I was in Japan with my dad and his wife, I was toasted by the Japanese Communist Party leader and ate a lot of sushi. Then I lived in Boston over the summer and ate ice cream every day and walked miles to the library to check my email twice a week. Then there was September 11 and we lived in the In-town and I lived in Minnesota for a couple of months and then I went abroad and then I turned 21 in Buenos Aires. I also ate a lot of sushi then. Anyway, that was a long time ago. I am still friends with basically all my friends from then. It makes all these background checks easier. Smiley face. But I am pretty different, but also not. I am ready for a new decade to recognize it.
Now, back to the challenge, how to commemorate it?!?
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Official
I think a new way of talking has people saying, "It's official, I'm ____" or "I'm officially ______." It happens a lot on facebook, but other places, too. It's the new "I feel like _____." And once you start noticing it, it will slowly drive you crazy.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Life is Weird
It is. I almost want to make an "it gets better" video for early and mid-twenty-somethings. Because I feel like it does and no one tells you and I'm there and it's so much better than it was. But I was just looking at pictures of someone's trip to New York on facebook. And whenever I do that, I get a little sad.
I get sad because I love New York. I do. And I think of the 2003-2006 period when I lived there and the friends and times and experiences that happened there and then. Now I love going there and being there and have a connection to it, maybe a little like I feel with New Orleans also, where it feels like the place/life I could have lived and therefore it will always be a little bit "home." But then there's the weird thing about adulthood... I feel like I've realized that while I love and respect New York... it's not the right place for me. I proved I could make it there, but then chose not to. And that's a "right for me" decision... the things I need from the life I want don't have to happen there. But they could. And that's the crazy thing. I don't think it's particularly interesting or admirable, but I've moved around a lot in the past ten years. East Coast to midwest to southwest. And here's the thing... there's a lot of places I could be and could be happy. Changing homes so often means both I carry my home with me, but also that lots of places are a little bit "home."
I remember talking to high school seniors applying to Wesleyan--both in Madison and here in Flagstaff, and I'd remind them that something like 96% of people love college (of course this was meant as encouragement if they didn't get into their top choices.) Yes, that's not everyone, but of those 96% people... do they love it because somehow they selected the right college for them? No. College is awesome. They loved it because it's awesome. Of course, if everyone went to Wesleyan, it would be 100%, but that would destroys the specialwes. Anyway. My point is the weirdness of life and how there are so many different paths and directions but how so many of them to lead good and great things. The other week, Erin remarked something like that it's so weird that I'm a public defender and I lived in Flagstaff, Arizona. And it is... but for a Minneapolis kid, is it really that much weirder than being an assistant in Manhattan? Not really. A different kind of weird.
And is life in general like college? Well, literally, no. Tragically it is too little like college. But metaphorically, can things be great if you land in variety of different places? Yeah, I think. Of course this does beg the question... if we can do awesome anywhere, why didn't we pick a place closer to people we love? It's the adventure. Or that's what we say. There this on Jezebel last week, about what a dad should teach a daughter... and I like it. Partly because most of things I did learn from my very excellent dad-of-a-daughter but one is probably missing-- landing on your feet. It's a skill. It not a skill learned like changing a tire, but that's part of it. Being self-sufficient and flexible is what I'd like my kids to be... and if it means they successfully build a life in a place none of us anticipated... I think I'd be proud. It's a good sign. Then again, it doesn't matter where it is, I'd be proud and I am proud of a successfully built life anywhere.
I get sad because I love New York. I do. And I think of the 2003-2006 period when I lived there and the friends and times and experiences that happened there and then. Now I love going there and being there and have a connection to it, maybe a little like I feel with New Orleans also, where it feels like the place/life I could have lived and therefore it will always be a little bit "home." But then there's the weird thing about adulthood... I feel like I've realized that while I love and respect New York... it's not the right place for me. I proved I could make it there, but then chose not to. And that's a "right for me" decision... the things I need from the life I want don't have to happen there. But they could. And that's the crazy thing. I don't think it's particularly interesting or admirable, but I've moved around a lot in the past ten years. East Coast to midwest to southwest. And here's the thing... there's a lot of places I could be and could be happy. Changing homes so often means both I carry my home with me, but also that lots of places are a little bit "home."
I remember talking to high school seniors applying to Wesleyan--both in Madison and here in Flagstaff, and I'd remind them that something like 96% of people love college (of course this was meant as encouragement if they didn't get into their top choices.) Yes, that's not everyone, but of those 96% people... do they love it because somehow they selected the right college for them? No. College is awesome. They loved it because it's awesome. Of course, if everyone went to Wesleyan, it would be 100%, but that would destroys the specialwes. Anyway. My point is the weirdness of life and how there are so many different paths and directions but how so many of them to lead good and great things. The other week, Erin remarked something like that it's so weird that I'm a public defender and I lived in Flagstaff, Arizona. And it is... but for a Minneapolis kid, is it really that much weirder than being an assistant in Manhattan? Not really. A different kind of weird.
And is life in general like college? Well, literally, no. Tragically it is too little like college. But metaphorically, can things be great if you land in variety of different places? Yeah, I think. Of course this does beg the question... if we can do awesome anywhere, why didn't we pick a place closer to people we love? It's the adventure. Or that's what we say. There this on Jezebel last week, about what a dad should teach a daughter... and I like it. Partly because most of things I did learn from my very excellent dad-of-a-daughter but one is probably missing-- landing on your feet. It's a skill. It not a skill learned like changing a tire, but that's part of it. Being self-sufficient and flexible is what I'd like my kids to be... and if it means they successfully build a life in a place none of us anticipated... I think I'd be proud. It's a good sign. Then again, it doesn't matter where it is, I'd be proud and I am proud of a successfully built life anywhere.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Recipes!
You may be still slogging through a turkey-hangover and totally grossed out by majority-poultry recipes... but then you can just keep these in mind for 2011. I segued straight from turkey (and red wine) hangover to sick-as-dog holed up in bed. It's awesome. And I've watched some great chick-flicks, like Confessions of a Shopaholic and The Proposal. And I'm not getting better? So weird.
1. Chicken Enchiladas. I've made approximately this recipe a bunch of times now with great success. I sometimes use roasted green chiles instead of tomatillos (depends on what we get from the CSA). I have done it with cooking my own boneless or bone-in chicken (instead of using the deli roasted chicken) and it does just add this other level of complication and time committment. I would also recommend making a whole big tray since even with the deli chicken, its a bit of an ordeal and more satisfying if you can either feed a bunch of people with them or eat them for many meals. They're delicious.
1. Chicken Enchiladas. I've made approximately this recipe a bunch of times now with great success. I sometimes use roasted green chiles instead of tomatillos (depends on what we get from the CSA). I have done it with cooking my own boneless or bone-in chicken (instead of using the deli roasted chicken) and it does just add this other level of complication and time committment. I would also recommend making a whole big tray since even with the deli chicken, its a bit of an ordeal and more satisfying if you can either feed a bunch of people with them or eat them for many meals. They're delicious.
2. Chicken Tagine. This one is courtesy of the Plaitkens. But I also made it and can vouch for its ultimate deliciousness. I just somewhat cooked the chicken in a pot before adding it to the other ingredients. The microwaving situation skeeved me out, the comments seem to agree.
3. Parmesan & Thyme Crackers. I haven't actually made these, but I have eaten them. Check out the recipe and see why they're sooo good.
1 stick unsalted butter at room temperature
4 oz grated parmesan (about 1 cup)
1 tsp minced thyme
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
Cream all ingredients together, roll into a ball and then a log and wrap in plastic. Refrigerate for at least 30 min. but up to 4 days. When ready, cut into 3/8 inch rounds and bake for 22 minutes on parchment paper at 350 degrees.
3. Parmesan & Thyme Crackers. I haven't actually made these, but I have eaten them. Check out the recipe and see why they're sooo good.
1 stick unsalted butter at room temperature
4 oz grated parmesan (about 1 cup)
1 tsp minced thyme
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
Cream all ingredients together, roll into a ball and then a log and wrap in plastic. Refrigerate for at least 30 min. but up to 4 days. When ready, cut into 3/8 inch rounds and bake for 22 minutes on parchment paper at 350 degrees.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Chappy Cholidays!
