Larger than Life

So the potassium supplements to stop the weird heart beat are actually as large as the grand canyon.

Sorry, I know that was kind of a stretch. There aren't a lot of funny anecdotes from life lately. Mostly because I haven't had a lot of interpersonal interaction... but so it goes, I guess.

Although it might be uncool to admit it, I am kind of liking this time. I mean, I wish it didn't culminate in finals... but I like not having other obligations and being able to design my day myself. Maybe there's also the fact that I may be coming to this from a different place from other people. I mean, I would like to do well. I won't lie. And maybe for the first time in my life, I would like to get good grades. On the other hand, everything is a trade-off. I am not willing to kill myself and I don't believe that killing myself will even improve things in the long-term. Additionally, maybe after a 17.5 years of formal education and not caring about grades and 25.5 years of living ungraded, these ones I know do not determine my worth or intelligence. Or abilities. Or what I will do. In the sense that a higher GPA means more options, I'd like one... but in the sense that I have different goals and orientations that a lot of people who are stressed about grades... in some ways I'd rather let them have the A if its going to make or break them. I've seen the big firm. It sucks and isn't a lifestyle I am interested in. So... take the grade and learn that for yourself, folks.
I think I also feel ok about it all, because things have worked out pretty well for me thus far. I am very lucky and the way I've gone about things so far hasn't steered me so wrong. There is quote from some book I never finished, about how in retrospect, the path of our lives seems guided by a divine hand. And its true, being a generally fortunate person, it's easy to look back and see that every choice was inevitable to lead you to right where you are... right where things are generally ok. Even during finals.
The other element, I think is that studying for finals has helped me see how much I have learned. From the beginning, I knew this was a process that deconstructs you and rebuilds you differently, to think differently about a truly huge body of knowledge. And while, obviously, that process isn't over, its a little fun/exciting to see the effects of it. How things relate to one another and can be analyzed.
I mean, maybe its the surge of potassium in my bloodstream talking, but I am just fine.