Hair!

I have about 18 draft posts about my dissatisfaction with my job, various personal injustices, the "debate" over the 14th amendment and all other kinds of malarkey. But we both know you're here to talk about my hair. So I got real-er bangs today, going back to the hairstyle of ages 2-10 instead of the same basic one I've reverted to for ages 22-29. I'm not going to say I was trying to look like Zooey Deschanel... but unsolicited she was mentioned by my stylist as an inspiration. The stylist even suggested we google her... um, no, ahem, I know what her bangs look like... Aside from getting used to having hair all over my forehead, so far the biggest challenge I anticipate is getting ID'd even more frequently. Seriously, as if that were possible.

Update

The blisters have receded. Apparently, the best antidote to 3rd degree alcohol/birthday related burns are non-stop eating, drinking and good friends. And non-stop shitty NYC rain seems to help, too. Probably the mani/pedi didn't hurt. Even if the mani/pedi central american woman thought I had genital warts on my hand.

I just had my second birthday party, it was fun. Vacation in Brooklyn is also fun. It was fun to see a wide assortment of people and remember the community I used to have/remember people will still come out on a Tuesday night to say celebrate (including an uplifting number from the right sidebar.) I am very lucky. And am still not 27!!!

Good Idea/Bad Idea?

Is it a good or bad sign to wake up from your 27th birthday party with hands that look like this:



And what if the blistering were the result of a "flaming dr. pepper" gone awry? It was a very fun party and now I am laundering and packing for the next phase of the bender.

Upcoming Professional

After spending some quality writing a motion about a fake case. And outlining a cross-examination of a fake cop in the fake case, I thought I should reward myself by bringing my leftover giftcards to the sale rack at the Gap. And so I did. I did vigilante pants shopping and walked away with two pairs of pants suitable for work that fit just fine and came off the sale rack. This is, of course, a raging success. But I also tried on a bunch of white shirts, some of which fit fine... but were all kind of translucent. On top of their see-through nature, I was also trying them on with a black bra, so the effect was particularly Carrie Bradshaw Business Casual. Now, this presents a problem for someone like me. I am not dressing demurely sexy business casual in order to catch the eye of the cute senior associate one of the late nights we spend pouring over discovery boxes.... nope, I am wearing these clothes to prison. Or, in the alternative, to jail and court. This is not the time to be demurely sexy. Or sexy. Or translucent.
So, I didn't get any shirts. But I did kind of like that whole Carrie Bradshaw part.

New Haircut. And the grey hair.

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea

I realize I seem to be relying on MTV news a lot lately... but the video here is interesting. And disappointing. I guess I haven't really been paying attention to what Chelsea has been doing with herself (ever since chatting with her now-ex at the beer garden in the east village.) But according to this video, she is a hedge fund manager. And according to American Ferrera, aka Ugly Betty aka Betty La Fea aka A Real Authority on American Politics, the way Chelsea turned out is why we should elect Hillary. So the fact that Chelsea was a child, full of hope, potential, the best educational opportunities, parents with a sense of public service and affluence-- and decided her life's calling was juggling rich peoples' money-- is a reason to elect Hillary? Her parents are Bill and Hillary Clinton, she was a Rhodes Scholar... and now she manages a hedge fund. If anything, I think the Clinton campaign should be downplaying that since obviously Hillary didn't instill her values in her daughter. Or maybe she did. Does it make more sense for the daughter of a corporate lawyer and Wal-Mart board member to manage a hedge fund? A little. I think the potential of her situation is what frustrates me. Man, if I were Chelsea Clinton, I could get so much shit done. And I'd, like, have a staff.

And meanwhile, back from the Peace Corps, Jenna Bush wrote a book about an AIDS orphan in Panama.

Does this seem f-ed up to anyone else? What do you think Malia and Sasha will be when they grow up?

Some News

1. My computer is busted. Instead of turning on, it flashes red, green, blue, then this crazy black and white pattern before going black... and then red, green, blue. Oh, and making this terribly crackling noise like the insides are a walkie-talkie on fire. So. The apple people have it. There are "various potential problems." I have 4 more months of AppleCare. Which means I have a loaner from the library and this whole episode won't cost me anything. A big deal for someone who lives on the internet/her computer, though. Also, because of this now know one can rent a MacBook from UW, three days at a time for free. Awesome.

