This Summer, So Far

And there went a month! This summer, more than others, I’ve really been appreciating how great summer is. I think doing it right has a lot to do it with, doing summer-specific things and not just living the same way in warmer weather. There have been a lot of highlights, but the quiet quality and enjoyment has been the best. In the past month of summer, I…

Drove up the Pacific Coast Highway in an orange Camero convertible.

Had a fire and drank wine at the ocean.

Walked bare-armed and sun-kissed home.

Ate tamales and fish tacos with a view of the Pacific.

Trained tomato plants into a trellis cage.

Walked dogs after work, enjoying the extended light.

Hung out by the lake in Michigan.

Read 5 paper back mysteries in a swing over 4 days.

Had two milkshakes one day, and then two rootbeer floats the next.

Drank hard Arnold Palmers at dusk.

Suntanned my legs.

Whacked weeds, watered raspberries, moved indoor plants outdoors.

Wore skirts and dresses to work, most days.

Drank drinks on a patio.

Shopped the farmer's market.

Stopped by, “just for gelato…”

Picked blueberries.

Watched a hula.

Celebrated national Hot Dog day.

Saw old friends, saw new friends, made even newer friends.

And probably a lot more. And still it seems, none of these things enough—but trying and succeeding in being present and thankful and enjoying life, are good things to do in any season.

poignant

Late the following morning, I picked her up from beside the quad. Her grin was uncontrollable as she got into the car, and her voice, usually measured, was a barely punctuated garble of names and details. Had I read Andrey Platonov’s “Foundation Pit” (she’d been to a class on it)? She met this kid who. . . . It was pledge night for boys trying to get into fraternities. . . . There was a picnic. . . . Everybody’s door was open. . . . They stayed up until after midnight, talking and singing. . . . She played a borrowed ukulele. . . . There was a boy who’d been a year ahead of her at elementary school in Seattle. . . . Everybody said. . . .
She’d picked up the slang and was talking ProFros and RoHos.
“I haven’t seen you like this since you were 7,” I said.
“I’m so excited, it’ll make the rest of high school unbearable if I get to thinking too much about it.”
She calmed down over lunch. Her great worry, she said, had been that she would never again have friends as close as those she made at high school; that college students would keep themselves to themselves and be hard to get to know. Overnight all her fears had been gloriously dispelled. Her two-house life in Seattle had, she said, helped ready her to go away. “At least I know I can survive without one parent at a time.”

This essay made me misty, poignant in a lot of ways.

The end of vacation is always boring. And logistics make it even worse, like when the sweet trip is over, I’d like to just be home in normal life. Flying and waiting for bags and getting the parked car and driving 2 hours home and picking up the dogs the next day is really just insult to injury as far as I am concerned. There’s lots to say about the trip, but for now two things that have made me laugh since getting back to work today:

1. Police report: “I initially thought he had a large piece of food in his mouth, but on closer review it appeared to be a wisdom tooth.” So gross for some reason.

And

2. Letter from client: “Especially here in Arizona, they’re mean here. Or maybe it’s just my bald melon.” (no, it doesn’t make a lot more sense in context, but did make me guffaw out loud.)

Welcome back to post-vacation, post-30 summertime!

Vacation!

We booked tickets last night for a week in California leading up to the Newner/Bruckman wedding extravaganza. And I realized, this is the first real vacation since spring break 2009 when we came out to the Southwest to interview and scope it out. There have been plenty of long weekend trips since then, but yowza... I'm overdue. And pledged last night that the next real vacation must happen before December 2013.

WesLove

Tomorrow starts a very fun Wesleyan-related debaucherous adventure in New Orleans. Tonight was a Wesleyan reception with the president of the university. There were about 50 people there, a much larger turnout than I expected. Highlight of the evening and possibly my week (was not the cupcakes from the alum's cupcake store or the spanokopita, both which received high marks) was the statement of the current Wes sophomore when I said I was a public defender. "Whoa. That's, like, legit."

Second was a senior who said he wanted to live in New York for a few years and then go to Wisconsin for law school. "I basically want to do what you did."

And it's not so shabby, is it, kids? I am insanely jealous of you that you still get to be at Wesleyan... but you can do stuff after that is, for lack of a better term, totally legit.

