Badass

I've spent this week in Phoenix, ostensibly learning how to do the job I already have been doing since September. It's been really helpful and I've been so glad I'm here. I think, because if you care about something and you're new at it... You want someone to tell you what to do. How to do it best. Like most things, there are no black and white answers. I've learned a lot of pointers and, thankfully, haven't learned I've messed up anyones life too bad so far. I was talking to Charlie tonight and at some point he said "whoa, wow! You're so excited." And I was. And I am.
I love my job because I get to feel totally badass at least once a day. And I care like shit about what I'm doing. Thats why I am 1. So fortunate and in such a good position for me and 2. Hope so much I never lose that feeling. The law is adversarial and basically, I almost never win. BUT I do win every time the government isn't able to do whatever the hell they want in a given situation.
It starts with this adrenaline rush of righteous indignation. Things I am indignant about on others' behalf which I would probably totally let slide if it were me... But the rush takes over and all of the sudden, my client is out of jail when the state finds it easier for them to be in.
It's this funny kind of relationship with the clients, because I am deeply invested in them, but they know very little about me. Last week we were working out when a blood test was going to happen and I told my client, rather officially, that I wanted to be present. He said, "oh yeah, I want you to be there," and there was that days' badass moment... Because OMG, I don't have a gun, I have very little real power- but he has so much less, and I'm his knight in shining armor. Practically, it is completely fair to ask what the hell am I going to do at the blood test and what is the point... but, I'm the one on his side, I'm his lawyer and his well-being is my job. It's humbling and awesome and this is surely not my last post about my job but one in a long potential string about my badass endeavors.