BOO!

A few things I thought about today:
1) My new ipod. I bought one. The old one got lost (I prefer to think of it as stolen, but whatevs) and I... just... really... wanted... one. I missed it so much. It had been weeks. Sad weeks. So I marched down to the Wisconsin DOIT tech store over lunch and picked up a real beauty. It's really cool. Black and sexy... in contrast to its owner. And I watched an episode of LOST on it in bed. Which in practice isn't that different than bringing the laptop into bed and watching a DVD... but, you know, new toys are fun.
2) Speaking of LOST, I am now caught up with the current season. Like, the one that will be on TV tomorrow night. Those of you who know my television-watching habits and preferences know that this does NOT fall under them. But I think LOST really is THAT good. While some of my contemporaries have a laundry list of gripes about the show, my main one is how often they fall down. I mean, they've been there for two months now... haven't they learned to watch where they're going? They always run too fast and then BAM, they're on their stomachs and something bad happens. But, damn, those folks are FOINE.
3) One of the most compelling and least-often considered reasons for going back to school? Free condoms. You'd think maybe that being law students, we wouldn't have to have them given to us to use them. By many accounts over the past two months, this is not true. We are less responsible than your average 18 yr old from Osh Kosh (for those not from the upper midwest, yes that's a real place. Like Kalamazoo. And Timbuktu, for that matter.) Anyway, free condoms are a fun bonus. Besides, now I can take my mind off of purchasing prophylactics and put it back on that whole hunt for someone to love and tolerate.
4) If you look at pictures of some of these aforementioned dumb law students from parties last weekend, you'll also see that uncreatively dressing up as a random slut.... well, that never goes out of style. No matter how many advanced degrees you get.

Halloween

So Madison is famous for its Halloween party on State St. And I guess I had to check it out, since Madison isn't famous for much... I thought it kind of, well, sucked. I mean, in past years there was the risk of being tear-gassed, bonfires, SOMETHING... this just seemed to be waiting in line for 45 minutes to go to the same shitty bars that are always there.
Anyway, this is what I looked like, I was a Chili Pepper:


The scene on State was still kind of chaotic. There were a lot of costumes, and some were good. A lot of Capt. Morgan/Pirate of the Caribbean-- which seemed weirdly out of date to me. Ditto on the huge number of Waldos. We did wonder what University Health Services treated more the week following Halloween-- pneumonia or STDs? Um, maybe both.


Anyway, THIS costume particularly depressed me. If you can't tell, its a guy wearing a "just engaged" sign who is chained by the leg to a rolling board his fiance is sitting on, dressed like a black ball. Ha ha, right? They had another friend helping to push the board along who was dressed as priest.

I found this depressing because not only am I looking into the future, hoping to find another person I can love and tolerate in the long-term, but I also have to weed out the folks who think that "the old ball and chain" is a good Halloween costume. So it's not even really a matter of finding someone to love and tolerate-- it's also someone who thinks of this whole enterprise as a partnership and all kinds of other hippie shit I believe in.

Anyway, I also got into an altercation with a guy dressed up as a "mammogram provider." For obvious reasons, I hope. I may have said things like, "has this ACTUALLY worked? How many boobs have you felt tonight?" and ended with "p.s., breast cancer ISN'T FUNNY!!!!" as he ran away.

you know you're not in new york, when...

white, middle-aged american-born folks drive cabs. with no divider. so weird.
san francisco, austin, madison... all distinctly not new york and not only because of the cab drivers, but you know, probably that's a big part.

To My Esteemed Readership:

I have suffered from the cursed "write a good post, have blogger fuck it up and lose it and then be too angry to write to again." I apologize. I am also celebrating Halloween/studying for a Contracts midterms. So, unless you're looking for drunk/about the reliance interest posts... it's probably better that it's been awhile.
Thanks for understanding.
Love,
Sarah

Imploring you, for the last time, not to mess with Texas...

The first two are from a foray to the capitol, not pictured is the oil portrait of G.W. an Indian family was taking pictures of themselves under. Beautiful building, although I am a little biased as I live in the city home to the nation's largest state capitol building. Rumor has it they had to take to book out of Mrs. Wisconsin's hand so she wouldn't be taller than the Cap. in Washington. Luckily no one has dared to mess with Lady Texas. The last one is the bridge in Austin where folks line up every night to watch the 700,000-some bats that live under bridge fly out at sunset... quite a site. This is the only one that really came out, none of the bat ones are any good. At that moment I also resolved to be very diligent with my Lexis and Westlawing in order to earn a new digital camera. Hopefully before graduation...

