In honor of my whirlwind trip to Iowa last night.... And the longest time I've spent in Iowa, topping out at 4 hours... And my incoming houseguest, a resident of Iowa... I now present:
The differences between Iowa and Wisconsin: A primer.
You think the midwest is all the same, my friends? Oh no. Oh, hey-ell no!
People in Iowa are mean! They drive like maniacs and make you honk at them. They don't let you out of the "turn-only" lane if you're from out of town and then turn in front of you for no reason, almost killing you and your passenger. They yell out profanities at people walking in the crosswalk and in concerts they yell things like "Fuck you! Get the hell out of Davenport!" At inappropriate times. (Obviously, there is a time and place to say something like that.)
People in Wisconsin are not always nice. But it is highly unlikely you'd have to honk as much as I did in Iowa last night.
In Iowa, they give you a choice of beer at the theater-- small or large.
This would never, ever, ever happen in Wisconsin. Every venue-- from theater to baseball game-- I've been to in Wisconsin has many, many beers on tap, from Miller to Sierra Nevada to local microbrews.
Anyway, I am sure there are some redeeming things about Iowa... feel free to suggest them. For now, I don't think I will be going back any time soon. And I am glad I didn't go to law school there. And the Wilco show we were there for was very fun.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
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1 comment:
way back in 2000, you were quoted saying "Iowa...like Minnesota, only lamer." and your co-Wes alum sings about people going into their houses and burning. i can only assume this means they burn AFTER they drive poorly and drink crappy beer.
now i'm in the mood for dar williams.
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