In the interest of full disclosure, that Gus ornament made it one day before its inspiration knocked over the tree and shattered it into a million pieces. We got some new ornaments, tougher ornaments, though. So don't cry.
Anyway, I am so in the holiday spirit already, you guys!! We have a tree up, I am drinking from red cups, I've gotten and shipped presents for both my and Charlie's moms, our sisters, for baby Jesus, I mean, preschool kid Johan and his mom, my wife. And for another birthday, not naming any names but she's totally turning 30 on Friday and it rhymes with Talison Menge.
I like it because I usually always have good intentions, I just forget. And then I have all this crap that is either totally outdated and useless or super late and it seems like I didn't really care enough. I've got some more elving to do but also have a ton of time to do it in. And maybe this future me will follow through since new me is setting such a good example for her.
In the meantime, it's almost time to go to Phoenix to go to Minneapolis tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, please enjoy this joke my client told me this morning in the psych unit:
Him: Want to to hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Him: What do you get when you fill out all your paperwork?
Me: MMMmmm... I don't know, what?
Him: A thousand paychecks!
Me: Wow, that's a good deal!
I hope you fill out all your paperwork so your Thanksgiving is better than a thousand paychecks!
Anyway, I am so in the holiday spirit already, you guys!! We have a tree up, I am drinking from red cups, I've gotten and shipped presents for both my and Charlie's moms, our sisters, for baby Jesus, I mean, preschool kid Johan and his mom, my wife. And for another birthday, not naming any names but she's totally turning 30 on Friday and it rhymes with Talison Menge.
I like it because I usually always have good intentions, I just forget. And then I have all this crap that is either totally outdated and useless or super late and it seems like I didn't really care enough. I've got some more elving to do but also have a ton of time to do it in. And maybe this future me will follow through since new me is setting such a good example for her.
In the meantime, it's almost time to go to Phoenix to go to Minneapolis tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, please enjoy this joke my client told me this morning in the psych unit:
Him: Want to to hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Him: What do you get when you fill out all your paperwork?
Me: MMMmmm... I don't know, what?
Him: A thousand paychecks!
Me: Wow, that's a good deal!
I hope you fill out all your paperwork so your Thanksgiving is better than a thousand paychecks!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
More Important: Many Good Things Also Happening
1. Long hikes. Last one was Thursday with another lawyer from my office that involved almost 3 hours of hiking and about 3 hours of drinking mimosas after. Perfect ratio, as far as I am concerned.
2. FREE regular-sized Aveda shit (shampoo/conditioner) for referring Charlie to my haircutting place. It was offered literally right after I was browsing all the product and telling myself something like, "Sarah, when you pay off your credit card, you can only use Aveda products." So, look for me to smell great all the time in, like, 10 years.
3. It's almost Thanksgiving! Which means a) delicious and b) another trip to Minnesota, which is usually always fun. Also reminds me of the kid in my math class senior year who was kind of slow and sometime in the first couple weeks of school in September said, "I can't wait for Thanksgiving, I'm so hungry!"
4. I'm getting sent to a class in Phoenix on Friday for work, which I believe is my first business trip and involves staying over Thursday night in a hotel. Look for me to make a lot of references to my business trip and to specify I am there for business, not pleasure.
5. I want a gas fireplace insert for Christmakkah. It would so improve our quality of life but is non-essential and costs multiple thousand of dollars. Santa, you're on notice. Any concern about becoming domesticated and old and lame is obviously now moot. I am including this in "good things happening" to demonstrate the power of positive thinking.
6. I came into work today to a thank you card from a client's family. I did good for him and getting thanked... is great. Good start to a new week.
2. FREE regular-sized Aveda shit (shampoo/conditioner) for referring Charlie to my haircutting place. It was offered literally right after I was browsing all the product and telling myself something like, "Sarah, when you pay off your credit card, you can only use Aveda products." So, look for me to smell great all the time in, like, 10 years.
3. It's almost Thanksgiving! Which means a) delicious and b) another trip to Minnesota, which is usually always fun. Also reminds me of the kid in my math class senior year who was kind of slow and sometime in the first couple weeks of school in September said, "I can't wait for Thanksgiving, I'm so hungry!"
4. I'm getting sent to a class in Phoenix on Friday for work, which I believe is my first business trip and involves staying over Thursday night in a hotel. Look for me to make a lot of references to my business trip and to specify I am there for business, not pleasure.
5. I want a gas fireplace insert for Christmakkah. It would so improve our quality of life but is non-essential and costs multiple thousand of dollars. Santa, you're on notice. Any concern about becoming domesticated and old and lame is obviously now moot. I am including this in "good things happening" to demonstrate the power of positive thinking.
6. I came into work today to a thank you card from a client's family. I did good for him and getting thanked... is great. Good start to a new week.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Framed!
I know this is weird, but I've always had this kind of dark secret... well, not really fear, but more like knowledge that someday I'll be convicted of a crime I didn't commit. Kind of like every time I get sick I wonder if this is going to be the terrible terminal exotic disease that means the end of me. I am not sure if other people think this way. Saying it out loud makes it sound super weird. But anyway, maybe connected is that I hate being blamed for things I didn't do. This is unfortunately sometimes a part of my job... but really, what is worse than being blamed for something you either weren't responsible for or affirmatively did the opposite of? Almost nothing, that's what.
Anyway, I had a lovely veteran's day on Thursday which was capped by this really upsetting realization that over the past several months, someone in my life has been acting one way to my face and telling deluded lies behind my back about things I never did and motivations I don't have. I mean, like, totally bat-shit stuff. My point is not to drag this loser through the mud on the internet, my point is to mention how terrible it feels to be blamed for something you didn't do. I don't need to go into details, but it is truly pathological. Like acting as though this person was trying to be my friend while bad-talking me and making things up behind my back. Ahem. Not a very big loss in terms of a potential friend (wow, that is such a classy and healthy way to act) but nonetheless jarring to hear an account of your actions that not only is false, but also makes you look like this terrible person you are trying very hard not to be.
It's frustrating, too, because in the same ways I have to walk a line between correcting a judge's misstatement about what I did or said and saying "NUH-UH!" it's also apparently not acceptable to counter a rude person by, say, bringing up what I consider their physical flaws in every single conversation like this person has. Or try to exact revenge.
I guess my frustration also comes from being really too old for this. I used to get so upset in elementary school because I didn't have many friends and my friends were always disappointing me. I remember my mom telling me that I just had to wait, that other kids would catch up and then I would find friends who meet my standards. She was right, and I have. I have a lot, a lot of great friends. I try very hard (and I think I succeed) in being a great friend and it is reciprocated. I have a lot of very successful and meaningful friendships. So it's insane to run up against this terrible person (or remember that nutso from law school who made all this friend-drama for me 1L year?) It feels very unfair to be accused of not being something I've tried very hard to be-- a good friend. It's frustrating because as much as we can know, yes it's because someone else is insecure, yes it's a reflection of them, not me... turning the other cheek can be so terribly unsatisfying.
I also don't like it because it makes me mean. Because I start saying things like this person is ugly and pathetic and I want to kick in her teeth. All perhaps true, but that kind of anger and meanness is so not productive and is really toxic. And the world is mean and toxic enough and my job involves people being or being the victim of meanness and toxicity. So I want to spend my free time with people who want to be kind to each other and be generally positive and who don't gain self-esteem by putting others down like it's 1988 and we're on the playground of Anderson Open School. Let me clarify, I want to spend my free time to with people who are kind to each other both behind and in front of each others backs. If no such people are available, I'm cool with hanging out alone.
I am additionally frustrated (for some reason this is bothering me a lot- it has been making me huffy for days now and I wish it wasn't because it's stupid and waste of energy but I can't stop) because I didn't trust my instincts. I never liked this person. But I tried. I made an effort. Even after my dad was in Rwandan jail and she made sure to tell me she had contacts at the State department but was calling them for another reason. Um, ok. That's awesome. See, that's your prerogative, but don't tell me about it. Like I should understand. Of course, thanks for letting my know exactly where my crisis fits in terms of order of importance to you. So I should have known better, I shouldn't have made an effort, I shouldn't have overlooked assholey things in the past. But I did- and I got burned.