TJ

And I'm not talking about my summer vacation in Tijuana. Trader Joe's finally hit Madison and I finally went there this afternoon. Aside from an improbably designed parking garage that seems to assume we're all already in Smart cars... what a blissful place.
My first experience with Trader Joe's was summer in Boston when I would walk two miles along a highway to the one in Cambridge in the blisteringly hot sun and carry my goods back with me, melting all the way. Things were much worse then, not limited to the fact that I had no money and was not 21.
Then TJ's came to NYC and people lined up for blocks. I never actually went in because, like a lot of good things in Manhattan, it was just too hard to do it to enjoy it at all. And then there's the logistics of carrying the goods back, this time on the subway. Advantages were that I had some money and was over 21.
Then it arrived in Minneapolis last May. I went with my mom and sister on opening day, because I happened to be in town and it also happened to be my sister's golden 15th birthday and for whatever reason that's what she wanted to do when she got home from school... we bought cake mix with Zanzibari vanilla and this insanely good dark chocolate frosting and made her a birthday cake. Advantages: a ride, still not completely broke and over 21. Disadvantages: Shopping with family, the fact that I was technically homeless and had nowhere to put anything I bought if I decided to-- except maybe next to the air mattress I was sleeping on in the living room.
Which brings me to the Madison store. $66 later, all problems have been solved. I have way too many frozen foods, but I also have frozen Pad Thai kit that made dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow for $3.50. I have two bottles of $2.99 Chuck. I have... well... lots of good stuff. I even had an overly-talkative Wisconsin-style cashier who I didn't mind...

The Airport

I spent a lot of time at airports today-- Austin, Houston and O'Hare. I like the airport. I like walking up and down each concourse, figuring out the food/retail options, I like people-watching, I like figuring out the personality of each airport-- because, while it doesn't necessarily reflect that of the city its in, they each kind of have their own.
Anyway, in my 3 hours in Houston, I was thinking about falling in love with strangers. This doesn't happen to me so much anymore, maybe because I rarely ride public transportation, but you know that feeling of standing in close proximity to someone else and by virtue of the fact that you're roughly the same age, maybe look like people who would get along, you find yourself imagining them to be your destiny?
Ok, hopefully you're still with me. I was thinking this today while waiting for the broken train that takes you between terminals at George H.W. Bush airport about a blondish late-twenty-something guy with an ethnic-looking manbag. I had it all planned out. Once the train finally came, we boarded and I noticed he had a tattoo of some passage from Luke on his ankle.
Game Over.
The other thing of note that happened at the airport was walking past Stephen Colbert after deplaning at O'Hare. I didn't say anything, just smiled. But, wow, cool, huh?

Dispatch from Austin

I like it here and I've been shown a great time by my awesome hosts. That being said, I realized yesterday why certain places always seem a little off or constructed to me (the state of California, included.) Being a cold-weather junkie, I think cities seem weird when they're designed around the fact that the weather is always nice. It lends a certain vacation-feel to the whole place that I at some level I can't reconcile. Uhhh... so this is all great, but what do you do when it's ten below?
There also seems to be a phenomenon with Austin's drinking water where it tastes like dirt. Lauren explained this last night, some thing to do with algae and the reservoir... I was just gratified to know I wasn't insane. About this.
I am also taking order for the "Texas is bigger than France" t-shirts being sold at the hotel gift shop where the convention is being held.

Update on the Med School

a) Law won the Dean's Cup. There was subway, champagne, cake and a keg at school on Monday night in celebration.

b) I finally got the pictures from our foray to the Med School.






















Now, for those of you who have never seen the Law School... well, since it is not beautiful wonderland... it is inferior. The closest to a photo of our "atrium" I could find was this one of Swathi and me. Note the darkness and low ceilings.

Something Annoying

Is not only having Torts at 7:45 am... which, I'll be honest, happens twice a week and it is completely dark when I wake up at 6:15. Which is annoying as hell.
BUT, what I at this moment find most annoying is the "awwwww" that the Torts class just emitted when the professor referred to a cow getting run over by a train. In 1902. I have always hated this. Like, where was the "awwww" when on Monday we talked about the clergyman who sodomized the 7 year old? Or the woman who faceplanted onto a steam pipe and burned off her face? Or the woman who poisoned her toddler neice to collect on the insurance? Why didn't we "awwwww" then?
I always think of watching this documentary in Theory of Knowledge senior year in high school about Coney Island. The "Awwwww" that arose out of the electrocution of Topsy the violent elephant who killed 3 people in 1903... made me want to puke. It's so lame and stupid-- for all the human pain and suffering and terrible things people do on purpose... you're going to prioritize your sympathies to an accident involving a cow 104 years ago. Is it possible something worse has happened since then?
Why don't you "Awww" that, jerkface?

And just because...

Little else blog-worthy happens...

Today I bought these...





