Winners!

We went to a fundraiser here last night for the county humane society. There was a country band and a silent auction, among the prizes were a "muzzle brake" and a free dog adoption. We got a call today and apparently we won the adoption... so add new dog to all kinds of upcoming changes. More on that as it happens... (there are no weddings and no babies involved, fyi.)

DING DONG

You how they've been telling us "it's starting"* for, like, 6 years but it hasn't really been? I know four couples who have gotten engaged in the past week. I am sincerely happy for all of them- well, three of them. The other one I'm more ambivalent about (you don't know them, I promise. And if you do, you're also ambivalent.) But anyway. Holy crap. At this rate the whole world should be married by 2012. Maybe I should rethink my absolute rejection of the possibility of being a divorce lawyer.

Just kidding, engaged friends. Well, I'm not, I could make a lot of money... But I'm talking about those other people, not you, don't worry.

In the meantime, special congrats to my bloggity friends Fletcher and Lauren. I'm just going to tell people that instead of Wesleyan Spring Fling 2002, you guys got together through my blog, ok?


*Wedding-fever, that is.

Lost? LOST!

You know what, LOST? I've been following you for a few years now. I've put up with a lot of shenanigans from you... but this season... well, I have no effing idea what is going on. And here's the thing. You're on ABC. If I don't understand something on ABC, it's not (please I have to believe) because it's over my head. No, it's because it's weird and doesn't make any sense and it like the television version of some of my law school peers who use big words incorrectly to try to trick the listener into thinking they're saying something interesting. This shit is not deep. It's confusing. And I'm going to stand by that.
It's just starting to piss me off, because LOST used to be a guilty pleasure. I could catch up with that and shows like 24 during school breaks or on a lazy weekend. This year has been in many ways less busy than the first two, so I've even been able to watch them semi-regularly on tv (or at least stay up-ish-to-date via the internet.) And now it's all weird and crazy and trying to make me feel stupid. It won't work, LOST! I see through you!


And that's today's rant about television.

Time for a Little Evolution

Why does this shoe exist?

It doesn't even make any sense.

Just so we're clear, this is a rubber flat made to look like suede, lined with some kind of synthetic fur and finished off with a promise ring? And here I was thinking Crocs couldn't get stupider.*

*Full disclosure, I do kind of want these. I have held off, not only because they are crocs and not only because they are not apparently sold in the winter and not because $30 for plastic shoes just seems wrong... but they actually make my feet look pregnant. Not like pregnant person feet, but like my feet are going to have their own feet babies.

And while we're on the topic, I also want these. I was looking for less expensive alternatives when I stumbled across God's mistake, the promise ring furcrocs. I guess I can lay the groundwork for xmas.

Oh, also, I am going to New York tomorrow. When is a better time for a little mid-week getaway than finals?

Just say "yes."

Customer Service Agent: I'd be happy to assist you, first I need to verify some information.
Me: Ok.
CSA: Are you still living at ________?
Me: Yep.
CSA: And is your phone number still ______?
Me: Yes.
CSA: And your email address is "Sara H. Erlinder at yahoo.com"?
Me:.....um....yes.

Two Things About This Article...

1. "I was vetted by John McCain" sounds dirty. Like there is a lawsuit in the works....

2. Sarah Palin is like Paul Wellstone how exactly? No, gross. Find a new analogy, please...

Oh, this is the article I'm talking about.

RNC, Yeah You Know Me

I was in Minneapolis this weekend, in St. Paul for what was supposed to be day one of the RNC. Of course, the Republicans cared too much about poor people in the Gulf Coast to party? Or I suppose that's the line.

Anyway, I was a legal observer on Monday. And saw some shit. The whole thing was so disheartening, kids being beat up and tear-gassed in my home. As I said in my email to St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman, we're supposed to be better than this.

So here are the pictures I put on Facebook, with a little more narration.


The National Guard, getting ready to bust some anarchist kids' heads. Then, about 6 cops take a non-violent kid (with no shoes on) down. And kick him repeatedly on the ground. Onlookers from the sidewalk start shouting, "hey man, take it easy, chill out!"


So those onlookers got pepper-sprayed. Naturally.


Paul and Sheila would be proud of those kids, and grossed out by the St. Paul police.

I wish I could have stayed in town longer, there was literally tear-gas in the air and it was exciting... but stupid school got in the way. Today was day three of 3L... oh yeah, and SENIORS!!!!!!!!

Proof Anyone Can Get a Book Deal

Alternate title: Sometimes Making Things Into Books Ruins Them.

Exhibit A.

Kismet

My friend Liv (pronounced "leave") studied abroad with us in Chile and coined a new email address for the move-- liv2chile. It was cute and clever and of course she changed it when we got back and graduated from college...

So this guy is a UW grad, I've met him through one of my professors. And this is his run for Congress:

http://www.kenya2congress.com/

Funny.

Last Weekend

And two very New Orleans Events:

1. Friday Night: Chicken Drop at Outer Banks Bar. You can ask me questions about what this means, but the pictures and video should pretty much explain it all. Yes, this is a bar game here. And yes, if you're poor in New Orleans, these are your lawyers...

And then, Saturday, White Linen Night... where bourgeois New Orleanians dress all in white and walk around looking at art.

Next weekend? Abita Brewery Tour and tubing on the Bogachitta river, in Bogachitta, MS. Stay tuned.

New Orleans Culture in a Safe, Non-Threatening Environment

Lakeside Mall, Metairie, LA

What the Eff?

I was at work for 13 hours yesterday, about 8 of those in magistrate court. One of the PD lawyers was held in contempt after she was appointed to someone on the spot and ordered to hold the trial right then. I left at 9pm, went directly to drink an enormous fruity fishbowl called a "mambo," went home and discovered I have On Demand. You win some, you lose some.