I also had a moment of nostalgia with a couple who graduated in '92. They have two PhDs and eight kids... and he still regrets not hanging around Middletown the summer of 1992 after they graduated. I told him I thought it was completely understandable.

Chappy Cholidays!

In the interest of full disclosure, that Gus ornament made it one day before its inspiration knocked over the tree and shattered it into a million pieces. We got some new ornaments, tougher ornaments, though. So don't cry.
Anyway, I am so in the holiday spirit already, you guys!! We have a tree up, I am drinking from red cups, I've gotten and shipped presents for both my and Charlie's moms, our sisters, for baby Jesus, I mean, preschool kid Johan and his mom, my wife. And for another birthday, not naming any names but she's totally turning 30 on Friday and it rhymes with Talison Menge.
I like it because I usually always have good intentions, I just forget. And then I have all this crap that is either totally outdated and useless or super late and it seems like I didn't really care enough. I've got some more elving to do but also have a ton of time to do it in. And maybe this future me will follow through since new me is setting such a good example for her.

In the meantime, it's almost time to go to Phoenix to go to Minneapolis tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, please enjoy this joke my client told me this morning in the psych unit:

Him: Want to to hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Him: What do you get when you fill out all your paperwork?
Me: MMMmmm... I don't know, what?
Him: A thousand paychecks!
Me: Wow, that's a good deal!



I hope you fill out all your paperwork so your Thanksgiving is better than a thousand paychecks!

Snowflake

On the way to BWI last week, I boarded my flight from PHX to Cincinnati. When I got to my seat, I was supposed to have the window but this older couple had sat themselves in the window and the aisle with a bag in between them. I have had terrible luck lately on airplanes and had my seat taken by other more frequently than it should. I don't really care, so long as I don't get stuck in the middle when I'm supposed to have an end. But even then I don't make a big deal about it, just silently brood most of the flight. Anyway, I got to the seat and gave them my best midwestern grin, "Hi, sorry, I'm here, too." They remarked they didn't mind sharing so long as they had such a jolly companion. As Erica asked upon the retelling of the story, how did they know you were jolly? A good question.
I sat on the aisle, they asked me questions. They were from Snowflake, AZ and as the conversation went on, I realized, they were Mormon. Now, I don't like to think of myself as someone immediately creeped out by someone because of their religion, but apparently I am (maybe helped by questions from strangers like, "so, are you GOING to get married?"). Overall, they were perfectly nice and kind of like a satisfaction of my earlier strong interest/obsession with Mormonism. They at one point asked if I knew anything about Mormonism... an honest answer would be I wrote a lengthy research paper in college on the sensationalistic anti-mormon polygamy literature of the 19th century, I am almost done with Under the Banner of Heaven and if I have met a fallen Mormon after a couple of drinks over the past 10 years, it usually ends with me poking them in the chest and getting way too excited. But I said, "yes, a little."
Snowflake, as you will now know if you clicked on that link is a Mormon town in Arizona named for Mr. Snow and Mr. Flake. The husband of this couple is a Flake. Through our conversation, I learned they were headed to Nauvoo to see their daughter and grandchildren in a religious pageant that I deduced was in honor of Pioneer Day. They were carrying with them a family tree with accountings of which ancestors had been saved. Holy crap, this was like super Mormons. It was basically like some really bizarre dream come true. And way more entertaining than my seatmate from BWI to Atlanta on the return who forced me to feign sleep most of the way after she said (in a completely and inappropriately loud voice) "PHOENIX! WELL THAT MUST BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT... EXPERIENCE." After a full-day of little sleep and hangover recovery, I had no idea what this meant and I didn't want to explore. So I said, "well, actually, I don't live in Phoenix, I have a two-hour drive ahead of me when I get there" and closed my eyes. Oh, modern air travel.

