I've Always Wanted a Hobby...

A week or two ago I went into Starbucks. Now, I wanted a medium, skim, sugar-free vanilla latte, but I am hip to their lingo (aka trained like a Pavlovian dog) so I asked for a "grande skinny latte." I move to the end up of the counter and wait, eventually the barista puts a drink up on the end and says, "grande standard." I didn't take it, no one else took it and they called it again, "grande standard" then kind of giggled and said "grande skinny vanilla latte."

Now I never really thought I was going to Starbucks for the respect... but this seemed to cross some line. Like you extort $4.50 out of me for a coffee and then you say I am just like every other ugg and leggings-wearing bimbo to walk through these doors (except, notably, with neither uggs nor leggings)?? I don't think so.

So I engaged in what I plan to become my hobby-- complaining to corporations. I spent longer than probably necessary on Starbucks.com telling them how on one hand their success to due to them serving the exact same thing all over the world... on the other hand they have had this whole campaign of expressing yourself through your coffee. Either hand means it's bad business to alienate your customers and make them feel like losers. Or try to, since in reality it didn't really work. But on starbucks.com, I was very offended. And it resulted in two free drink coupons in the mail. A little righteous indignation and 6 minutes of work for a $10 value? This is like having a job or something!

So my new plan is to complain to lots of corporate HQs, in the hopes of being similarly compensated. The one kind of rule I created is that I can't make up what happened, but I dial up the actual outrage I felt in the situation. So, for example, Chipotle will soon be hearing how offended I was that they told me the guacamole was extra-- I am just unsure whether to explain it was because they didn't recognize me as a "regular" or because I felt like they were calling me "poor."

I'll let you know how it goes.