2. I have noticed a shift in the classes this year, which is a little scary. They aren't talking about theories anymore, they're just telling us how to be lawyers. In Evidence tonight I got a little freaked out at the idea of being in trial and everything to consider and how much you can fuck someone's life up. And maybe I am not smart enough for this. And what is even more scary is that if I'm not smart enough for it, the vast majority of people are totally screwed. Wait, they already are. Nevermind.

The bright side? As a professor said other day: a bad prosecutor can ruin many peoples' lives in a morning. A bad defender ruins lives one at a time. Phew.


3. According to Lauren and her sources, brown hair is cool. This is good. Look how cool I am:



4. When the police trick kids on The Wire, it's funny. When they do it in the public defender class scenarios, I'll fight them. Speaking of The Wire, the first episode of season 5 is on iTunes for no monies. If you're into it.

News Bits

1. According to the stylist, I have wavy hair. This is a change in my life and paradoxically if I had the hair I always wished was curly when I had it, this haircut would work much better without a flat iron. Harumph.

2. I drive to New Orleans tomorrow, with 3 friend/classmates, possibly in a hybrid. If we do, in fact, get a hybrid, I will officially be the best person in the world. Keep your fingers crossed.

Diet

Yesterday I ate 3 quesadillas, almost an entire butternut squash and 2 liters plus 2 cans of Diet Coke. I also tried to tweeze something off my face that turned out to be a mole. And this is all why I have stayed away from blogging. Because what I have to say is at best boring and at worse, gross.

Good Job

I've been getting weekly allergy shots for the past couple of months now. It hasn't made any noticeable difference so far, but supposedly after 35 weeks or something, I will be less of a sneezey loser. Anyway, they are very flattering and often act, when I have no allergic reaction to the shots, like I have really accomplished something. "Good job, looks great!" I know that my involuntary physical response to allergens (or lack thereof) is not something I should be either proud or ashamed of... but it seems like there is so little recognition sometimes, that I think I might just let it go to my head. Why, thank you.

We're great, if you can wait.

I've been to a number of student-training type clinics in my day-- from the bumble & bumble free haircut school in NYC to the Aveda Institute $14 haircut in Minneapolis to, most recently, the technical college in town this morning to get my teeth cleaned. For $25! A common thread here is saving money. Since I work in the legal equivalent of these, I have started to feel a kind of kinship. "No, I'm not an attorney... but we're very thorough and all of my work is checked by an attorney!" So I was willing to scheduled 3.5 hours of the day, from 7:30-11 this morning so a nice girl named Michelle could learn how to be a dental hygienist on me. As they say around my clinic, "we do great work, if you can wait."

What was funniest about it was how similar it was to going to university health services for gyno exams. Bear with me. See, if you're in the real world and you're totally honest with your doctor, sometimes they lecture you. Like the one who asked me if I was pregnant and I said, "No, I don't think so." "Well, how do you know?" "Uh... well, my period ended yesterday." "That doesn't mean anything." Ok, lady, maybe I don't understand how this works... but see... I thought it did. But at health services they say, "You're not having unprotected sex with 10-15 people at a time most nights per week? Congratulations! That's fantastic! The picture of health!"

Segue to the dental clinic. Last year the dental hygienist asked me if I floss every day. I said, honestly, "well, probably 5 days a week." (which, btw, is probably about as regularly as you're going to get me to do anything I'm supposed to...) They said I was a bad flosser and had to do it every day. This morning, they couldn't stop raving. First, they couldn't even feel my lymph nodes. Awesome! Then my gums were so tight and healthy. Great work! Then they learned I floss 5 days/week. That's really commendable! We talked about my having had braces. Looks good! And who did these fillings? Beautiful work!

I felt a little awkward about it, only because it's a total class thing. Yeah, my teeth are in good shape because we had dental insurance and I went to Dr. Odegaard twice a year for 22 years! And so, I'm sure my mouth is much "cleaner" than most other people who pay $25 for a student to clean their teeth...

Tangentially and kind of weirdly, it made me think of a show like CSI and how when they found my body, before identifying me, they'd know I was some bourgeoisie girl. They take one look at those fillings and those healthy, tight gums and start calling the country clubs.