Flauren 2k10

Wedding #4 of the summer was Fletcher and Lauren's in Luray, Va, in the Shenandoah valley. I skipped town Thursday morning and made it to Baltimore Thursday night where I had mediocre Mexican food with decidedly non-mediocre company. We high-tailed it (well, after having breakfast with the groom from wedding #3 and taking our time) out to Virginia Friday and spent the afternoon tasting Virginia wines and drinking shandys by the pool of the Days Inn. It was approximately 97-102 degrees all weekend, just for context.
Anyway, the wedding and all affiliated festivities were excellent. It was great to spend time with old friends and even meet some new friends (how is that for a novel concept, huh, Sarah?) The wedding itself was gorgeous and there was a lot of crying involved, wedding #4 takes the prize for most tears jerked. And then after some delicious dinner, quickly and appropriately devolved into a hot, sweaty, drunken dance-party mess. I mean "mess" in the good way.

May I present a pictorial representation of the transition from beautiful and classy to aforementioned mess:







I loved it. And somehow Lauren managed to still look awesome at the end of the night, good work!

Dallas

It hardly needs to be said, but this weekend in Dallas was phenomenal and epic and necessary and wonderful. It was truly excessive in every way, except perhaps fun-- because there is never too much of that. I don't know when we're too old to sleep 6 to a room... but I kind of hope it never happens.
The wedding was so lovely, so nice, so them. The newly-married friends got together our junior year and have been engaged for 5 years, so to say there has been some, um, anticipation is something of an understatement. And it was well-deserved. The days leading up to the wedding were packed with fun and packed with friends, it was just completely... wonderful.
With a couple of exceptions of friends going through hard times, it's great to see people I love doing so well. To quote Erin, "risping." For the most part (and even the hard stuff not withstanding) friends are pursuing interesting careers and have found partners who make them happy. It's great to see. It's hard not to be nostalgic for an earlier time (say 2003-2005 or so) when most of us were closer together geographically (or, like 1999-2003 when we were in the same place.) But there was a lot more struggle, by and large, the struggle of the early and mid twenties trying to find our places. And we've come a long way toward those places. It's nice to see. And really something that these doctors and lawyers and scholars and grant-writers and editors and conservators and planning and policy wonks-in-training can still get together, laugh our heads off, drink like we got into someone's parents' liquor cabinet and stay up all night like we're still 18.


And also something to actually be close to 30 and need days to get sleep and stomach back in line with regular life. Still, so worth it.

For the Record

Consider this. I am sure that the snowstorm in the midwest is a big deal. I'm sure it's slowing things down and ruining some xmas plans. I mean, I was virtually the last person to land at O'Hare last year before Christmas. I understand. HOWEVER, a couple of weeks ago, Flagstaff received 28 inches of snow in a day. Monday we got another 6. No big deal. You know why? Because the average snowfall in Minneapolis is 49.9 inches. In 1983–1984, Minneapolis set its own record with 98.4 inches. Flagstaff on average receives 100.3 inches of snow a year. Oh, and, "Although snow often covers the ground for weeks after major winter storms, Flagstaff's relatively low latitude and plentiful winter sunshine quickly melt much of what falls, and persistent deep snowpack is unusual. One notable exception occurred during the severe winter of 1915-1916, when successive Pacific storms buried the city under nearly seven feet (2 m) of snow, and some residents were snowbound in their homes for several days." According to Wikipedia. New York City is 28.4. Hartford is 49. Actually, you can devote some serious Christmas Eve work hours to websites like this.
My point is that the next time I relate that the power is out, work is canceled and we have two feet of snow... I hope you, dear readers, reconsider your preconceptions about Arizona and give it the respect it deserves. That situation is not, as the person who may or may not have birthed me said, "a lot for there." Nope, it's just a lot. And although the season has only just started, I am confident that my snowstorm can beat up your "snowmageddon."

Thanks-- and Merry Christmas, again.

As Promised...

It's Sophy!

Weekend Recap

The whirlwind weekend in LA was wonderful. On a side note: I will go back, but I will fly there... the drive for just the weekend was ridiculous. Most of the weekend was spent in Roisin's backyard. There were many mimosas, two fabulous brunches and a good deal of Saturday watching my favorite almost-two-year-old frolic in a wading pool. Pics are amazing, would also probably land me in prison. People can be so touchy about naked babies... But there was so much laughing. One one level it seems silly to go all that way to sit around and laugh. On the other hand, if you don't get to do that in regular life, it's just the kind of vacation you need.

