Really good idea....

So I was just thinking about this the other day... it has been more or less agreed upon in my informal poll of my friends from college, that the men we went to college with look worse now than they did then, and the women look better. We used to think this was because the men used to play sports and drink excessively. But now they just drink excessively. Anyway, so my idea what that this phenomenon has more to do with sexual peak. Could it be nature's way of procreating us? Making men the best-looking at 18 and giving women until 35 to look their darn best? Is this even true? It was just an idea.

Is the NY Times trying to ruin my life?

Exhibit A.:

Gowanus Yacht Club AND Bohemian Beer Garden... Give me a break!

You Learn Something New Everyday...

This is what I learned this weekend.

And this.

And I still burn
And I am still tasty to mosquitos.

Verdict?

Using Westlaw points to buy the first season of Law & Order: poetic genius/justice or the latest slip into biggest law school nerd ever?** Either way, it has arrived and it is totally awesome.

**After recounting stories of some of my clients, my affinity for The Wire and the last book I read... my stepfather last weekend was right to express his concern for my apparent fascination with crime...

The Woman My Mom Refers to as a "Cunt."

Gmail's Ad Crawler Seems to be a Little Off...

"Ann Coulter--www.yaf.org - Get your copy of a stunning poster of witty author Ann Coulter!"

Good Sign I Won't End Up in Prison-- I'm Smarter than These Guys

I went to a trial yesterday, the case was kind of funny:
Two guys come up with a great plan, unfortunately one of them gets in a fight with his live-in girlfriend who moves out and tips off the authorities. One of the local casinos is having this promotion where you earn entries in a raffle by gambling (one per hour at the blackjack table, for every so much you pump into the slot machines) and at the end of a six-week period, there were 5 drawings—one each hour for 5 hours for $10,000 each. So these guys get the bright idea to buy 4 reams of “bright orange” paper from OfficeMax and make their own entries on their home copy machine. Since the casino has been tipped off, they’ve been watching these guys come in a few times a day and stuff entries into the drums a few hundred at a time. In total, these guys submitted over 4200 entries EACH. One of them affixed mailing labels to his entries, the other HANDWROTE his. So the day of the drawing comes, one of them wins (since there were 15,000 entries total…their odds were better than ½… even curious they only won 1/5) And now they’re in federal court, the casino has this hilarious 26 minute montage of them thinking they’re clever and stuffing the barrel (as though everything everyone does in a casino were not being recorded. Doh.) and they’re being charged with conspiracy to steal money from the Ho Chunk nation. Doh. Doh. Doh. Doh.

Mpls

Elapsed time between driving past downtown Minneapolis and thinking "wow, I really like it here" and getting in a snit with my mom? Approximately 1.5 hours. Elapsed time between "I really like it here" and getting annoyed with my mom? More like 30 minutes.

Grudge Match: Iowa v. Wisconsin

In honor of my whirlwind trip to Iowa last night.... And the longest time I've spent in Iowa, topping out at 4 hours... And my incoming houseguest, a resident of Iowa... I now present:

The differences between Iowa and Wisconsin: A primer.

You think the midwest is all the same, my friends? Oh no. Oh, hey-ell no!

People in Iowa are mean! They drive like maniacs and make you honk at them. They don't let you out of the "turn-only" lane if you're from out of town and then turn in front of you for no reason, almost killing you and your passenger. They yell out profanities at people walking in the crosswalk and in concerts they yell things like "Fuck you! Get the hell out of Davenport!" At inappropriate times. (Obviously, there is a time and place to say something like that.)

People in Wisconsin are not always nice. But it is highly unlikely you'd have to honk as much as I did in Iowa last night.

In Iowa, they give you a choice of beer at the theater-- small or large.

This would never, ever, ever happen in Wisconsin. Every venue-- from theater to baseball game-- I've been to in Wisconsin has many, many beers on tap, from Miller to Sierra Nevada to local microbrews.

Anyway, I am sure there are some redeeming things about Iowa... feel free to suggest them. For now, I don't think I will be going back any time soon. And I am glad I didn't go to law school there. And the Wilco show we were there for was very fun.