I am additionally frustrated (for some reason this is bothering me a lot- it has been making me huffy for days now and I wish it wasn't because it's stupid and waste of energy but I can't stop) because I didn't trust my instincts. I never liked this person. But I tried. I made an effort. Even after my dad was in Rwandan jail and she made sure to tell me she had contacts at the State department but was calling them for another reason. Um, ok. That's awesome. See, that's your prerogative, but don't tell me about it. Like I should understand. Of course, thanks for letting my know exactly where my crisis fits in terms of order of importance to you. So I should have known better, I shouldn't have made an effort, I shouldn't have overlooked assholey things in the past. But I did- and I got burned.
When I was feeling really mad, I was thinking things like, "oh you want to tell people I don't like you, wait to you see what me not liking you really feels like" and then probably something about the teeth-kicking again. But in reality, nothing dramatic will happen. I'll spend time with people I like, or alone, and get the slim satisfaction out of living well and being the bigger person. Bigger person save a facebook defriending... of course. And in terms of false convictions, one uncool person thinking I am a bad friend is way better than going down for a murder I didn't commit. I guess I'll take it.
Friday, November 05, 2010
I Gotta Wear Shades (Future's So Bright)
Hey Sarah, how the hell are you? Busy. But good. Really good. At some time last winter, even before a good portion of the badness of AY2009-2010 happened, I was listening to This Year by the Mountain Goats. And thinking about how it was on a mix my friend Rachel made me for New Years 2006 and how many times since then it's been a kind of internal mantra. I have clearest memories of walking to the law school on exam days, listening to that song on repeat. At the time I incidentally walked north on Mills St. where I lived, which kind of fit with the song.
Anyway, last winter I was listening to it and thinking "Jesus Christ, when will 'this year' finally be over??" Well, of course, 'this year' never ends, there is a cycle of challenges, apparently until we die... But, in terms of the other side of the hardest year? Yeah, I'm there.
Work is good. Great. It feels wonderful to say it every time. It's also extremely challenging-- intellectually, emotionally but also exactly what I signed up for. I have a supportive boss, great and experienced co-workers, autonomy... Can I gush more? I am learning so much, so quickly. It's exhausting and exhilarating. It's made me realize that I've had a lot of bad jobs... (and some good ones).
It's been gratifying, too, because, it turns out not only is this what I want to be doing... but I'm not bad at it. I mean, considering I'm in week 7. Two highlights of Friday included a judge saying I must have practiced somewhere before here because I have a "great presence" in court and then, of course, the client who told me she liked me because of the register of my voice, because I was wearing a turquoise shirt and because I was white. Did I mention comic relief? That's a big part of the job, too.
I think I didn't realize how much my professional dissatisfaction was impacting my general world-view. Like, I have a job now that's frustrating in a lot of ways and emotionally draining in many as well, but I also feel like people think I'm smart and capable and I do feel like a total badass in it at least once a day. So that's awesome, right?
Also, despite what my mother says, I can paint my nails virtually any color I want and wear it to court (rainbow sparkles is probably more than I'd try, I'm talking like orange and red and dark purple). And then get people out of jail. Because I am a total badass and that's what I do.
Anyway, last winter I was listening to it and thinking "Jesus Christ, when will 'this year' finally be over??" Well, of course, 'this year' never ends, there is a cycle of challenges, apparently until we die... But, in terms of the other side of the hardest year? Yeah, I'm there.
Work is good. Great. It feels wonderful to say it every time. It's also extremely challenging-- intellectually, emotionally but also exactly what I signed up for. I have a supportive boss, great and experienced co-workers, autonomy... Can I gush more? I am learning so much, so quickly. It's exhausting and exhilarating. It's made me realize that I've had a lot of bad jobs... (and some good ones).
It's been gratifying, too, because, it turns out not only is this what I want to be doing... but I'm not bad at it. I mean, considering I'm in week 7. Two highlights of Friday included a judge saying I must have practiced somewhere before here because I have a "great presence" in court and then, of course, the client who told me she liked me because of the register of my voice, because I was wearing a turquoise shirt and because I was white. Did I mention comic relief? That's a big part of the job, too.
I think I didn't realize how much my professional dissatisfaction was impacting my general world-view. Like, I have a job now that's frustrating in a lot of ways and emotionally draining in many as well, but I also feel like people think I'm smart and capable and I do feel like a total badass in it at least once a day. So that's awesome, right?
Also, despite what my mother says, I can paint my nails virtually any color I want and wear it to court (rainbow sparkles is probably more than I'd try, I'm talking like orange and red and dark purple). And then get people out of jail. Because I am a total badass and that's what I do.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Brush with Fame
I got my haircut last week. But this isn't about that. While I was in the chair, this song was playing:
A guy from a neighboring restaurant came to deliver some food. He said, "hey, this is my cousin's band!" I thought, "wow! I wonder who is cousin is. Does Jeff Tweedy's cousin work at a bbq place in Flagstaff?" And then he said, "yeah, the Rembrants!" Remember these guys?
So, only slightly less cool, I met the cousin of some guy from the Rembrants.
A guy from a neighboring restaurant came to deliver some food. He said, "hey, this is my cousin's band!" I thought, "wow! I wonder who is cousin is. Does Jeff Tweedy's cousin work at a bbq place in Flagstaff?" And then he said, "yeah, the Rembrants!" Remember these guys?
So, only slightly less cool, I met the cousin of some guy from the Rembrants.
Friday, October 08, 2010
3 Random Thoughts
1) Over lunch I went to Subway (as I do often, yes) and pulling into the parking lot, saw this mass of teens walking toward Subway from the high school. And so I high-tailed it to get in line before them, but also dreading interacting with them. I wondered if I was aware adults felt this way about me when I was a teen. Did they? Probably.
2) I did some lawyerly stuff today. Like appearing in court and subpoena-ing stuff and learning as quickly as I possibly can. And getting one of my cases dismissed even though I had absolutely nothing to do with making that happen. All very exciting even if about 4 hours ago I was completely convinced I was going to vomit on my shoes. But I did not.
3) There's a facebook video thing going around about "re-thinking" Columbus Day. I seriously cannot remember the last time I had Columbus Day off from school/work. It must have been early elementary school because Minneapolis Public Schools stopped celebrating it, Wesleyan didn't, UW didn't and none of my jobs have. So, wah-wah. Thinking about this also reminded me of my time at the mean law firm where I didn't show up on Veteran's Day 2003 about 2 weeks after I started because the secretaries told me they didn't work that day, I assumed the office was close, but apparently that wasn't true. Wondering if I can pull a similar stunt for Columbus Day 2010...
2) I did some lawyerly stuff today. Like appearing in court and subpoena-ing stuff and learning as quickly as I possibly can. And getting one of my cases dismissed even though I had absolutely nothing to do with making that happen. All very exciting even if about 4 hours ago I was completely convinced I was going to vomit on my shoes. But I did not.
3) There's a facebook video thing going around about "re-thinking" Columbus Day. I seriously cannot remember the last time I had Columbus Day off from school/work. It must have been early elementary school because Minneapolis Public Schools stopped celebrating it, Wesleyan didn't, UW didn't and none of my jobs have. So, wah-wah. Thinking about this also reminded me of my time at the mean law firm where I didn't show up on Veteran's Day 2003 about 2 weeks after I started because the secretaries told me they didn't work that day, I assumed the office was close, but apparently that wasn't true. Wondering if I can pull a similar stunt for Columbus Day 2010...
Friday, October 01, 2010
Good deals
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Hey guys, remember... my last post? Well amazingly soon after that, I was offered a job. Excuse me, not, a job but a job doing exactly what I want to do. Like, I was in the interview and they asked what I wanted to do as my career and I stopped for a moment because I couldn't figure out how to say it without sounding like a total kissass. "This job, I want to do this." And I think it worked because it's totally true. I am so excited to start. Like... soooo excited. One reason I'm excited is because I feel like I don't really have to hide certain substantial aspects of my personality like I have for the past year. My dad referred to it as me "coming out." Except I'm still not gay. Just a lefty.
I feel incredibly fortunate. Because I am. Because I got this job by making myself completely qualified (oh yes, I worked very hard for 4 years now to do that) but also by hustling like hell and being really nice and reasonable to everyone for the past year. PS- once I heard all of the secretaries in the office liked me, I knew that was VERY good. Job seekers-- NEVER underestimate the administrative staff.