Forecast for Today

Wake up. Approx. 40 degrees. Potatoes, Onions, Kale hash (from CSA) and eggs. NPR. Haircut for Chuckles, drop dog off at kennel. High of 75. Drive to Phoenix. High of 102. Check in to Radisson. Go to Diamondbacks game. Drink beers. Have fake-cheese nachos. Drinks with friends after. Low of 90.

Via Chicago

I fly to Chicago in eight hours, traveling from O'Hare to Lakeside. Like I did last winter when I was the last flight to land at O'Hare before Christmas. Or when I went back for my grandpa's funeral. Or when I flew back from study abroad in South America. Or countless times since my first visit, at a week old, the story goes.
I don't like living in a third-tier airport market. I don't like time zones and distance making it so hard to get back to where I need to be when I need to be there. I'm leaving at 6am and will roll in to Lakeside around dinner time. Unacceptable. Anyway, I delayed lots of feelings all week and have been having them a lot today. And feeling some of the costs of adventure.

CONSUMPTION IS LIFE

Hi friends, you know how much I enjoy consumerism, and I missed it so being funemployed and poor. So I thought I'd share some of the products that have greatly improved our lives in, like, the past week.

I came home from work on Friday and Charlie had purchased and set up: A Wii. Rockband. Wii Fit. Mario Kart. I was delighted. Charlie was amused when I emphasized that this is the first video game system I have ever had... as an only girl-child... makes sense, but still. At 28 I've arrived!

Surprisingly, we still tore ourselves away from video game to go up to Colorado and spend a night at Mesa Verde. Uncharacteristically, we chose to stay in the lodge in the park instead of camping (partly to do with dog restrictions, truthfully.) I'm so glad we did, though. Not only because that night there were lightning storms that started 5 forest fires in the park and then put them out with the rain (reason enough to be glad we weren't camping) but- the hotel was so cool. Not deluxe at all, very basic, really, but it was this complex of sets of maybe 6 or so rooms that were free-standing and all had decks with different cool views of the mesa.

On our return to Flagstaff, we were converted by this article about coffee and bent on changing our coffee-making situation. We so far resisted a $130 burr grinder, but did spring $28 for the Aero Press. And decided to buy coffee from a local awesome coffee place to make at home. So far, so great! The Aero Press takes some adjustment, but the coffee it makes is really good.

Basically, being a two-income household (in theory, I still haven't gotten paid yet...) is great. It's interesting because living in the boonies and in a place where you don't know anyone is a great way to save money. There's no reason not to bring my lunch and so far we have only been eating out on Thursday nights ("date night") after Charlie gets back from the reservation. On the flip side, I am enjoying spending money thoughtfully on things that improve our lives-- video games only kind of count, I know. I love picking up our CSA share every week and brainstorming meals based around the fresh and local fruits and veggies we get. I like spending a little more to get really good, local coffee. And, because I'm not eating out or buying coffee daily, I think we still come out ahead.

Obviously when you don't have money, there aren't many choices to make. But I am enjoying having the latitude to make some choices of better ways to shop and live and still being fiscally responsible. I can't speak for Charlie, though, word is Beatles Rockband will be arriving at our house tomorrow....

Friends

I was very lucky yesterday and today to be a stop on the Great Erin/s and Maggie Road Trip of 2009. I would have been thrilled to host these friends in Madison, where I had friends, but it was especially nice to have guests in this new home where (since Charlie is currently on the Rez, as he will be every week) I know not a single other person. Except the garbage guy, Patrick. Oh, and the CSA lady, Karna. But really, I have not even a real acquaintance here... so friends at all was wonderful. And what was even more wonderful, was that Maggie turned in her dissertation, from my house, this morning. Dr. McConnell! What followed was the best. After a round of high-fives, we went to town and drank bloody marys in the "Coffee and Spirits" shop of a circa 1927 Route 66 motel. So first, I am thrilled to be with people who delight in getting bloody marys at noon on a Tuesday. And we're sitting there, talking about both the common experience of events and people at college, in Brooklyn and beyond. We asked another customer, a middle-aged Chicos-shopping woman to take our picture. She asked where we were visiting from. A flood of un/necessary answers came out, "L.A., well, Pasadena, well, Cambridge... and Oregon and well, I just moved here... and..." Erin offered that Maggie just completed her Ph.D and I just finished a J.D. "Smart women!" the photographer said. And we followed up with, "and she's studying architecture at Harvard and she's getting an MBA and... and... and." She was pleased and overwhelmed. And I was so happy to be with, for lack of a better term, what I consider "Wesleyan-caliber" friends. It's really what I associate with people I know from that place. These are friends earning advanced degrees and doing amazing things who don't think twice about drinking strong bloody marys with you on a Tuesday morning, to celebrate one person's success and us all being together.

