Only Children

When it comes to birth order, the greatest bias is against the "only child." First, please remember, that in birth order the category is actually "only/first." But I digress. I am an only child. Well, kind of. I am my father's only child. I was an only child until a week before my tenth birthday when my mom had my sister (and I was warned, even at that young age, to never call her anything but my sister, because we came from the same womb.) But again, digression. So I identify with the only child. I know, from half of my parents what it is like to be their only child and from the other what it is to be her only child for ten years. And we get a bad rap! Truth be told, I know some terrible only children. But these are only children of intact couples, coddled along through adulthood. There is another kind of only child, the kind who was treated like an adult from a young age. And was expected to operate in an adult world. This is my kind of only child. This isn't the Veruca Salt, "Mommy, I want it NOW!" child. This is the child who learned big words and big concepts early on. This kid had a lot of adult interaction and, yes, was never in the team of kids ganging up on the parents, but had to negotiate for herself. There is no better or worse in birth order... oldest of ten kids and younger of two, it is all about explanation. However, I feel a bit hot sometimes when only children are categorized and dismissed. Because some only children feel very deeply for others and some only children are only the least little like the stereoytpes. And those only children sometimes feel like they've been fighting all the same fights "we" are now fighting, but for decades. So, odds are you know some awesome only children who have been saving your spot in adulthood... we don't need a thank you, just some kinds words the next time the dreaded "only child" comes up....

[Editor's Note: And we're only the least little bit self-righteous, too....]