White Hot Rage and the High Holidays

So yesterday was Yom Kippur. And was also one of the most infuriating days of my life, never have I felt so much anger with so little hurt. I've been WRONGED and treated poorly and that about covers it. For the first time, I feel like, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is an accessible idea to me.
So is it really coincidence that on the "day it is sealed" (one's fate for the year. Who by fire and who by water.... etc.) I should be the victim of what may be the most blatant attack on my humanity so far? Maybe this is all a little dramatic, but the shitstorm I have inadvertently been pulled into began, came to fruition and exploded completely within the Jewish Days of Atonement. Some folks weren't atoning.... they were thinking up new ways of fucking others over.

I went to Kol Nidre dinner on Sunday at the UW Hillel. While this is borderline the dorkiest thing I have ever done and I was at least three years older than anyone else in the room and at most seven years older... this isn't the point. I went with a friend who called me out on my religious relativism. I had said that there were worse things to do than drink water on Yom Kippur. He said that murderers say, "At least I'm not a serial killer." Which seems a more than a little silly, but did make me think... on the other hand, my overarching goal in life is to be "better than average." I want to treat people better than average, do better than average in school... etc. And sometimes it's all I can do to accomplish this goal... so after dinner I was thinking I had maybe not devoted enough time to reflecting on my wrongs of the year. I mean, I have definitely made mistakes, but I have not been intentionally hurtful, I have tried to do right by people I care about and just do more good than bad. But then I was thinking, what if this isn't enough? Maybe I should stop gossiping or being jealous and being spiteful or any other weakness I can identify in myself...
Anyway, then Yom Kippur came, I was totally fucked over and I realized... hey... I'm doing pretty ok.
Now, so long as I can have both the moral highground and the upper half of the law school class... I'll be doing great.