For $20 at Urban Outfitters on my way back from lunch, and I think they are very cool and will be a great winter addition. They are also suitable for my next Badger football game. Obvio.




And maybe even for my upcoming trip to Texas.


Because my Uggs are in the shop?

Kind of Busy...

Is all I can think of to account for this... a couple of weeks ago, when I went to the hearing for the travel grant, I left my jacket there. It hasn't been turned into lost and found and it wasn't until this evening that I started to mourn its loss... it was the army green canvas jacket that I got at Kmart for $21.99 and a certain privileged Wes Alum mistook for her own Marc Jacobs version. And it had little lovely little gem stone bling courtesy of my grandma's "costume jewelery" collection. All of the sudden-- GODDAMN! I can't believe I lost that!

In other news, apparently I may understand a little bit of school, as I've gotten positive feedback on some things. I have had consistent evidence that as much as I don't know what's going on and am flailing... I'm better at it than some people. Including the girl who is consistently mean to me. And sometimes success out of spite is hugely satisfying...

"Gopher by birth, Badger by choice."

... as the cashier at Whole Foods described me this morning.

I attended my first Big Ten football game this afternoon. In discussing it, please keep in mind, that I a) was stone-cold sober and b) don't like football. But it was GREAT. So fun. There are all these songs (like the one that ends with, "when you say Wisconsin, you've said it all..."), actions (jingling of keys, this back and forth davening-like thing, lots of dancing.) And no doubt would going having had a few beers make it more fun (just couldn't do it for 11 am gametime.) These Badgers know something about having a good time...



I've never been involved in anything like it. And while I could do with getting knocked into my fewer shitfaced 19 yr olds... I'd totally do it again. I never knew what I was missing-- has this been going on most fall weekends in Minneapolis for my entire life and I just didn't know?

For more photos.

"All of us who have attended high school or lived in group residences know that there is such a thing as social control apart from the public legal system in our society."

Macauley, Kidwell & Whitford. Contracts: Law in Action, p.378

Ugggggggggggggggggggg....

I didn't think it was possible. But I do believe there are more pairs of Ugg boots on the UW campus than on the island of Manhattan. Why is this still going on? They're ugly, overpriced and impractical. I hate them, they really roil me for some reason. Meanwhile, I will have to look into whether my sister's #1 wish ever is still a pair of baby pink Uggs. Because I may actually disown her this time. While there are some allowances for being 15, some things are non-negotiable.

Meanwhile, it is 33 degrees here and I the heat is still not on in my apartment. I have been leaving the oven open, maybe because I still want to be Laura Ingalls. L.I.W. would never wear Uggs.

Name Brands

Recently my mom reminded me of how circa 5th grade I would refill Evian bottles for my image. I thought of this as I was refilling a Crystal Geyser bottle at the drinking fountain before class this afternoon- because I am too cheap and it is too cold to leave the building for new water.

Awww...

I liked this article. I sent it to my dad, because it reminded me of the trip he and I took over Spring Break my junior year in high school. We drove from NY to Boston to PA to DC and back to NY and went on a million tours. It's when I first learned of, and saw Wesleyan. Things like that, upon reflection, feel like love. The college trip and the Little House on the Prairie tour through Wisconsin, Minnesota and South Dakota circa 1989, make me feel like my dad really loves me. Which kind of counters the first two weeks of law school where all he told me was that I didn't know anything. And this was pretty nice, too:

OK I am a little teary eyed and maudlin, but you are my one and only....and I had to try to get this parenting thing close to right...sometimes it works.

Because "I only got one shot, sorry you turned out so bad" could really make a girl feel bad.

The news, today.

*I'm headed to Austin weekend after next. I'll be shacked up with my main readership.
*Maggie and Peter are moving in a couple doors down from my old house, E's current one. I wonder if they know I don't live there anymore?
*I no longer believe it is athlete's foot of the hand, just very dry skin.
*This is kind of like the cases we read in crim, but real.
*My home has been invaded by lady bugs.
* The girl who a few weeks ago told me I "sucked" in torts, today tapped me on the shoulder, I took out my headphones, and she said, "you're not going to do a good job watching Mike's stuff because of your shitty attention to detail." I put my headphone back in and turned away.
This is what I'm dealing with here, people. It ain't pretty.

A few days away...