Plugging in

Periodically I get totally overwhelmed by how many things in my life have to be charged. As in, plugged in. Other times I am overwhelmed by passwords and codes, I'll get to that later. The plugging in is out of control. The laptop. The cell phone. The ipod. In theory, the camera batteries but I can't handle it and so I pay out the wazoo for disposable batteries since I can't seem to handle having the rechargeable ones and the charger and an outlet in the same place at the same time. Things are constantly low on juice and I'm doing these silly calculations in my head-- how much longer can I type from this chair? Can I make a conference call from somewhere other than home without my phone going dead. It's a stupid byproduct of being so gosh-darned privileged and upwardly mobile as I am.

And speaking of privilege and upward mobility... the passwords and codes? 4 debit cards Email. Online social networking. Other email. OTHER email. Door code for the journal office. Door code for the clinic office. Bank login. A bazillion credit card logins. FAFSA pin. Social security number. So many things to remember... Yes, it's very difficult to be me.

"You Don't Want to Live in My House..."

That was the title of this inmate-produced video we watched the first day of the clinic this summer... another scared-straight program that won't work from the guys at Green Bay Correctional. But goddamned, if there's one thing I've picked up so far this summer, it's that I really, really don't want to go to prison. This also plays into my secretish fears of the inevitability of being a) diagnosed with a terrible, incurable disease and b) being falsely accused of a crime.
To visit it's actually not bad at all, Oxford is institutional in the way all institutions are the same... kind of like a middle school or something. It feels very safe, the inmates have all been really nice and when we spend the whole day there, we eat in this dining facility where they're getting their Associate's degree in something like restaurant management and they make elaborate lunches. And it costs $1.75. Today I had a turkey sandwich, tuna salad with ritz crackers, veggies with dressing and chocolate chip cheesecake. Again, for $1.75. Even so, I don't want to go to prison.
I spent the morning reading some client files in the legal assistant's office in the prison. Their stories are amazing, sad and absurd. There is a document called the Presentence Investigation that a parole board officer writes, thats basically a detailed background of the person, their criminal history, their family and the crime. It's a little insane, because it's so personal. And feels very voyeuristic... but also fascinating in a voyeuristic way. You see them going through a revolving door of prisons, you read about all their kids with all the kids' moms, their prior arrests.
Anyway, it continues to be really interesting. And exhausting.

Weekend Recap

New bike, minor league baseball, pool, brunch, DOGFEST!





Also, I recognize a real decline in my recent blogging... like, for the past month or so. I apologize. I'll try to be better. Promise!

Online Fogey Networking

This is funny and reminds me of when my mom joined Friendster to see a picture of my ex-boyfriend when we first started dating. Again, NYTimes is behind the curve...

I'm Don't Have a Job to Offer You...

The start of the clinic last week felt a lot like summer driver's ed or something... mostly familiar faces back in the law school building, sitting through lectures and doing some hands-on stuff... Anyway, there were a lot of "getting to know you." There are only 4 people in my project within the clinic, which means we spend a lot, a lot of time together. Our desks are all in a row, we share a "party line" telephone and we drive to and from the prison together, 1.5 hours each way.
Anyway, in all the "getting to know you" stuff, it started getting so annoying. Annoying because these people are law students and while most of my favorite people in the world are current or former law students... we all know they are SO annoying. So people are introducing themselves, giving brief little biographical sketches... but they all sound like personal statements. And personal statements that all kind of sound the same, except emphasizing whatever they think is the interesting thing about themselves. I hope I don't do this. I think I do, if only because I am so bad at self-promotion that I'd rather recite some boiler-plate explanation of how I am where I am now.
Anyway. The clinic continues to be very interesting. I interviewed two of my clients on Friday, really nice guys. I am taking on more clients and at work on the other cases, it's learning in a whole different way than I was all year. And I like it. I also really, really like having a desk again. I didn't even realize I was missing it, but being able to work and keep my stuff out at a place in the school is totally awesome. Even though I have to buy my own office supplies... er... but I have a desk!

Wisconsin's Version of a Black and White Cookie