Anyway, the future starts on Monday, for a day. Then I go to New Orleans to hang out with friends and radical lawyers (there is much overlap between these categories to be sure) and then I start for real for real the following Monday. I have purchased things FOR MY OFFICE, like a lamp and ipod speakers. I got some new clothes, too. And I'll get a new day planner and pens before I really start, too. You know, back to school and all.
I'm kind of over the moon and have been for 2 weeks now. It's funny because a number of people have pointed out how additionally lucky it is that I hadn't gotten another job before this-- I wouldn't have been available or hustling like I was. Of course, this is impossible to really believe when you're in the thick of it, but they're right. Things worked out really well and really in the right way. The relief of working for/with people who a) guessed I was going to New Orleans for this convention and b) knew all about my dad's case (compared to perhaps where no one knows what a) is and about a month ago I was asked how my dad was doing in Rwanda...) is huge.
This is a lot of jumbled thoughts. Another jumbled thought is that I've been thinking about what to do with this blog. It's finding that comfortable middle where I am not just talking about the dogs, but am also not divulging private information and am also not compromising clients or my professional reputation by expressing opinions about more substantive things. Then again, I can no longer even find this blog when I google myself there are 6,670 hits. Wowza. So much for privacy.
Oh and one more time- YAY!
I feel incredibly fortunate. Because I am. Because I got this job by making myself completely qualified (oh yes, I worked very hard for 4 years now to do that) but also by hustling like hell and being really nice and reasonable to everyone for the past year. PS- once I heard all of the secretaries in the office liked me, I knew that was VERY good. Job seekers-- NEVER underestimate the administrative staff.
Anyway, the future starts on Monday, for a day. Then I go to New Orleans to hang out with friends and radical lawyers (there is much overlap between these categories to be sure) and then I start for real for real the following Monday. I have purchased things FOR MY OFFICE, like a lamp and ipod speakers. I got some new clothes, too. And I'll get a new day planner and pens before I really start, too. You know, back to school and all.
I'm kind of over the moon and have been for 2 weeks now. It's funny because a number of people have pointed out how additionally lucky it is that I hadn't gotten another job before this-- I wouldn't have been available or hustling like I was. Of course, this is impossible to really believe when you're in the thick of it, but they're right. Things worked out really well and really in the right way. The relief of working for/with people who a) guessed I was going to New Orleans for this convention and b) knew all about my dad's case (compared to perhaps where no one knows what a) is and about a month ago I was asked how my dad was doing in Rwanda...) is huge.
This is a lot of jumbled thoughts. Another jumbled thought is that I've been thinking about what to do with this blog. It's finding that comfortable middle where I am not just talking about the dogs, but am also not divulging private information and am also not compromising clients or my professional reputation by expressing opinions about more substantive things. Then again, I can no longer even find this blog when I google myself there are 6,670 hits. Wowza. So much for privacy.
Oh and one more time- YAY!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
21st Grade
So by all accounts, many detailed right here, 2010 has been kicking my ass. Ok, thanks, that's enough... unfortunately there are 4+ more months of 2010.
I had a thought last night, though, what if it's not "2010" but academic year 2009-2010? We moved to Arizona a year ago, at the end of our academic-year based lease and Charlie started working right around now. I got hired and started my job at the end of August. We were all polished up and ready for 20th grade. And the beginning of the fall was ok. Then my grandma died. Then I started studying for the Arizona bar. Then I started being abused at work. Then I was still studying for the Arizona bar. Then I took it. Then I started studying for the Navajo bar. Then I took it. Then there was about 3 weeks of breathing room. Then I learned I passed both bars. Then Navajo wouldn't let me swear in because Arizona was slow with my character and fitness. Then I got offered a lawyer job. Then my dad got arrested in Rwanda. Then they gave the job to someone else because Arizona was slow with my character and fitness. Then a couple more weeks of total bizarre terribleness getting my dad out of Rwanda. Then my work hired someone who just sat for the AZ bar over me (and everyone else) who was already licensed. There was probably more and that about brings us up to now. And, of course, all of this happened with my one real friend in Arizona/joint tenant with right of survivorship living away from home 3 nights/week.
Of course there were good things over the past year, too. I did get a job when I moved to AZ. The schedule of living apart half time was not nearly as bad as I feared it would be. The fall was full of hikes and exploring this new place. We bought a house. We got a new wonderful pup. I went to 4 beautiful and terribly fun weddings and got to share the fun with all kinds of people I love from all over the place. I passed two bars! I'm licensed in Arizona! We're getting new windows!
But, all in all, this past 12 months has been really, really tough. I've spent a lot of time alone and more energy than I have ever had to or should have to trying to maintain my sense of self and self-confidence through blow after blow.
However. Here we are, starting 21st grade. Charlie will live here full-time in his new job starting Monday. Maybe I'll need to get new clothes, not for school but for court. I'll spend the fall getting to know new friends and learning a new system, like the old days. I like this academic year idea because after this many years of schooling, there is something that feels new about the beginning of fall. A more natural start-over than the middle of winter, post-holiday noisemaking. I also like the idea, frankly, because it means that this year of ass-kicking is over. I don't have to wait until December, new beginnings start now. God, I hope I'm on to something because I'll tell you, if real school had been as hard for me as this past year in U of Hard Knocks, I definitely would have dropped out long ago. And then I'd have so many fewer things to hang framed on the wall of my office!
I had a thought last night, though, what if it's not "2010" but academic year 2009-2010? We moved to Arizona a year ago, at the end of our academic-year based lease and Charlie started working right around now. I got hired and started my job at the end of August. We were all polished up and ready for 20th grade. And the beginning of the fall was ok. Then my grandma died. Then I started studying for the Arizona bar. Then I started being abused at work. Then I was still studying for the Arizona bar. Then I took it. Then I started studying for the Navajo bar. Then I took it. Then there was about 3 weeks of breathing room. Then I learned I passed both bars. Then Navajo wouldn't let me swear in because Arizona was slow with my character and fitness. Then I got offered a lawyer job. Then my dad got arrested in Rwanda. Then they gave the job to someone else because Arizona was slow with my character and fitness. Then a couple more weeks of total bizarre terribleness getting my dad out of Rwanda. Then my work hired someone who just sat for the AZ bar over me (and everyone else) who was already licensed. There was probably more and that about brings us up to now. And, of course, all of this happened with my one real friend in Arizona/joint tenant with right of survivorship living away from home 3 nights/week.
Of course there were good things over the past year, too. I did get a job when I moved to AZ. The schedule of living apart half time was not nearly as bad as I feared it would be. The fall was full of hikes and exploring this new place. We bought a house. We got a new wonderful pup. I went to 4 beautiful and terribly fun weddings and got to share the fun with all kinds of people I love from all over the place. I passed two bars! I'm licensed in Arizona! We're getting new windows!
But, all in all, this past 12 months has been really, really tough. I've spent a lot of time alone and more energy than I have ever had to or should have to trying to maintain my sense of self and self-confidence through blow after blow.
However. Here we are, starting 21st grade. Charlie will live here full-time in his new job starting Monday. Maybe I'll need to get new clothes, not for school but for court. I'll spend the fall getting to know new friends and learning a new system, like the old days. I like this academic year idea because after this many years of schooling, there is something that feels new about the beginning of fall. A more natural start-over than the middle of winter, post-holiday noisemaking. I also like the idea, frankly, because it means that this year of ass-kicking is over. I don't have to wait until December, new beginnings start now. God, I hope I'm on to something because I'll tell you, if real school had been as hard for me as this past year in U of Hard Knocks, I definitely would have dropped out long ago. And then I'd have so many fewer things to hang framed on the wall of my office!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Hair!
I have about 18 draft posts about my dissatisfaction with my job, various personal injustices, the "debate" over the 14th amendment and all other kinds of malarkey. But we both know you're here to talk about my hair. So I got real-er bangs today, going back to the hairstyle of ages 2-10 instead of the same basic one I've reverted to for ages 22-29. I'm not going to say I was trying to look like Zooey Deschanel... but unsolicited she was mentioned by my stylist as an inspiration. The stylist even suggested we google her... um, no, ahem, I know what her bangs look like... Aside from getting used to having hair all over my forehead, so far the biggest challenge I anticipate is getting ID'd even more frequently. Seriously, as if that were possible.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Summer Saturday
If there's something wrong with spending a Saturday in August sleeping late, listening to NPR, drinking coffee, painting neon orange nails, throwing balls to dogs in the yard, discovering Pushing Daisies is as good as everyone says it is and cooking elaborate breakfast AND dinner..