Day 4

Is over. There are so many things that are disturbing about the way that things work down here, it would be hard to list them comprehensively. So I'll start randomly. No lawyers or law clerks have been allowed to see their clients at the House of Detention for the past two days because they are filming a Jim Carrey movie inside it. I saw 51 people get their "first appearance" this morning (where the judge determines whether there is probable cause to hold them and what their bond will be) in about an hour and half. That's three minutes per person... except the judge was on his cell phone much of the time.

The state has 45 days to decide whether to charge a misdemeanor and 60 days for a felony. In Louisiana, a felony is anything punishable by 6 months or more. In federal criminal law, and I believe every other state, a felony is one year or longer. They are charging second possession of marijuanas as felonies. This means the second time someone is caught with a joint, they can be held for two months before charges are even filed. This also means that getting arrested, even if charges aren't eventually brought, causes many people to lose their jobs, house, visitation with children. One man I talked to today was most concerned that his cat locked in his apartment and his girlfriend was in Las Vegas.

Of the 51 people this morning, 50 were black and one was Latino. It's really bizarre and not any less shocking than anyone would expect. More shocking because I am working with some amazing attorneys who are smart and dedicated and in completely over their heads, trying to do right in a system with so many wrongs.

Things from Today that Indicate We Are Not in Wisconsin Anymore

1. You must be indicted by a grand jury if your offense is punishable by life in prison or DEATH.

2. The jury must agree 10/12 to acquit or convict if your sentence can include HARD LABOR.

3.

Politico

I have a couple of other blog postings in the hopper, but I am in Day 4 of listening to public radio while packing... and this is driving me nuts.

What the hell is wrong with Hillary supporters?!!? (in general, of course some are sensible, like my wife)

Women keep calling in and saying they are Hillary supporters and will now vote for McCain. WTF? Why were you supporting Hillary in the first place? It obviously wasn't to avoid war in Iran, to exit the war in Iraq, for reproductive rights or to protect the environment. Clearly you weren't backing her for universal health care and money for schools and to take care of our most vulnerable neighbors and to rescue us from the past 7 years of bad decisions. This isn't 2000! I, too, thought we had the luxury to pick and choose and poo poo the candidate who wasn't exactly what we were looking for. Al Gore... meh. And then we saw how bad it could get. And then we got John Kerry and he still wasn't something to write home about, but he was something. Now we do have someone to write home about. We have the first African-American nominee of a mainstream party. And a man people are excited about and who stands for something and stands for something very different than what we have and what McCain offers more of. I think this whackos need to take a hard look at themselves, why they made the choice they did in Hillary and what kind of country they want to live in.

And then, like all of us, they need to start working like hell to make it a reality.

Two Things from the Drive to Mpls/St.Paul

1. Pleasehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif, for everything holy, may I never be the woman in the gas station asking her husband if he used the bathroom. And then, if I am, and he says he did not, let me never ask an adult man whether he is sure he shouldn't go here since we're getting back in the car... I do feel myself nagging sometimes and occasionally hear the voices of other people (some of whom I am related to) coming out of my own mouth. I try to stop. Or at least be sneaky so it doesn't sound like nagging. But jesus christ, I want nothing to do with a man who can't keep track of his own urination needs. And no one wants anything to do with a whiny crazy lady who devotes her energy to keeping track of when other adults have or should have peed.

2. How cool is it that after realizing I forgot to get a prescription refilled in Madison, I could googletext "Walgreens 55102," get the number, call them from Tomah and pick it up as a roll into town? The answer, of course, is very cool.

News

It is April 28, 2008. And it snowing, snowing hard, in Madison, WI. Unfortunately, I wore flip flops to school... so it remains unclear how I will get home.

At What Point & Thankful

The undergrad class continues to be a font of bizarre, boring and amusing things. I can't share all of them for fear my classmates will find my blog and I'll get the reputation of "old bitch." Assuming that is not already my nickname, of course. But there are a couple of things...
1. Say you're a white male in your late 20s with a ponytail and you work with a central american solidarity organization in Madison, Wisconsin. And say your name is Steve. Is it ever acceptable to introduce yourself to other Americans as "Esteban"? I don't think so. And the pony tail has a lot to do with my feelings on the matter. I guess I will never be confronted with such an issue, with a name that doesn't change in Spanish. Carlos? Pedro? A million years ago in high school, there was a Molly who swore her Spanish name was Maruja. Some things don't translate.

2. This afternoon, I appreciated my delicate and overpriced college experience when a girl was standing in front of the class talking about the gender binary and heteronormative language and suggested there is an intersection between race and gender. And her classmates totally didn't get it and spent a lot of time whispering and snickering. Poor girl. Some things still don't translate.

Remember when my mom thought I coined the term heteronormative? Well, she may still think that...

I'm Sure This Has Happened to You

You know when you just always assumed an expression meant one thing and then learn you were wrong? I recently realized when discussing what is the "carrot" and what is the "stick," I had been thinking the stick is what you use to lure the donkey to do what you want them to-- by using the stick to hold the carrot out in front of the donkey. Like so:



BUT everyone else is talking about hitting the donkey with the stick. Which is frankly disturbing and maybe cruel. Anyone else have any realizations lately? Is this stupid?

Crime Wave?

First my stolen bicycle seat. Then the neighborhood murder. Now the girl who lives on the other side of the first floor of the building-- her car was stolen out of our driveway yesterday. Jeez, louise. I am slightly comforted by the fact that my bike seat is more attractive to thieves than my car...

This is not my car because this one doesn't have a supercool sunroof. Duh.