This weekend was very good and very good for me. I spent some time with grandma, I got some work done and got the feeling I might have some idea what's going on in school... so dropping out and going to culinary school has once again been put on the back burner (pun? oh yeah, it was intended.)
Some things that happened:
*David's friend who is known for being built like a square said to me, "I am very intuitive about people, and I can tell that you're a very genuine person." So that was nice.
*A woman who left $40 in the ATM, after we returned it to her, tried to confide in me about how she was about to find her ex-husband and "beat his ass" because she didn't have any money. I was reminded that I was in Indiana. I tried to just kind of smile like I could relate.
*I watched 4 episodes of Lost and 3 of Six Feet Under, I think I finally "get it" with Six Feet Under.
*I did some anger management, which is pictured here:















* I went running--twice!--it had been awhile... unless you count speed-walking to school at 7:38am for my 7:45 class. Which I don't.
* I bumped and ground with Notre Dame undergrads and it felt like 2am, but was really 4pm.
* Just when we were getting a little too drunk, a man appeared with a platter of cheeseburgers and gave us each one... The Hamburger Fairy. One of the best things that has even happened.
* I got some good deals at the GAP outlet.
* I got an oil-change.
* I determined that I have athlete's foot on my hand... which is gross, I know. But if you can't share this stuff with the internet, who can you share it with?
* I refound a lot of music on the drive on my ipod.
* I made myself a little hoarse singing along with the entirety of RENT on the way back today.
* I remembered that Lakeside is my favorite place in the world:

Pumping the Positivity

So perhaps I am a little more new-agey than I'd like to think. In some philosophical combination of the Serenity Prayer and "living well is the best revenge," I'm doing what I can to improve myself in order to improve my situation. So I think I'm going to skip town tomorrow. I haven't been paying attention in class, haven't really been doing my homework (I do it, but couldn't tell you now what it was about...) and have found myself getting crazy in ways I don't like about silly things. So it's time to reset. And I'm making no progress, in school or in my own life development if I let myself act in ways I'm not or don't like. And now, a Jon Stewarty moment of zen, just to inform you and remind me that Madison can be a lovely place to live:



Om.

White Hot Rage and the High Holidays

So yesterday was Yom Kippur. And was also one of the most infuriating days of my life, never have I felt so much anger with so little hurt. I've been WRONGED and treated poorly and that about covers it. For the first time, I feel like, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is an accessible idea to me.
So is it really coincidence that on the "day it is sealed" (one's fate for the year. Who by fire and who by water.... etc.) I should be the victim of what may be the most blatant attack on my humanity so far? Maybe this is all a little dramatic, but the shitstorm I have inadvertently been pulled into began, came to fruition and exploded completely within the Jewish Days of Atonement. Some folks weren't atoning.... they were thinking up new ways of fucking others over.

I went to Kol Nidre dinner on Sunday at the UW Hillel. While this is borderline the dorkiest thing I have ever done and I was at least three years older than anyone else in the room and at most seven years older... this isn't the point. I went with a friend who called me out on my religious relativism. I had said that there were worse things to do than drink water on Yom Kippur. He said that murderers say, "At least I'm not a serial killer." Which seems a more than a little silly, but did make me think... on the other hand, my overarching goal in life is to be "better than average." I want to treat people better than average, do better than average in school... etc. And sometimes it's all I can do to accomplish this goal... so after dinner I was thinking I had maybe not devoted enough time to reflecting on my wrongs of the year. I mean, I have definitely made mistakes, but I have not been intentionally hurtful, I have tried to do right by people I care about and just do more good than bad. But then I was thinking, what if this isn't enough? Maybe I should stop gossiping or being jealous and being spiteful or any other weakness I can identify in myself...
Anyway, then Yom Kippur came, I was totally fucked over and I realized... hey... I'm doing pretty ok.
Now, so long as I can have both the moral highground and the upper half of the law school class... I'll be doing great.

it's only fitting...

that after an epiphany one day in Criminal Law that the thing about law school is that everyone is crazy and as crazy as I may be, I'm the picture of sanity next to some of these folks... that I'd read this this evening in a case for Crim:

Between the two extremes of "sanity" and "insanity" lies every shade of disordered or deficient mental condition, grading imperceptibly one into another.

Last Night was Lovely

Last night was lovely. I had a dinner party with 8-10 guests and everything was delicious and funny and laid-back and infused with cheap wine. Perhaps my four favorite adjectives? Folks came over at about 7:30, the last left after 2am and it really was just filled with gossip and laughing and good food. It remains weird how so many social things feel tenuous, on the other hand, things like last night feel great and natural and like there's something real forming. And great to also talk to people about how we really are all going through the same thing-- the self-doubt, the feelings of being overwhelmed, the isolating nature of this venture.
In related news, I discovered a really good (or at least seemed really good in hour 4 of the party) wine at Whole Foods, which is organic and on sale for $4.99. I was also dismayed to see that perhaps the belowmentioned propaganda isn't cutting it for the state of Wisconsin. Goddamned California.

Unrelatedly: Hustle and Flow is not a good movie. Now from Netflix, The Notebook. Which I haven't seen, but from what I've heard, I may spend Yom Kippur crying.