The Beginning of the End: I am IN Control

I quit my job yesterday. I couldn't do it in a real conversation and so finally got the ok from my mom to write a letter. Left it and ran out last night. Woke up this morning over-tired (had to wake up at 6:30 before waking up at 7:45), hungover (the celebration of others), and feeling like I am getting a sinus infection. And with a horrible sick and queasy feeling in my stomach that wasn't relieved until I got to work and faced those I'd quit to. And they were bizarrely fine with it. And continue to be deluded. They're delusional if they think I would refer a friend for the position- anyone I've spoken to for more than 5 minutes in the past year knows how horrible they are. And how unhappy I've been. I have recognized more and more in myself these internalized signs of abuse, "what will they do without me?" "maybe if I try harder, they won't get so angry" and even continuing to be scared after I quit. A strange feeling that now I am in control. Strange and fantastic. I told my mom yesterday that I felt like I had gotten sucked in, forgotten that I am young and capable and can do nearly whatever I want. And so I will. And I won't forget and I will do the crazy because when the hell else am I supposed to do it?