Well, then I don't want to be right.
Well, then I don't want to be right.
Uncle Bill
Uncle Bill was one of those uncles who wasn't actually related to us. He was a friend of the family to my dad's mom's parents. He never had kids and by the time I was born, was already pretty old and had moved to Florida. Apparently back in the day it was rather scandalous that the swedes were BFF with this Jewish guy... little did they know about the subsequent miscegenation to befall the secretly already-muddied family tree. (this is the subject of another explanation, the hilariously awkward interactions with the swedish family members about rumors of horse-traders staying at the family farm and how our branch of the family tree ended up rather swarthy as compared to the other branches...)
But Bill was always a presence, we stayed with him when we visited Disney World circa 1989 or so and he'd visit my grandparents regularly. I remember at some point coming down my grandparents' stairs and smelling cigarette smoke, being so confused and shocked that Bill was smoking in their living room. He explained that he'd never been a smoker, but once he turned 90, he started smoking one cigarette a day because, why not?
Uncle Bill died at the end of high school for me, before anyone I really knew had died. His estate was designated for my grandma, my uncle, my dad and me, in diminishing shares. I finally got my share sometime during my senior year in college. It seemed like a tremendous amount of money at the time. And it was. It paid for the last semester of college when my parents wouldn't. It financed quitting my miserable job to travel to Peru for a month. It went toward almost two months in Africa before law school. And the final chunk made the down payment on our house. There's no "lesson" here, just a belated "thank you" to Uncle Bill. You've made many important and good things happen in my life over the past few years. Thanks for helping me finish college, for some amazing travel experiences that helped make me, me. And thanks for our house! Thanks.
But Bill was always a presence, we stayed with him when we visited Disney World circa 1989 or so and he'd visit my grandparents regularly. I remember at some point coming down my grandparents' stairs and smelling cigarette smoke, being so confused and shocked that Bill was smoking in their living room. He explained that he'd never been a smoker, but once he turned 90, he started smoking one cigarette a day because, why not?
Uncle Bill died at the end of high school for me, before anyone I really knew had died. His estate was designated for my grandma, my uncle, my dad and me, in diminishing shares. I finally got my share sometime during my senior year in college. It seemed like a tremendous amount of money at the time. And it was. It paid for the last semester of college when my parents wouldn't. It financed quitting my miserable job to travel to Peru for a month. It went toward almost two months in Africa before law school. And the final chunk made the down payment on our house. There's no "lesson" here, just a belated "thank you" to Uncle Bill. You've made many important and good things happen in my life over the past few years. Thanks for helping me finish college, for some amazing travel experiences that helped make me, me. And thanks for our house! Thanks.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Relationships
New local lawyer acquaintance, trying to figure out why I moved here: "So, is one of you in some kind of relationship with Charlie?"
Me: Giggle. "Um, me, we're in 'some kind' of relationship."
Charlie: "Um, we prefer Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship."
Either way, 'some kind' of relationship, all right.
Me: Giggle. "Um, me, we're in 'some kind' of relationship."
Charlie: "Um, we prefer Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship."
Either way, 'some kind' of relationship, all right.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Kebabs
Here's another delicious meal to make. I had these kebabs at my mom's house when we were in Mpls a couple of weeks ago. I dreamed about them for a couple of days and now have just made them for the third time since the Minnesota trip. Actually, this third time they have not actually been prepared, they are marinating. The recipe suggest an hour or so-- if you do that they'll be great. But if you give them 24-48 hours. Wowie.
These are called "Chicken Brochettes in the Style of Fez" and the recipe is from the weekly Splendid Table email from NPR.
You will need: flat metal or bamboo skewers
Advance preparation: 30 minutes to 1 hour for marinating the kebabs
* 1-1/2 pounds skinless, boneless chicken thighs or breasts, cut into 1 x 1 x 1/2 inch pieces
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped flat-leaf parsley, or more mint or cilantro (I use more mint/cilantro since parley is like a fake herb)
* 1-1/2 teaspoons coarse salt (kosher or sea)
* 1 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1. Rinse the chicken under cold running water, then blot it dry with paper towels. I usually forget this step, but will admit it is a best-practice. Place the chicken in a large nonreactive mixing bowl. Add 2 tablespoons each of the mint, cilantro, and parsley and the salt, cumin, turmeric, and pepper, and stir to mix. Stir in the oil. Let the chicken marinate in the refrigerator, covered, for 30 minutes to 1 hour. (or 2 days if you're thinking ahead of time)
2. Thread the chicken through the thin side onto skewers so that the flat side of the chicken will be exposed to the fire.
3. Set up the grill for direct grilling and preheat it to high.
4. When ready to cook, brush and oil the grill grate (I don't do this, my chicken sticks). Arrange the chicken brochettes on the hot grate and grill them until golden brown and cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes per side.
I would suggest serving them with tzatziki, I like this recipe and Israeli couscous. Because I love Israeli couscous so much more than regular couscous.
The kebabs and tzatziki are also great things to make a lot of and eat over several days. You can even conserve some uncooked chicken to continue marinating and have delicious dinners for days
These are called "Chicken Brochettes in the Style of Fez" and the recipe is from the weekly Splendid Table email from NPR.
You will need: flat metal or bamboo skewers
Advance preparation: 30 minutes to 1 hour for marinating the kebabs
* 1-1/2 pounds skinless, boneless chicken thighs or breasts, cut into 1 x 1 x 1/2 inch pieces
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro
* 3 tablespoons finely chopped flat-leaf parsley, or more mint or cilantro (I use more mint/cilantro since parley is like a fake herb)
* 1-1/2 teaspoons coarse salt (kosher or sea)
* 1 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1. Rinse the chicken under cold running water, then blot it dry with paper towels. I usually forget this step, but will admit it is a best-practice. Place the chicken in a large nonreactive mixing bowl. Add 2 tablespoons each of the mint, cilantro, and parsley and the salt, cumin, turmeric, and pepper, and stir to mix. Stir in the oil. Let the chicken marinate in the refrigerator, covered, for 30 minutes to 1 hour. (or 2 days if you're thinking ahead of time)
2. Thread the chicken through the thin side onto skewers so that the flat side of the chicken will be exposed to the fire.
3. Set up the grill for direct grilling and preheat it to high.
4. When ready to cook, brush and oil the grill grate (I don't do this, my chicken sticks). Arrange the chicken brochettes on the hot grate and grill them until golden brown and cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes per side.
I would suggest serving them with tzatziki, I like this recipe and Israeli couscous. Because I love Israeli couscous so much more than regular couscous.
The kebabs and tzatziki are also great things to make a lot of and eat over several days. You can even conserve some uncooked chicken to continue marinating and have delicious dinners for days
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Snowflake
On the way to BWI last week, I boarded my flight from PHX to Cincinnati. When I got to my seat, I was supposed to have the window but this older couple had sat themselves in the window and the aisle with a bag in between them. I have had terrible luck lately on airplanes and had my seat taken by other more frequently than it should. I don't really care, so long as I don't get stuck in the middle when I'm supposed to have an end. But even then I don't make a big deal about it, just silently brood most of the flight. Anyway, I got to the seat and gave them my best midwestern grin, "Hi, sorry, I'm here, too." They remarked they didn't mind sharing so long as they had such a jolly companion. As Erica asked upon the retelling of the story, how did they know you were jolly? A good question.
I sat on the aisle, they asked me questions. They were from Snowflake, AZ and as the conversation went on, I realized, they were Mormon. Now, I don't like to think of myself as someone immediately creeped out by someone because of their religion, but apparently I am (maybe helped by questions from strangers like, "so, are you GOING to get married?"). Overall, they were perfectly nice and kind of like a satisfaction of my earlier strong interest/obsession with Mormonism. They at one point asked if I knew anything about Mormonism... an honest answer would be I wrote a lengthy research paper in college on the sensationalistic anti-mormon polygamy literature of the 19th century, I am almost done with Under the Banner of Heaven and if I have met a fallen Mormon after a couple of drinks over the past 10 years, it usually ends with me poking them in the chest and getting way too excited. But I said, "yes, a little."