AZ Update

And gosh, look, a mere 9 days later, we live in Arizona and finally have internet and phone service. Since our arrival almost a week ago, it's been a blur of unpacking and assembling and buying things.
Some things that have happened so far:
~We went to the Grand Canyon at the same time as the Obamas.

That's Barack and Sasha. I swear.

~People are really nice here. Like, really, really nice. I never really bought the midwest "nice," it usually felt phony and/or intrusive to me. But here, oh my goodness. The garbage driver came and knocked on the door to introduce himself the first time he came by. Checking for Vinho Verde at a Phoenix Trader Joe's turned into a conversation about the TJ's guy's beard growth for when he plays Santa. They're not like those conversations where you're shrinking away trying to get the person to stop talking, either. Not yet, anyway.

~The altitude is serious. Aberdeen wimps out of walks. I was looking online today for a bike ride route that wasn't called a "climb." A climb of, you know, like 2000 feet? What-ever.

~Our house has a hummingbird feeder and we get lots. I'll try to take a picture to show you. We also can see an unbelievable number of stars from the deck.

~I have an interview on Monday. I am trying not to get hopes too high, but have also now seen in real life that staying home alone for 4 days/week and not knowing one single person... well... the charm will wear off. If you can call it charm...

~Tonight we're celebrating C's first day of work and having a date where we'll eat sushi. Now that's charming!

~Also, now, with about 20 seconds of looking I can find 4-5 grey hairs. I think it'll be a good look for me... but geesh, how stressful was that move?

Sandwiches

Charlie and I sometimes talk about our future project, opening "Macon Coffee." Macon Coffee will definitely be a cool coffee shop... sometimes it will also offer the opportunity for people to fix their bikes there and/or get legal advice and fill out pro se materials. Whatever form it ends up taking, obviously we'll need to develop a menu of expensive sandwiches. So we periodically create sandwiches and name them after wherever we are. The Bandelier is pb and avocado on wheat. The Franklin (our street in Madison) is pb and melted cheese... on wheat. There's some others but neither of us can remember them tonight. But tonight, ladies and gents, I've developed the Flagstaff Snack Plate. It's Ryvita (rye/sesame) crackers with avocado smooshed over it (no knifes at the Ramada, apparently), slice of pepper jack and some turkey. You may have noticed a theme, or rather, that all of our sandwiches are made from essentially the same ingredients. WHATever. Keeps overhead low, right?

Mildly related sad story: Local news reporting that shoplifting hasn't increased, but that now people are stealing food, firewood and personal hygiene products. Sad face.

On the move...

It's been noted by others (as well as my own self in my head) that we've been on the move quite a bit this summer. Generally not trips that cost any more than the gas, but it's still a little ironic that (f)unemployment is what it takes to be able to have the freedom to get around. Tomorrow I drive to Minneapolis in order to catch a flight to Phoenix at 7am Tuesday morning. Then I drive my rental car to Flagstaff and stay at the Ramada until Friday when I come back to Phoenix and return to Minneapolis. While in Flagstaff, I try to find us a place to live and try to replace my generalized anxieties about the unknown with particularized anxieties about the barely known. Then I spent a couple of days in the Twin Cities, hanging out with my family, etc. before heading to a cabin with Kristina and her little family (hello qt with my favorite kindness-child) as well as her mom and stepdad. Then back to Madison. Meanwhile, Charlie makes his way to Anchorage for a wedding and then to Tucson for the bar. I am getting better at spelling Tucson right on the first try. We meet back up in Madison late next week and head up to the Upper Peninsula with the d-o-g to camp for a couple of nights here. No, it's not the "bar trip" of some of our peers-- a month in Italy? A tour of southeast Asia? But we're not that fancy. And we're broke. But he's been working hard and deserves a mini-break someplace pretty with his girl and his dog.
It'll be nice to have him back, mentally, and start being able to really work together on this big move. Plus it's been pretty boring being a bar-widow.