My Whole Body Hurts So Much

There are a lot of things I am not doing very well this semester. Like feeling sane. And some that I am doing well, like bringing my lunch and, as of the past week or so, working out regularly again. Not only does the working out (potentially--so far, no results) help with the feeling sane, but also with the difficulty sleeping on account of stress and the newly-bared floors meeting elephantine upstairs neighbors. (I hate them and just wrote a letter to my management company. The follow-up letter will include the case law about their breach of the covenant of quiet enjoyment I've been digging up. It is kind of funny, but for another, much nerdier post.) This post is about being sensible.

Working out regularly is sensible, because aside from the health benefits (physical and psychological. As well as the health benefit of not being incarcerated when I am overtired and finally snap and bludgeon the upstairs neighbors) it is sensible because for some reason, since about May... most of my pants don't fit. Now we can attribute this to whatever we like-- overzealous dryer shrinking them, the finals diet of trader joe's pizza not being the ALLI-without-the-nasty-side-effects it appeared to be in December. Whatever. Short answer, it's not about vanity. It's about being a girl on a budget with the seasons turning. I need pants that fit and I need to not spend money on them. Voila! The gym.

The gym is huge. It costs $30/yr to rent a locker. And $30/yr to take all the classes you want. Funny how I used to pay $72/mo for NYSC. Now, I borrow $30,000/yr to go the gym. And they throw in these nifty JDs and MAs as membership bonuses. At NYSC, the class was called Club Strength. At the UW gym, it's called Group Strength. It's actually way easier, but challenging enough for a girl who is just in it to save money.

Which brings me back to: my whole body hurts so much.

Something that is really nice:

If you're walking, crying-- because that's what you do when you're frustrated-- it's really nice if a woman comes up behind you and tells you you have pretty hair. Believe me.

Here's a Question...

At what age will I stop popping my pimples and creating huge pocks on my face?

Follow up... at what age will I stop getting pimples, fortheloveofallthingsholy?

Am I a nerd?

I've started biking again since the weather has gotten nicer. And a couple of weeks ago, I was at Target, in the bike aisle, and a couple of thoughts came to me-- one was my Torts professor last semester telling us that since we were trying to make our careers based on our minds... we should wear bike helmets to protect our investment. And then my thoughts turned to the nearly $300,000 worth of education I'll have by 2010.... (holy. fuck.) And so I bought a helmet. Kind of a cool one with flames on the sides. And I've been wearing it and trying to feel hardcore about it instead of like a nerd. But I still feel like a nerd. And like riding through campus there are a lot of 19 yr old from Wauwatosa who are judging me as such. Which is fine... kind of... right? This is just something I guess I will have to grapple with on my own. But if you see me nerding out with the helmet, just know I am a little sensitive about it...

Just so the internet doesn't think I am a liar:

I am the most disgusting person on earth.*




*Sorry! By special request of KBLA.

Update

1. It's been 79-80 degrees in Madison the past two days. I kind of love global warming.

2. I have a new bike post and seat. I will now keep my bike indoors, fuckerseatstealers.

3. Being far away, you may not remember my referring to mysterious jamming my thumb about two months ago. Well, today I cut off the nail. Making me, officially, the most disgusting person alive.

Today is THE Day

Boys, you know what I'm talking about. It's the day every girl wears a skirt. Except for me.

This has nothing to do with Mardi Gras...

... but I thought it was funny. At the bank this afternoon, the woman opening our new SHN bank account was trying to induce us to also get credit cards. She said that someday we'd be 24 and trying to buy a car.... I told her I am almost 26, I have a car and a number of credit cards. And then she said we looked under 20. Twenty six is just barely old enough for that to be flattering. Then she also said they see a lot of undergrads who look way more haggard. Now that is definitely flattering... I think.

What's Old is New Again

After a 2-3 year stint of identifying and embracing expensive jeans... I bought a pair at Old Navy last weekend. And damn if my butt doesn't look at least 90% as good in them as it does in jeans that retail for 5 times the price. Sorry, I don't know what this recent obsession with math is... the point is that the ultra low-rise bootcut jeans priced at $29.99 are just fine. Good, even. And may put Jerome Dahan out of business. Then again, I was only buying his jeans on ebay... so I guess my new discovery won't impact him in any way.