Snowflake, as you will now know if you clicked on that link is a Mormon town in Arizona named for Mr. Snow and Mr. Flake. The husband of this couple is a Flake. Through our conversation, I learned they were headed to Nauvoo to see their daughter and grandchildren in a religious pageant that I deduced was in honor of Pioneer Day. They were carrying with them a family tree with accountings of which ancestors had been saved. Holy crap, this was like super Mormons. It was basically like some really bizarre dream come true. And way more entertaining than my seatmate from BWI to Atlanta on the return who forced me to feign sleep most of the way after she said (in a completely and inappropriately loud voice) "PHOENIX! WELL THAT MUST BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT... EXPERIENCE." After a full-day of little sleep and hangover recovery, I had no idea what this meant and I didn't want to explore. So I said, "well, actually, I don't live in Phoenix, I have a two-hour drive ahead of me when I get there" and closed my eyes. Oh, modern air travel.
I sat on the aisle, they asked me questions. They were from Snowflake, AZ and as the conversation went on, I realized, they were Mormon. Now, I don't like to think of myself as someone immediately creeped out by someone because of their religion, but apparently I am (maybe helped by questions from strangers like, "so, are you GOING to get married?"). Overall, they were perfectly nice and kind of like a satisfaction of my earlier strong interest/obsession with Mormonism. They at one point asked if I knew anything about Mormonism... an honest answer would be I wrote a lengthy research paper in college on the sensationalistic anti-mormon polygamy literature of the 19th century, I am almost done with Under the Banner of Heaven and if I have met a fallen Mormon after a couple of drinks over the past 10 years, it usually ends with me poking them in the chest and getting way too excited. But I said, "yes, a little."
Snowflake, as you will now know if you clicked on that link is a Mormon town in Arizona named for Mr. Snow and Mr. Flake. The husband of this couple is a Flake. Through our conversation, I learned they were headed to Nauvoo to see their daughter and grandchildren in a religious pageant that I deduced was in honor of Pioneer Day. They were carrying with them a family tree with accountings of which ancestors had been saved. Holy crap, this was like super Mormons. It was basically like some really bizarre dream come true. And way more entertaining than my seatmate from BWI to Atlanta on the return who forced me to feign sleep most of the way after she said (in a completely and inappropriately loud voice) "PHOENIX! WELL THAT MUST BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT... EXPERIENCE." After a full-day of little sleep and hangover recovery, I had no idea what this meant and I didn't want to explore. So I said, "well, actually, I don't live in Phoenix, I have a two-hour drive ahead of me when I get there" and closed my eyes. Oh, modern air travel.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Flauren 2k10
Wedding #4 of the summer was Fletcher and Lauren's in Luray, Va, in the Shenandoah valley. I skipped town Thursday morning and made it to Baltimore Thursday night where I had mediocre Mexican food with decidedly non-mediocre company. We high-tailed it (well, after having breakfast with the groom from wedding #3 and taking our time) out to Virginia Friday and spent the afternoon tasting Virginia wines and drinking shandys by the pool of the Days Inn. It was approximately 97-102 degrees all weekend, just for context.
Anyway, the wedding and all affiliated festivities were excellent. It was great to spend time with old friends and even meet some new friends (how is that for a novel concept, huh, Sarah?) The wedding itself was gorgeous and there was a lot of crying involved, wedding #4 takes the prize for most tears jerked. And then after some delicious dinner, quickly and appropriately devolved into a hot, sweaty, drunken dance-party mess. I mean "mess" in the good way.
May I present a pictorial representation of the transition from beautiful and classy to aforementioned mess:
I loved it. And somehow Lauren managed to still look awesome at the end of the night, good work!
Anyway, the wedding and all affiliated festivities were excellent. It was great to spend time with old friends and even meet some new friends (how is that for a novel concept, huh, Sarah?) The wedding itself was gorgeous and there was a lot of crying involved, wedding #4 takes the prize for most tears jerked. And then after some delicious dinner, quickly and appropriately devolved into a hot, sweaty, drunken dance-party mess. I mean "mess" in the good way.
May I present a pictorial representation of the transition from beautiful and classy to aforementioned mess:
I loved it. And somehow Lauren managed to still look awesome at the end of the night, good work!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Recuerdo
This is a small story about this ring. My dad's dad (who died when my dad was 23, long before I was born) gave it to my grandma when they were dating. Then my dad gave it to my mom as an engagement ring. Then my mom gave it to me, a number of years ago. I wore it regularly and then one day- pop- hit it against a wall or something while it was on my hand and took a chunk out of the moonstone. And then it sat in my mom's jewelery box for probably 10 years. When I was home weekend before last, I took it back and brought it into a jeweler here. The size of the stone was slightly irregular and so on, but I picked it up today. It looks lovely, it's back on my finger, all polished and looks better than I've ever seen it since it came to me after 60+ years of... love . The jeweler was confused that it was an engagement ring, "well, I've never seen a moonstone for an engagement before" but admired it's art deco style. I love it. I'm so glad to have it back and to have a little piece of grandma (and my parents) on my finger.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
House Woes
You know how homeowners are always like, "oh! groan! owning is a house is such a pain and so expensive!" And how potential homebuyers are like "renting is such a waste of money! how bad could it be?" I am transitioning from the latter to the former, quite quickly with the below-pictured jacking up of the kitchen/bedroom area of the house to replace all the rotted wood underneath in the addition that the former owners seem to have completed themselves. "I hope you guys got a good deal on this place," says handyman Jim. Jim, I am less and less convinced of that with every $1,000 we pay you....
Monday, July 05, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
I thought about this quote a lot over the past month, fighting my hard battle. There has been a lot that has been very strange about the past month. I mean, really bizarre. The psychology of the whole thing is really beyond my armchair pop psychology abilities… in others, it’s fascinating, uplifting, disappointing to see who was there, who stepped up and who didn’t and how others reacted. There was this amazing, completely indescribable outpouring from the world. I said something like this at the press conference back in Minnesota, but without the Wailing Wall portion—I remember being at the Wailing Wall and feeling this energy… because whether or not you believe it has its own sacredness, there is so much human energy being focused toward it, it was palpable. I found the same to be true over this month, I felt like I could actually feel the energy and work and support of so many, many people. I was like the mom who lifts a Volvo off her toddler, there was this superpower that was fueled by that energy. Amazing. And lots of other words that are so overused that when something that truly incredible happens… they sound weak.
But in this extreme crisis, I was amazed at how both beautifully wonderful and completely cruel strangers can be. So much, more than I will ever know, of our success is due to friends and strangers reaching out, taking action and making this critical mass work. And I can't be more grateful. But to the woman who yelled at me to "get off the phone!" the day my dad was arrested and I was standing at the side of the gas station talking to a reporter? And the woman who was incredibly rude and put out when my dad's wife knocked over her empty glass while getting into our table at a restaurant after learning hours earlier that my dad would be released and preparing to eat our first meal of the day at 3pm after attending the UN Security Council Meeting? And to the reporter who misquoted me, causing me to called my father’s despicable lawyer daughter in the comments of the article-and every other one to come? And to whoever called me a prostitute in some other comments? And to the man who yelled at the overworked medical resident to move her car after she'd driven over an hour to see her friend who lives across the country and whose father was just released from 3 weeks in Rwandan jail? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? The vitriol was astonishing. You’re calling me and my family monsters and wishing us ill? See, I (the monster or at least spawn of the monster) would never say such cruel things about anyone. I would never delight in a family’s misery and fear and call names. Why? Because I was raised better by that monster. Even just being rude because you're having a bad day... unacceptable, you never know the effect of your unkindness on someone in the middle of their battle. On the flip side, woman at JFK, you'll never know how much it meant when you handed me your unlimited metro card, for no reason. It works both way.