Highlights of this weekend include figuring out how and using food stamps at the farmer's market and grilling ostrich burgers (& filets) with friends on the deck. Last week also enjoyed an epic 25 mile bike ride around Lake Mendota, watching Bruno at 2-4-1 student night and noticing the hot peppers in the deck farm are growing after all! Yes, it's a quiet and domestic life here... wait, did I mention burning 5 audio books to my computer for the move-drive? Um, right, still quiet and domestic.

Internet, Let Me Tell You Another Time I Was Wrong...

I am in Minneapolis this weekend, for the Southwest High School Class of 2009 graduation, which happened tonight at Northrup Auditorium. My little baby sister Zoe, the first and only person I have met within 5 minutes of her birth, graduated. I am also, of course, a Southwest graduate... although in my day the ceremony was outside at the football field. More changes include the dissipation of the largest Tibetan community outside of Tibet (everyone is named Tenzin, and I can explain it...) and the influx of huge Somali famlies. The hall outside was a beautiful sight, full of Somali women and children, delighted at their sons and daughters accomplishment. I wanted so badly to take a picture of a group of them with mylar balloons, but didn't know how to without being rude... so I have a mental picture I'll hold on to.

I realized soon into the ceremony that I've never been to a graduation that wasn't my own. I felt impatient and cynical, mostly the whole time. I felt like the speeches were full of cliches and repetition and at one point felt the urge to shake some of the 18 year old speakers and assure them, in the annoying and condescending tone I used to hate that I have apparently grown in to, "BELIEVE ME, it will get so much better...." They spoke about the great friends they have and the importance of these 4 years. I felt old and wise and a little jealous that they still have the last ten years I've had ahead of them. They're a great ten years, I thought better and more important than anything that came before. They've been life-changing and life-affirming and I do believe I have been probably three different adults in this time. I wouldn't trade it. I noticed that my art teacher from high school was one of the "senior advisors" and then saw her there, across a sea of purple plastic caps and gowns. She was my second-favorite teacher in high school. She was young and cool and since my first-favorite retired a couple of years after we graduated, she's now my "favorite" teacher still at Southwest. When Zoe went to pick up her diploma after the ceremony, the art teacher was handing out "N through R" or something. I went over to her, tapped her on the shoulder, she turned and said, "oh my god!" And remarked at how I look exactly the same. She asked what I am doing, I said I just graduated from law school and she said, "no shit!?" And I felt so strongly like I was going to start crying... and crying hard. But I didn't, we chatted, she continued to hand out diplomas and then I left.

And now I am pretty sure I am wrong. If those years were so cynically wasted, why did her hug bring me to tears? Was it yearning for a time when teachers were also part social worker, I could cry and tell her my fears about the newest stage of adult life? Was it the undeniable that when Southwesters get together, for a wedding like September 2008 or on my deck over my birthday weekend, there is something reassuring about being with people who have known me for a long time? Longer than the new new law school life, longer than even college life (which is now almost ten years, and believe me, I value more than I can blogsplain)? Because, as I think I have mentioned before, I left Minnesota and thought I was so done and ready to start a new life-- and I got one. But it's refreshing and necessary to be around people who connect the old life with the "new" life with the new new life.

I liked one part of the student speeches very much, it was about how lots of things we think are important now will stop seeming as important. But that they are important, because they are a reflection of the choices we make and the choices we make are who we are. Soon I will switch to an even newer life, not completely alone as I have been for the past two incarnations, but a new life anyway. So, here we are Internet, I think I was wrong. It's not cool to be cynical and thinking high school didn't matter is... wrong. Those were choices, it's all part of me and connecting 28 year old me with 14 year old me... is, well, an ok reason to cry.