There are so many more examples of the ways people were extraordinary, though, I don’t want to downplay that. I am more sure now than ever that I have amazing friends and I have met many more amazing people. Strangers, who have remained strangers, were amazing. For someone who isn’t good at asking for help, owing so much to people I’ll never meet is… humbling. Humbling is both knowing that people will help you because they know you and they care, and that people will help someone they don’t know because it is the right thing to do. The overwhelming lesson was really 1) people can be beautiful and 2) the internet is assholes.
But in this extreme crisis, I was amazed at how both beautifully wonderful and completely cruel strangers can be. So much, more than I will ever know, of our success is due to friends and strangers reaching out, taking action and making this critical mass work. And I can't be more grateful. But to the woman who yelled at me to "get off the phone!" the day my dad was arrested and I was standing at the side of the gas station talking to a reporter? And the woman who was incredibly rude and put out when my dad's wife knocked over her empty glass while getting into our table at a restaurant after learning hours earlier that my dad would be released and preparing to eat our first meal of the day at 3pm after attending the UN Security Council Meeting? And to the reporter who misquoted me, causing me to called my father’s despicable lawyer daughter in the comments of the article-and every other one to come? And to whoever called me a prostitute in some other comments? And to the man who yelled at the overworked medical resident to move her car after she'd driven over an hour to see her friend who lives across the country and whose father was just released from 3 weeks in Rwandan jail? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? The vitriol was astonishing. You’re calling me and my family monsters and wishing us ill? See, I (the monster or at least spawn of the monster) would never say such cruel things about anyone. I would never delight in a family’s misery and fear and call names. Why? Because I was raised better by that monster. Even just being rude because you're having a bad day... unacceptable, you never know the effect of your unkindness on someone in the middle of their battle. On the flip side, woman at JFK, you'll never know how much it meant when you handed me your unlimited metro card, for no reason. It works both way.
There are so many more examples of the ways people were extraordinary, though, I don’t want to downplay that. I am more sure now than ever that I have amazing friends and I have met many more amazing people. Strangers, who have remained strangers, were amazing. For someone who isn’t good at asking for help, owing so much to people I’ll never meet is… humbling. Humbling is both knowing that people will help you because they know you and they care, and that people will help someone they don’t know because it is the right thing to do. The overwhelming lesson was really 1) people can be beautiful and 2) the internet is assholes.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bon Courage*
So they're in the appeal hearing, deciding whether to grant my dad bail, again. I can't believe this has gone on for so long. I can't believe all of this... hasn't worked. For the first ten days or so I wasn't really eating and only kind of sleeping. I didn't get hungry, I didn't get tired. I've never responded to stress that way.
I went back to work last Tuesday, but I'll likely have to take off the end of this week, again. It shouldn't really matter, I'm not "there" when I'm there. Most people don't seem to "get" it, "how's your dad?!?!" Um, in prison in Rwanda, being brought food once a day from the embassy so he is not poisoned, held for doing his job as an attorney.... thanks for asking?
I bought a fax machine because I started needing to send things to international faxes and realized the last thing I need now is to lose my job because I was using county resources to send international, political faxes. I mean, I am actually currently applying for another job with them... it would be bad. But it's strange how little I feel. I got a call that the job that was offered to me was given to someone else. I don't care. I tell media without sufficient emotion in my voice that I am terrified for my dad's safety. And it's true, I am just so tired. Tired of being terrified for two and a half weeks. So now I only cry when I have to write letters to strangers about my feelings, which happens more often than you'd think, or when I think too hard about the prison.
There have been some amazing people who have come out of the woodwork, friends of my dad's from elementary school, former clients, my old friends. I feel let down by every institution. Barack, didn't we say yes we can? Bill, I didn't care about Monica. I defended you against my dad's criticisms, for crying out loud, both of you! I supported you, now I'm s.o.l.?
And I continue to just really miss my dad. There was/is a bat in our house. It's disgusting, we keep thinking it is gone and then 2 days later it reappears. You know who would know what to do? My dad. The worst part of this whole thing is that the one person who would know how to get my dad out... is my dad.
One thing I have learned through this, guessing what he wants and not being able to speak to him, is that I know him very well. "I told you so" is unkind and counterproductive in dealing with the family, but... I'm usually right. I know what he will do, I know what he will say, I know what his coded messages sent out of jail mean. I am my father's daughter- not in all ways- but the same closeness that causes me so much personal pain now is what gives me that insight. Like everything, a blessing and a curse. And now back to waiting for the bail ruling...
*In this new life, I talk to many french speakers and international lawyers. There is something somehow better about bon courage. It makes me feel tougher than "good luck." I guess because courage sounds involved.
I went back to work last Tuesday, but I'll likely have to take off the end of this week, again. It shouldn't really matter, I'm not "there" when I'm there. Most people don't seem to "get" it, "how's your dad?!?!" Um, in prison in Rwanda, being brought food once a day from the embassy so he is not poisoned, held for doing his job as an attorney.... thanks for asking?
I bought a fax machine because I started needing to send things to international faxes and realized the last thing I need now is to lose my job because I was using county resources to send international, political faxes. I mean, I am actually currently applying for another job with them... it would be bad. But it's strange how little I feel. I got a call that the job that was offered to me was given to someone else. I don't care. I tell media without sufficient emotion in my voice that I am terrified for my dad's safety. And it's true, I am just so tired. Tired of being terrified for two and a half weeks. So now I only cry when I have to write letters to strangers about my feelings, which happens more often than you'd think, or when I think too hard about the prison.
There have been some amazing people who have come out of the woodwork, friends of my dad's from elementary school, former clients, my old friends. I feel let down by every institution. Barack, didn't we say yes we can? Bill, I didn't care about Monica. I defended you against my dad's criticisms, for crying out loud, both of you! I supported you, now I'm s.o.l.?
And I continue to just really miss my dad. There was/is a bat in our house. It's disgusting, we keep thinking it is gone and then 2 days later it reappears. You know who would know what to do? My dad. The worst part of this whole thing is that the one person who would know how to get my dad out... is my dad.
One thing I have learned through this, guessing what he wants and not being able to speak to him, is that I know him very well. "I told you so" is unkind and counterproductive in dealing with the family, but... I'm usually right. I know what he will do, I know what he will say, I know what his coded messages sent out of jail mean. I am my father's daughter- not in all ways- but the same closeness that causes me so much personal pain now is what gives me that insight. Like everything, a blessing and a curse. And now back to waiting for the bail ruling...
*In this new life, I talk to many french speakers and international lawyers. There is something somehow better about bon courage. It makes me feel tougher than "good luck." I guess because courage sounds involved.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Dad in Rwanda
I am pretty sure there is no one who reads this who wouldn't already know, but my dad was arrested in Rwanda yesterday morning. He was there, as an attorney, representing the opposition presidential candidate in her own criminal case. There are some stories about it here and here and here and here.
It's been truly exhausting, so far two days of near-constant phone calls, emails and calling/faxing the government when not otherwise occupied. If you want to know what you can do, that's really it. Call the State Department, call your Congressional Delegation and call the White House, ask for them to demand he be released immediately. This is a list of phone numbers, This is a press release a group I am working with generated today and This is the Hotel Rwanda Rusesabagina Foundation Press Release.
Anyway, I wrote my dad a letter today, trying to work on some of the feelings that I haven't really been feeling because I've been running constantly. I'll put it here because this remains my space, for doing things like writing weepy letters. I'll give it to him when he comes home. Right after a great big hug and possibly a proverbial punch in the nose (possibly also literal punch in the nose.)
It's been truly exhausting, so far two days of near-constant phone calls, emails and calling/faxing the government when not otherwise occupied. If you want to know what you can do, that's really it. Call the State Department, call your Congressional Delegation and call the White House, ask for them to demand he be released immediately. This is a list of phone numbers, This is a press release a group I am working with generated today and This is the Hotel Rwanda Rusesabagina Foundation Press Release.
Anyway, I wrote my dad a letter today, trying to work on some of the feelings that I haven't really been feeling because I've been running constantly. I'll put it here because this remains my space, for doing things like writing weepy letters. I'll give it to him when he comes home. Right after a great big hug and possibly a proverbial punch in the nose (possibly also literal punch in the nose.)
Dear Dad,
It’s late afternoon on Saturday here in Arizona. I’ve spent the last two days emailing, faxing, calling and answering calls from what feels like everyone in the world. I’ve talked to your colleagues from all kinds of work you’ve done. Work in Africa, Minnesota, Amsterdam… really everywhere. We had two conference calls yesterday and it was so heartwarming to hear the voices of these friends you’ve made all over the place. This has become the hardest part for me, personally, so much of this action and organizing, you would love to see. I keep wanting to tell you about something that happened, some amazing connection people have made and demonstration of the power of all of these people working together. You would love to see it.
There has been an unbelievable outpouring—people from all parts of both of our lives have come out of the woodwork and showed their support. All of the parts of our family, the National Lawyers Guild, the Law School, long-lost friends and colleagues. When your brother spoke to the State Department yesterday, the woman said, “It seems like you all were ready for this to happen.” He said he just laughed and said, “No, we’re all just really motivated and stubborn as hell.” You would be so proud.
I’ve realized some things over the past two days. One is that we have taken far too few pictures together recently. I saw that when I had to send one to a Minneapolis TV station. We need to fix that when you get back. I’ve also realized how much your work means to the people who benefit from it. I’ve received dozens of facebook messages and emails from Rwandans thanking me for your work, for standing up for them and for now bringing light to their situation. They love you. I can’t tell them how I really feel in my heart of hearts, though, that selfishly I hope when you get out, you’ll open up a solo practice doing Wills or something. That when I stop moving, as I only have a couple of times since we got news of your arrest yesterday morning, I am so, so paralyzingly and blindingly scared and my heart is so heavy. I know that theirs are too and that you have been someone to lighten theirs… but I want you to be here to make me feel better. Because you’re my dad and that’s what you’ve always done. I stop and I am so angry at you for putting yourself in this situation, I want you to come back so I can scream and yell at you about how angry and scared you’ve made me.
Someone else told me to remember a righteous wind is at our backs. And I know this. From all the messages and all the support, I have been reminded of how proud I am of you and your work. All joking aside about the fact that I’ve become an attorney, too, so much of the person and lawyer I have become is due to the person and kind of lawyer you are. I’ve learned to work like hell from you and I’ve learned that all people deserve respect from you. I’ve thought about some of the things you’ve told me over (and over and over!) all my life—to figure out who you want to benefit from you work and the rest comes easily. That a society is best judged by how they treat their weakest members. Not to believe everything you read. That history is written by the victors. I would like to remind you now about the MLK quote, the arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. I miss you terribly, I love you so much and I look forward to writing this history with you, as victors, on the side of justice.
Sarah
Monday, May 24, 2010
3 things
1. I'm 29 now. It's a lot like 28 except that....
2. I own a Ukulele (thanks, Chazmataz!) What songs should I learn?
3. Make this ASAP. It's the Yucatan Shrimp from last Sunday's NY Times Magazine. I know you're not going to believe me that shrimp, garlic, butter, lime juice and sriracha will be delicious together... but trust me. Tonight we enjoyed the shrimp on red quinoa. Rice or even pasta would be good, too. Maybe even salad if you made it of spinach or something that wouldn't be totally nasty if it got a little warm from the shrimps. I used twice as much sriracha because we didn't have jalapenos. It literally tastes like a vacation, a good one, too.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Hipstamatic Dogs
I can't stay mad when Gus rips open the down comforter while I'm in
the shower? Like he did this morning? I'm not mad, they're adorable.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Commentary Redacted From My Last Post by Blogger
Three days until Gus' invented first birthday! Which is the same as my sister's 19th birthday (holy fuck I am 29 soon. See, that's how it works, Zoe's age plus 9 yrs, 347 days.) I haven't gotten either of them presents. Well, Gus is a dog, so presents are weird and isn't giving my dog my sister's birthday present enough? If I were rich, I would buy all three of us ipads.
Hipstamatic
and "lenses" for different instamatic-type effects. I am still
figuring it out, what they all do, but it's confirmed that I'm
basically currently obsessed. So, here is Pt. 1 of a 2 part series of
the dogs being adorable, expressive and ingenue-y.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Jane & Elmer
An artist and neighbor of my grandparents made these prints for our family. My grandpa died in 2002 and my grandma this last fall- our family owned their house in Lakeside for over 55 years, they lived there full-time for as long as I can remember. They were pretty much institutions in the town. Anyway, my aunt recently sent me my copy of the print and it's hanging in the hall now. It's really very nice, both a thing to say about them and to look at.
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Housewarming
We finally had a housewarming party last night-- and since we spent all day Saturday cleaning, I thought that would be a good time to take some pictures for more of a guided tour of the place. I like seeing pictures of other peoples' houses. Maybe you do, too. Also maybe it will encourage you to come visit to see it all for yourself. Glorious.
The far end of the house used to be a garage. Now it's a rec room and laundry room.
We scored this leather couch courtesy of the scratch & dent section of Ikea on Easter and Charlie's parents, who also delivered from Phoenix. That was really nice. 
The "rec" is highlighted by the treadmill/striped comforter dryer and the tv and Wii to the right.
Then the often-pictured blue room where you'll stay when you come to visit.
This couch was our main couch when I was growing up, then it lived in the basement of my mom's house, then came to Madison with me, moved to a second place in Madison and then to Arizona. And then to this second place in Arizona. Nevertheless, I found my favorite barrette from age 5 in it this weekend while vacuuming. 
It needs more furniture, but we kind of can't figure out what else goes in a guest room. A dresser?
Living room! Did I ever mention we got that couch on craigslist for $60? It's awesome.
Here's a close-up of the Hopi pot pictured on the table-- it was made by the husband of Charlie's co-worker. We were gifted this one (they sell for quite a lot of money) because it has a hairline fracture. A conservator friend was at the housewarming, investigated and said she could fix it. So that's awesome, as well.
Still un-painted front door. The horseshoe that used to be above it is now hanging next to it, as is the "skeleton key" Kristen bought me in Jerome, AZ. It opens anything, I swear.
This is the lavender in the window of the upstairs bathroom. It is otherwise unremarkable but now smells kind of good because of the plant.
These were a housewarming gift-- they're very cute and useful. The guests loved the bustier-topper wine bottle stoppers. I mentioned those were actually a housewarming from when we moved into Sterling Pl. in Brooklyn-- 5 years and 5 addresses ago. They are still really cute.
And, to boot, the free furnace we finally got to replace the one that hasn't been working well for months was installed last week! Yes, it's mid-May! Yes, it's in the 70s during the day (wait, I said the furnace was FREE, right?) But, we wanted to warm the house between the party and the furnace, better late then never!
The far end of the house used to be a garage. Now it's a rec room and laundry room.
We scored this leather couch courtesy of the scratch & dent section of Ikea on Easter and Charlie's parents, who also delivered from Phoenix. That was really nice. 
The "rec" is highlighted by the treadmill/striped comforter dryer and the tv and Wii to the right.
Then the often-pictured blue room where you'll stay when you come to visit.
This couch was our main couch when I was growing up, then it lived in the basement of my mom's house, then came to Madison with me, moved to a second place in Madison and then to Arizona. And then to this second place in Arizona. Nevertheless, I found my favorite barrette from age 5 in it this weekend while vacuuming. 
It needs more furniture, but we kind of can't figure out what else goes in a guest room. A dresser?
Living room! Did I ever mention we got that couch on craigslist for $60? It's awesome.
Here's a close-up of the Hopi pot pictured on the table-- it was made by the husband of Charlie's co-worker. We were gifted this one (they sell for quite a lot of money) because it has a hairline fracture. A conservator friend was at the housewarming, investigated and said she could fix it. So that's awesome, as well.
Still un-painted front door. The horseshoe that used to be above it is now hanging next to it, as is the "skeleton key" Kristen bought me in Jerome, AZ. It opens anything, I swear.
This is the lavender in the window of the upstairs bathroom. It is otherwise unremarkable but now smells kind of good because of the plant.
These were a housewarming gift-- they're very cute and useful. The guests loved the bustier-topper wine bottle stoppers. I mentioned those were actually a housewarming from when we moved into Sterling Pl. in Brooklyn-- 5 years and 5 addresses ago. They are still really cute.And, to boot, the free furnace we finally got to replace the one that hasn't been working well for months was installed last week! Yes, it's mid-May! Yes, it's in the 70s during the day (wait, I said the furnace was FREE, right?) But, we wanted to warm the house between the party and the furnace, better late then never!
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